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I want to go outside and play.
Monday. 4.5.10 3:59 pm
It's 4pm, beautiful outside, and I have no idea what I'm going to write about! Argh!

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Easter is for Bunnies.
Sunday. 4.4.10 4:54 pm
So today is Easter. I would like to bite off a bunny's chocolate ear or discover treasure inside a yummy egg, but alas, it is not to be. Who told me to be Chinese and in Chinatown?

My very worst enemy is Mr. Procrastination. Die, mister, die. As of right this minute, I have succumbed to his persuasive wiles. But! Not to fear, I am determined to fight him and win. It is just a matter of when. The beautiful weather REALLY doesn't help.

Back to procrastinating. Maybe just for a few minutes. I DO need to get to work. There is an 8-page paper waiting for me.


The oldies singing and playing music in the park are giving me a headache. I doubt I'm going to get any work done. I think I'm going to have to wait until nightfall when they finally pack up and go home. *groan* My head aches and my eyes feel tired. Maybe I should take a nap...

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I am realizing...
Monday. 3.29.10 3:48 pm
...just how greedy and selfish certian members of my family are. And it's a trait only in the older generation (meaning my mother, aunt, and uncles). Obvious in the uncles. Not so obvious in my mom, but it's there. I do not believe it's in my aunt. Truly, I cannot believe the selfish-ness in these two uncles. They are like seven year old boys who think they can steal the things they want and no one will be the wiser if you don't talk about it.

Sigh. *shakes head* I hate feeling more grown-up than grown-ups. Partly because they don't appreciate it and I'll get in trouble if I show it--which I have absolutely no qualms about doing. And because I shouldn't! Jeez.

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I was...
Monday. 3.29.10 12:22 am
...actually pretty mad at myself about the paper. Still am, though not as angry now because I started working on it again.

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Me Wants Many Things
Saturday. 3.27.10 9:59 pm
First of all, I should be finishing the paper that I "sent" to my professor yesterday. Of course, it wasn't completely Spring Break yet for him since it was Friday and him having to class and I didn't. So he emailed me back saying I forgot the attachment. I pretended I didn't see that. Therefore, I will be going back to that paper and writing 2 and a half more pages right after this so I can "Oh, I'm so sorry, Professor! Here's the link!" Yes, I'm going to Hell. But we all knew that.

Damn, that was sneaky of me.

Me thinks me wishes for...

Me boyfriend
(I do not currently or ever possessed one. Close calls, but something always happened.)
Me happy life
(I'm almost there. I can feel it. Thus, that fact makes me much happier, but not happy.)
Me road trip
(I've wanted to go on a road trip for so long. Just me, my friends, long stretches of highway and strangers to meet, things to experience. 'Course for me, that won;t be my life. It'll only be a very very small part of it. At most, a month? Two? Three? But that's it. Unless I get really into traveling and it'd be so cool and if I could afford it...)
Me best friends
(I don't have any best friends. I have good friends, old friends, close friends--closer than anyone else, at least, which isn't much--but no best friends. *shrug*)
Happyness, of course!
(Here I think of Mumble, the cutest most courageous adorably fluffy penguin EVER.)

People, my TWITTER is Silverdotty. I don't update it as regularly as my personal one, but that's just bc why do u guys care what's going on here in NY? Or that this train isn't working or that train isn't or that the senators are crazy, blah blah. But it's updated often enough. Way more than my Tang blog. This way you can still tabs on me. If you are so inclined. The link is in a module to the left because I am too lazy to put it in here.

Now back to my paper...

By the way, no one--NO ONE--who knows me in real life knows I did that. Don't ruin it for me, okay? Love you, good night, dearest Tangers.

Oh, wait!

None Me-ness that Me wants...

