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In the midst of all this schoolwork stress, I'm thinking about my future for the first time in years without it being an overwhelmingly negative thing.

As we drove back from Black Friday shopping, my boyfriend and I talked about our aspirations for the future. He talked about a fantasy future where he founds a startup and sells it for millions of dollars, and we use the money to travel the world for a year. Now I'm just dreaming about that. It's nice to be able to have fantasies again, instead of just a general hopelessness about life and the future. It's nice to be able to imagine things and not immediately feel unhappy because of the reminder that they're probably impossible.

---

I was lucky again on Wednesday. We drew times for presentations right before taking our second midterm in class, and at first I was horrified because I got the very first timeslot on the very first day of presentations, which is Monday the 26th. I hadn't even started my paper yet at that point. But then I managed to trade my time (1:30 PM) with a guy who wanted to go as early as possible, so I ended up with 2:40 PM on 11/26. Well, it turned out that somebody else got that same time, and they put their name down for that slot on the timesheet before I did, so I told the teacher and I got to draw again. Now I'm going on December 5th. :)

...But I just realized I don't remember what time. Oops. Oh well, I guess I can just ask during class.

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Boyfriend: You're so pretty.
Me: Do you know what Matching Hypothesis is?
Boyfriend: No.
Me: It's the idea that people generally end up with people who are about the same as them in terms of physical attractiveness, and that means...
Boyfriend: ...That you're the exception to the rule for being with someone as ugly as me?
Me: NO, IT MEANS YOU'RE ATTRACTIVE.

>:C

He calls me pretty/cute/adorable/beautiful etc. all the time, and I want to compliment him back, but I don't know what to say. I want to raise his self esteem like he's raised mine, but it's hard. :(

Thanksgiving was fun, though very tiring. There were eighteen of us total, and we made way too much food. I honestly don't know how we can possibly finish it all... My mom had me make two batches of mac and cheese, and that was a mistake, I think. It's good and all, but it's going to get tiring very quickly. My boyfriend needs food to put in the empty fridge in his new apartment (he got it two days ago!) though, so I suppose that'll help a little. I still haven't seen his apartment... I kind of want to get him some candles or something as an apartment warming present.

Goal for today/tomorrow (it's Friday... but it's 12:31 AM right now so I feel like it's still Thursday) is to finish my book for Psych and write a 5-7 page report on it. It's a library book due tomorrow and we already renewed it once, so I gotta be speedy. >_< Bleh, homework.

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The food at my school (community college, that is...) is pretty terrible. I had pizza there one time and it might have been like the third worst pizza I've ever had? It was not fully cooked. I kept thinking something was really wrong with the texture and realized it was because it was dough. Gross. I also had a grilled cheese from there because I was hopeful that the pizza was just an anomaly and that turned out to be a mistake. The ratio of cheese to bread was very unpleasant. I can deal with not enough cheese for the bread (which was very very sour sourdough...), but having twice as much cheese as bread is just kind of nauseating.

Maybe they're aspiring to be as bad as real college food. I don't know.

To be honest the food at St. John's wasn't too bad, unless you count the seasonally-sad salad bar. Maybe it's just 'cause I'm from California, but I was perplexed by the offerings of the salad bar during winter. The lettuce was all... not... very fresh... They never had really gross pizza, though, I'll give them that. I guess they can't, being in New York and all. And I did manage to get fat on the grilled cheese, even though it was dry and lukewarm half the time. I guess you could complain that they really stop trying towards the end/beginning of the term though. Like, they really really stop. They just kind of throw whatever is around together and it is not really good.

Okay I don't really miss eating there.

Happy to have shed those ~15 lbs.

It's weird, I felt both fatter and thinner in high school than I do now. I have gotten a teensy bit taller since college, so it's possible that's what makes me feel thinner (same weight as high school, even a little less maybe if you're comparing now to my senior year), but sometimes I poke at myself and wonder if I had (so much) fat in certain areas before. I don't remember. I don't think I'm very fit. Think my metabolism has slowed down since high school, though, maybe? I used to eat more than I do now.

I talked to a transfer counselor at school. If I do things right I should be able to leave after this year. I could have left earlier probably but I didn't know what I was doing/what I wanted to do.

I want broccoli soup from Aqui and chocolate soda and other things.

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