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If only I had wings . . . by invisible @ NuTang.com
Saturday. 10.16.10 7:24 am
Holloween Horror Nights!!!!!!!!

I had an amazing time with the old gang! It was nice to go out and forget about lifes troubles and just have fun. My favorite part was being chased by chainsaw guys! :D I'll upload some picks when I get them.

Tye's been having some ups and downs. I know we'll make it through all the BS but, I wish I could be there for him. I miss him so much... my loserface. He's moving into the new apartment soon. I hope he gets the moving van up here soon. My living room looks like a used furniture store. I'll hopefully be going up there for a few days. He has a 4 day weekend for Vet. day. So, I'm gonna go up there the weekend before, and then we can drive home together. I love him so much :)

KB has 6 teeth now!!! :D She has been having fits and screaming and fussy A LOT!! I guess this is the stage everyone warned me about lol. No worries! I got this. If number two will be in the very new future I need to prepare myself for double the work (No, I'm not prego).

Thats about it

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Bitch Bitch Moan Moan
Monday. 10.11.10 7:04 pm
I am so tired it's not even funny >.<

I was suppose to hang out with friends today but, that didn't go according to plan...

Parents are out for the night.

My sister and her friend are in the back yard fishing.

KB has been fussing and screaming all day >.<

I have a head ache.

Bitch bitch moan moan...

I talked to Tye about not coming to see me this weekend and everythings cool now. Althought I was very upset and had reason (You know I did babe :P), I shouldn't be causing him any more stress. He switched to a different two bedroom apartment last second. Its still nice and a lot cheaper. So We'll be saving a bit of money in the process. I can't wait to be living with him. I asked him to see if he could put a little money aside when he gets the apartment so I can come visit for a week. I can't wait to see him again. We are both very stressed and sexually frustrated >.<

Went window shopping with my mom-in-law yesterday for the kitchen of our apartment. She called me earlier and let me know she wants to go out again tomorrow. It'll be fun! I wish Tye was here with us :(

KB has 5 teeth that are for the most part half way through. There's no sign of any more coming in, but I know they're there! It's only a matter of time :) I still can't believe she's almost a year old. Time really does fly!

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Saturday. 10.9.10 10:18 am
I found out Tyler was going to surprise visit me this weekend but couldn't :(

It upsets me to think he could be here right now.. stupid room inspections!!!!

I just dropped Khloe off at the visitations, which isn't making me feel any better >.<

BUT!!! With some good news, an old friend of mine is coming into town this weekend. I can't wait to see her! It's been years since I last saw her, and I know it'll be a blast having her here this week :) My woman, a buncha friends, and I are going to Holloween horror nights this Thursday. I havn't been to HHN in a few years, and it'll be cool to get the old gang back together for some good ol' times. It's gonna be fun!! :D

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Weird dream
Wednesday. 10.6.10 8:27 am
I don't remember full details.. But I remember my neighbors were at war. The families were attempting to make weapons of mass destruction out of toy's like nurf guns and other weird gizmo gadgets. My house was in between the mess, and my mom was throwing a party and a lot of people were over.

For some wonderful reason my neighbors had chosen me as a messanger to relay information or bargin between the two families. One family thought they had the war in the bag, and were inviting friends over for a huge feast they had prepared. The other side had been franticly making weapons and making strategies to attack.

Whats the weirdest part??? I was pregnant and all I could think of and wanted was a large chocolate milkskake from McDonalds....

I have no idea why I had that dream...

Anyway! Things have taken a turn for me. I'm looking on the brighter side of life. Instead of sulking that I'm not with Tyler right now, I'm thinking of how amazing it's going to be when I get to see him again. When it all boills down with the apartment he's sticking with what we got. I'm kinda happy because I LOVE that apartment. It's so awsome. We were donated a couch from a friend to add to our mismatch collection of donated furniture. Tyler and I don't really care if nothing looks right together. It's furniture, it's free, and we are very grateful too have it. Much later down the road we'll worry about getting everything lookin' pretty together when we're settled into a house. For now it's going to be livin' the army life :)

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Jesus and $$$
Monday. 10.4.10 7:28 am
Nothing like a little bit of church to ease your mind.

