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I must learn my place
Saturday. 3.26.11 12:49 pm
I understand that he hasn't seen his mom since we moved here, but apparently I have to stand up next to the couch for 15 minutes before anyone realizes that I should be offered a seat.

Maybe it's because I'll still be here when his mom leaves so he can give me the attention then.

It's a good thing I'm working so much the next few days. He won't have to worry about giving me any attention since I won't be here.

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it's only gonna be for a few days ...
Saturday. 3.26.11 1:34 am
Jacob's mom is in town and I'm okay with that ... but it's the music that she's got playing to help her sleep that's going to get on my nerves. This apartment is pretty good when it comes to blocking out noise, but when she's got the music turned up? The walls don't do much then.

So I've got my laptop in the bedroom tonight {and probably for the next few nights} so I'll be playing soft music of my own. Mostly to cover up the stuff she's got playing. If it was like soft jazz or classical or something of the such, I wouldn't mind. But country? Hell no. It's bad enough that it's in the house. Ugh, oh well. Like I said, it's only for a few days.

Anywho, I picked up a couple extra shifts this coming week. I work my normal 2pm-10pm today {Saturday} then I have to turn around into a 16 hour shift Sunday, 6am-10pm. The morning shift is what I picked up. Then Monday, which is my normal day off, I picked up the swing shift: 2pm-10pm. Then I'll have Tuesday off before going back to my normal schedule Wednesday. 16 hours of overtime will definitely look nice on the next paycheck. But Wednesday will probably be mostly spent sleeping. We have to renew our lease that day, but otherwise? It's pajamas and bed for me.

Alrighty, I guess that's it. I had to rant about the fact that there's extra music in the house. Hopefully I don't overwork myself this weekend.

Until next time NuTang ...

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seriously? it's not that serious.
Monday. 3.21.11 10:43 pm
I used to be bothered by the things that my friends would put on their Facebook. But then after a while, I realized it wasn't that serious.

Like my "friend" does. Seriously. This "friend" takes everything that goes on on Facebook way too seriously. Not understanding the full meaning behind things that others post before making assumptions.

They also delete everyone who isn't immediately relevant to them when they're in a bad mood and then add the deleted friends back when they're over whatever it is that's bothering them.

I don't really care if this person wants to delete me as a friend, but I just wish they'd stop taking things so seriously. It also makes things awkward at work. Which is why I try not to add to many people from work to my Facebook friends list. Either that or I seriously cut back on the status updates. Which I do anyway so I guess it's a win-win.

I'm the first person to admit that I overreact, but I'm not as bad as this person. Not even close.

Ugh. Whatever.

In other news, today was a good day. Jacob and I had a date night. We went out to the movies and had dinner afterwards. Paul was funny. And sushi is always delicious. All in all, a good day.

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emotional breakdown and important steps
Monday. 3.21.11 2:32 am
After three months of working at the hospital, it finally got to me. I was already feeling upset and down and just not in a good place, but when I started patrolling the Pre-Op wing, it just got to me and I broke down. The reason? The way the rooms are set up, they look exactly like the room that Jacob was in when he had his surgery. The sliding door, the curtain that goes all the way across, but doesn't touch the floor ... I just started crying. Like I said, I already was an emotional mess, but I was trying not to break down at work. Luckily it was Saturday and with the hospital being closed, I was free to break down right there in the middle of the hallway.

After a few minutes I finally managed to calm down, but the rest of the night I avoided that particular wing. I'm not really exactly sure what it was that had me all messed up to begin with, but I really wasn't having it on Saturday.

I felt better today.

One other thing that occurred on Saturday was a very important step for me. Something I haven't been able to do in the past, for reasons unknown. Probably mostly fear.

I finished and submitted my FAFSA application. I also submitted an application to three separate community colleges in the area. Each has a good Marine Biology program, so hopefully I hear back from one or more of them soon.

So, I finally made a step towards getting my future set up, rather than just waiting and seeing if something happens.