Me Planet to be Happy
Me Planet No Melt No More so me penguins and polar bears don't die
Me Planet's Peoples to be Happy
My NuTang's Peoples to be Happy


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Finding what's right
Tuesday. 3.16.10 7:51 pm
On Facebook, I put my status as "got A, A, & A- on the tests she got back this week. If only these were my semester grades. At least I have Spring Break to look forward to! Btw: No SanFran, guys, sorry. =( Maybe HK." Someone responded, "whoa!! great grades!! good job!!" I came back with, "I'm at John Jay. It's not particularly hard. >.> Though I must say, I barely studied and correct answers just popped in my head during test time. I must be some kind of genius. ;)"

All kidding aside, I am thinking about transferring. Every time I sit in my Sociology class waiting for someone to answer the professor's less-than-intriguing-definitely-not-hard-to-answer questions, I want to put a bullet through my head. It's the first time a class has ever made me want to kill myself. Eventually, either me or Kathleen or one of those really-eager-to-be-A-students-but-aren't-particularly-smart kids in the front row will raise their hands.

I am one of the founding class of English 201 Advanced. And yet these 'advanced' students have trouble finding similarities between two short poems. Each had about three short stanzas and were nowhere near Homer or Shakespeare. One was "The Red Wheelbarrow," for crissakes! As much as I love the professor's 50 pgs of sophisticated reading per week, I really doubt the class really understands or appreciates the material. Do you know what these kids came up with for the poems? "Oh, both of them have the word 'chicken'!" and "Oh, this is about the cycle of economy, right? (Gary Soto's poem) And this one is about a wheelbarrow. A wheel is a circle like a cycle!" Kill me now. Just. Kill. Me. Now.

This is fucking COLLEGE.

And it is this unbelievable situation that makes me want to give up. It doesn't make me want to work harder and give it my all. It makes me want to do the opposite. I can barely get up the energy to do anything. It doesn't matter in the long run. In this institution, the dim-witted hard workers will get the same or higher grade than the smart kids. Just because we don't have to work as hard to understand a freaking poem. God.

Now that I finally decide I want to look into transferring, I see that Columbia only accepts those with less than 4 semesters at other institutions, preferably one or 2. Guess what? That means right now! But stupid me, due to the unfortunate side effects mentioned in the above paragraph, I have a 3.3 GPA from my first semester of four classes. My lowest grade was a B- which frankly, I expected to fail because I fell so far behind. Damn it. I have no idea what I'm gonna do. If I'm going to transfer, I'm getting out of CUNY (City University of New York - a group of community, lower, and senior colleges that belong to the City of New York, aka public insititutions), otherwise there's no point in transferring at all. Too bad Macauley (CUNY Honors Program at various CUNY colleges) doesn't accept transfers.


(Yes, I came back and went on a smiley rampage. 3/17/10)

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I've been gone for a while...
Sunday. 3.7.10 2:51 am
I don't really know why.

The latest ketchup
I got a MyTouch. ;)
I'm listening to Pandora more than my ipod shuffle.
I'm finally starting to use my Google Reader (RSS).
I'm on Facebook way more often because I'm automatically connected through aforementioned device.
Internet at home is still not working, a.k.a. unreliable, therefore I use my new technological gift to access the internet. I don't like accessing the 'Tang from there so sorry. =/

What else...can't think of anything.
See ya'll!

@thaitanic: I don't really know how to feel with your "for your age" comment... Given that I am NOT like others my age, nor do I fit in with those older than I because of ageism. Eh. *shrug*

To all a good night.

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Wednesday. 1.27.10 5:12 pm
I can feel it. Building up inside of me. A kind of aggression, but good for you. Taking control. "It's my life!" he cried. "Take that!" Finally able to do what had always been planned, then sacrificed, now alive again.

Snowballing. I don't mean the process of squishing soft wet snow between your gloved fingers forming finger-printed lumps of snow. I mean...the accumulation, the slipping and sliding of things going too fast, snatching more kisses than there are left in the Hershey's bag because they're just too good and you know soon there will be none left and you can't decide if that is a good or bad thing and you keep taking them anyway because they're so good, too good to be bad so you keep eating it anyway. This accumulation just keeps going and you see the bottom of the bag but isn't empty yet and you don't know when it will be.

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