God it great :)

I may not be able to see Tyler untill November but, everythings gonna be ok. God has given me the strength to carry on. Don't get me wrong, I'm still sad and miss him. However, I'm not morbidly depressed like I've been the past few days.

My mother did something incredibly fucked up yesterday... She handed me a peice of paper with an organized list of the debt I owe her and my father and said "Is this yours?" I understand I owe them money but, my mother is taking it too far. She is money hungry in every way. She consistantly asks me how much money Tyler is making now that we're married. She wants to know because she's trying to figure out how she can aquire a chunk of it. It's pathetic. I spoke to Tyler yesterday about finding out if I can live on the next base he's transfered too. He'll be deployed but, atleast I won't be living with my mother. I can enroll KB into a daycare on base and get a job. then I'll send my mother the precious money she is craving.

My mother is driving me insane. But, I know in the end I'll be with my family and that's all that matters.

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Reese's Puffs!!!!!
Saturday. 10.2.10 5:22 am
It's really early.

KB woke up about an hour ago and she was ready to play! I'm so tired.... I couldn't get to sleep untill late last night.

I'm spiraling down into a pointless depression once again. I miss Tyler so much it's driving me insane. Missing him isn't what's depressing me, it's the fact that we won't have much time together before he gets deployed. It's also crazy to think back. When it was the two of us and are buddy Adam. We were inseprable. I remember hearing honking outside my window at 8 in the morning and and Tyler breaking into my house with the spare key to drag me out of bed. We spent all day, every day together doing stupid stuff. Back when we Were 17, if someone would have told us Tyler and I would be married by 20, I had a kid, and Tyler was in the army, we would have laughed at them and called them crazy!! Secretly it's what we always wanted. Back in the SC, a little whille before I left, I remember we made a promise to eachother. I said "If were not married by 30 we'll marry eachother. And he said "Hell no! I want to be married before then!". After reasoning we settled at 21. We couldn't even wait untill then! I love him so much :)

Ranting again!! x.x Sorry... like I said it's early and I'm bored... and hungry..

Anyway, Tye told me last night that he was going to switch to a 1 bedroom apartment. It's understandable because there's no point on wasting the money when KB and I won't be there. And we'll only have a few months together before he get's deployed anyway... BUT.. he also may have a connect to a cheaper two bedroom apartment that is still close to base. It'll probably be the same cost as a 1 bedroom at the aprtment complex we were looking at.

Khloe is getting fussy.. I'm going to calm her down and then whip me up a bowl of reese's puffs :D

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Friday. 10.1.10 8:28 am
Some big changes are happening the month.

For they sucky news... Not tomorrow, but next Saturday baby-daddy's visitation start every week untill the end of January. I have reasoned with my mind that there's no point stressing about it. It's something I gotta do and it won't be forever. I just wonder how long he's going to keep this up. He never wanted to have a baby. He was never there for the 1st month of her life, and was only around when he had to take care of her when I went to work. He use to call it "baby sitting". That enraged me. I use to say "It's not baby sitting, it's called being a FATHER" I'm ranting on again... ugh

Tylers apartment will be ready mid October. He's sticking with the two bedroom, and I'm planning on going up there for a week to help set it up. I'm giving him my flat screen TV. I'll probably send over a few things for Khloe and I to have there when we visit in the future. In February I'll finally be able to move up there. Tyler, Khloe, and I can be together as a family :)

The same day the apartment is ready my best friend is getting married :) My best wishes go out to Lori (Midnightmonkey) I wish I could be there, but I cannot afford the trip and have to much going on. Ugh... Has anyone found the easy button yet???

In less than 2 months Khloe Bell will be a year old. Where did the time go??

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Miss You
Wednesday. 9.29.10 7:26 pm
I wake up everyone morning to see KBs little facing peeking over the bars of the crib. Her smiling face is always a pleasure to wake up to. However, waking up without you by my side has become quite depressing. Words cannot describe how much I miss you. I miss looking into your eyes and saying I love you. I wish we could be together as a family with no worries.

Where's the easy button in life? I cannot seem to find it :(

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