In other, happier news, I met Jacob three years ago today. It doesn't really count as our anniversary; we actually don't have an 'official' date when we became an 'official' couple. At this point I'm just going to go by the day that he proposed and we'll celebrate that until the actual day of the wedding occurs. {Who knows when that'll be, but I'm okay with that.} We didn't do anything to celebrate us meeting three years ago today. Work got in the way of doing so.

Same with his birthday. We're both working two different shifts that day so celebrating on the day will be impossible. I told him to pick a place that he wants to go or something that he wants to do and I'd treat him to it. So that'll happen either tomorrow or Tuesday.

Anywho, I needed to get that out of my system. I wanted to talk to Jacob about it, but I didn't know how to bring it up. But that's really all that's happened in the last few days ... or since whenever it was I wrote last. . . which I think was a couple days ago.

Until next time NuTang ...

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this or that
Saturday. 3.19.11 1:42 am
I'm having a hard time getting into my book. I'm currently reading Jack and Jill, by James Patterson. I love the author and most of his books are real easy to get in to. But every once in a while, I'll come across one or two of his books that just takes me longer to become interested in. Jack and Jill happens to be one of them. It is a good book thus far, but I just can't seem to keep my attention on it for more than a couple chapters at a time. Which, if any of you have ever read anything from James Patterson, would know that that means not reading more than maybe 6 or 7 pages at a time. Oh well. I'll get in to it eventually. Especially since I already bought the next book in the series: Cat and Mouse.

Anywho, I saw this new trailer today that has a very, very similar story-line as another movie that just recently came out, but in my opinion looks funnier. I also like the two main actors in the new movie compared to the other.

Friends With Benefits


No Strings Attached

Like I said, in my opinion, Friends With Benefits looks funnier. I like Justin Timberlake better than Ashton Kutcher. I like both Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, but I think as an on-screen couple, Mila and Justin go better. I haven't seen No Strings Attached, but it's on my queue so when it becomes available, I'll have it shipped to my house.

I'm sorry if the title made anyone think about the Kia Soul hamster commercial. My bad.

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independence ≠ freedom
Tuesday. 3.15.11 2:07 am
So I suppose all is forgiven. He's got a cold so his mood is a bit off anyway, but we've been able to laugh and joke. I'll just be trying my very hardest NOT to be bringing up the death of my grandparents again. Or at least for a really long time.

I was thinking earlier about the difference between independence and freedom. In my opinion, the two are not one in the same. Similar, but not the same.

See, I found my independence in Tucson when I moved in to my own place. I still didn't have the freedom to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I was held back because of the lack of transportation.

I gained my freedom when I bought my car. Even borrowing my mom's car didn't constitute freedom because I had to have it back for when she needed it and I couldn't use it whenever I pleased in case she needed to use it.

As of right now, I suppose I have both. Freedom to do whatever, whenever, wherever. And the independence from parental control. However, financially, I wouldn't be able to support myself fully right now. I'd have to make sacrifices; kind of like I did before. I chose to pay everything else and only buy food on the rare occasion I could afford it. Well, with the combined income food is more than affordable. I am independent, but there's sort of a joint thing to it right now.

I very much love having my car. Even though it sucks a big chunk of money out from underneath me. I am aware that car insurance premiums go down when one turns 25, but I have a feeling it's not going to go down much. Oh well. Even if it goes down $20, that's still $20 that I didn't have before.

Having my car allows me to leave and go wherever. It's slightly restricted here; parking isn't exactly a free luxury. You either park on the street {I don't know how to parallel park, so this proves a challenge} or you find a lot and pay. More than half the street parking you have to pay for as well. You're lucky if you can find free, unrestricted parking. For example, Walgreen's down the street. Their lot is free to park in, but you have to be a customer there. You can't even park in their lot and walk the 50 steps to the Starbucks.

Wow, I kind of changed the topic a bit there. I mean, I guess it still goes along with freedom, but in a completely different way in which I had been talking about. Either way, I apparently needed to get that off my chest.

Anywho, I also realized that I only seem to write whenever Jacob isn't around. He's here tonight, but he's asleep. I'm not really sure why that is ...

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