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I changed a baby for the first time today. You'd think, considering I've been working in a nursery for several months, that I'd have done it already by now, but nope, this was the first time.

So... that was something.

One of the babies that was being held by another nursery worker reached in my general direction today, and my coworker (feels weird calling her that) took that to mean the baby would rather be held by me. Well, I took him, and then he grabbed his cuddly blanket-frog thing out of his diaper bag. So... I don't know if he actually wanted to be held by me or he just wanted his frog.

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I've been watching the gradual deterioration of a squirrel corpse on my bike route. It was fresh a few days ago, hardly looked like a car hit it at all. Now it's flattened and the head is gone and there are red innards protruding from the body.

I always feel sad when I see dead animals on the road. I wonder if the person who hit that squirrel even noticed.

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"Orgasmium is a homogeneous substance with limited consciousness, which is in a constant state of supreme bliss. An AI programmed to "maximize happiness" might simply tile the universe with orgasmium. Some who believe this consider it a good thing; others do not. Those who do not, use its undesirability to argue that not all terminal values reduce to "happiness" or some simple analogue."

Should happiness be our ultimate goal?

I haven't thought so for a long time. It's not one of my personal goals, at least.

This is just an interesting reason to back up how I've felt.

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Pluto is not a planet anymore, we've all known that for awhile...

Listening to "I'm Your Moon" by Jonathan Coulton just reminded me of it.

My kids won't know Pluto, will they? Is it being taken out of textbooks? Or will they still include it and just call it an ice dwarf? I just looked at the comments for the song on Youtube and apparently this has happened before. I'm not even sure why it matters-- technically they're just rocks, right? I guess it's just weird to grow up and have things you thought were facts change. It happens all the time, I suppose, but I don't know if I'll ever get entirely used to it.


They invented a reason
That's why it stings
They don't think you matter
Because you don't have pretty rings
I keep telling you I don't care
I keep saying there's one thing they can't change

I'm your moon
You're my moon
We go round and round
From out here, it's the rest of the world that looks so small
Promise me
You will always remember who you are

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I saw a series of short films at the Cinequest Film Festival downtown with my friend Gwenny this morning. They were all decent, but I didn't think any of them were mindblowing. A couple left us wondering if they had really just ended them on the note they did. They held a Q&A after the showing where people could ask the filmmakers (and there was at least one actor) questions. It wasn't formal at all-- everyone was just standing in a wide circle as if we were a very large group of friends. I thought about asking how they go about casting people for roles where the character is supposed to be ugly, but I didn't. It's something I've often wondered about, though. I mean, do they just say "we're looking for people who are ugly" and some people come in and go "hey, that's me! I'm TOTALLY unattractive!" It just seems odd.

Originally we had intended to get brunch beforehand (the show was at 11 AM) and then see the films, but we got a late start so we ended up just buying some doughnuts at Psycho Donuts so we could get our parking validated and then covertly ate them in the theatre. I got a glazed buttermilk bar doughnut and a cinnamon and coconut topped one, and she got a banana bread one. I ate the buttermilk one before the show (it was delicious) and stowed the other one in my bag for later.

After the films we thought about getting lunch, but the doughnuts had filled us up so much that we decided to just get frozen yogurt instead. There was a place really close by so we sat in there and enjoyed it and talked about the films. I got chocolate and pistachio and had maraschino cherries and caramel turtles and mini peanut butter cups and sliced strawberries. :P

When we were done with our frozen yogurt she dropped me off at home and my friend Lucy came over a short while later. We walked over to an estate sale and I got a sci-fi anthology and twelve old photographs that had been made into postcards. I'm planning on using them as a writing prompt. Lucy got some cool little figurines and Isaac Asimov's "Nightfall and Other Stories". I only paid two dollars for what I got, so I was pretty pleased.

After we walked back to my house we sat on the couch and just talked about life, which was nice. I miss hanging out with my female friends and just chatting. Most of the time my boyfriend is the only person I see outside of school.

I told Lucy about how my boyfriend can be kind of close-minded at times, and I'm starting to think about how education has influenced that. He went to a really tiny high school (~50 people) and he hasn't really been through much college outside of a few computer science and business classes, so his worldview is kind of narrow. In contrast, I've taken tons and tons of college classes in a bunch of subjects and I think that's changed the way I see the world a lot. Beyond just not believing in an objective right and wrong anymore, I also tend to view things as just existing in separate spheres and being different instead of being "better" or "worse" than one another. For instance, to say one culture is better or worse than another is like saying an elephant is better than a flamingo. How can you compare those things? And what are you using as a basis for comparison? It was very hard to explain to my boyfriend how this works for me, and I'm not a good debater to begin with so I don't think I got my point across at all.

When I'm speaking out loud I'm not very focused and it's difficult for me to get my points across. I also trip over words and go blank and generally have a harder time with things than I do with writing or typing. On the one hand, it's much better for getting emotion-related connotations across, but on the other hand, I am pretty much just terrible at talking. (I also have a quiet speaking voice and slur my words together sometimes-- it's really not ideal) I think that written words are better for me personally if I have to debate something on a more rational level because I can be clearer and more focused. But yeah, anyway, I often find that I have an argument that goes badly because I don't know how to say what I want and when I later write it or type it out it's infinitely clearer. Kinda wish I was more balanced. -__-

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Once again I am very grateful for the support and caring of this community.

I guess things are okay for now.

Still hesitant about how to proceed.

Nothing has really been worked out, but at least I feel better.

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A couple of black squirrels have become regular customers in my house's back patio and come up to the door for peanuts. One of them will even follow my dad around on the patio. We get some grey squirrels too but they tend to be grabby and I don't like them very much.

Anyway, I decided to Google "black squirrels" and this image came up:


I thought it was funny.

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