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Memores acti prudentes futuri

You're unsure if I am a loose end or a strand
that waits for you to mend or understand
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Conspiracy Friends!
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Dumm Comics
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Just finished my group presentation for my environmental science lab class.

One of my group members did essentially no work on her slides. We're presenting tomorrow and we had TWO WEEKS to do this.

Seriously, wtf.

My other group member did his, but I touched them up and did some editing. Besides his two slides, I had four of my own and three of the ones I did for the group member who procrastinated terribly.

I would say I did about 85% of this Powerpoint. >_>

I don't really care about dividing up the work equally. I just want to get an A. We're getting graded as a group, not individually, so I kind of had to do this.

-Sigh- She said she works until 11:30 PM. I can understand if she has limited time, but we had two weeks. Two whole weeks. To do this. Fourteen days. How could she not find the time to do what was like, probably half an hour of research and twenty minutes of typing and formatting? We didn't even have class (which is normally three hours long) last week. She could have done it during that time slot.

Luckily, in the other group presentation I have to do tomorrow for math, we didn't have anybody like that.

This is such a rant. I think I'm just annoyed because the last time we met (two weeks ago), she acted like she was the one who was going to be doing all the work. Like "don't mess this up for me guys, I need to get a good grade!" Not those exact words I mean, but that was the vibe I was getting.


Oh my god they have super long cuddly Ugly Dolls.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I want one! I could have a tall OX and a normal short OX. And my mini keychain OX. :3

I wish they had the super jumbo size of OX too. I've always wanted a huge stuffed animal.


Listening to "Toxicity" by System of a Down.

You! What, do you own the world?
How do you own disorder, disorder?

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Vernal equinox
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Today is the vernal equinox. The days will only get longer from here.

I have mixed feelings about this song.

I like the lyrics, but I'm hesitant to like the vocals.

Kind of hard to understand him, so, for reference:
I've been a liar, and I've been a thief
And now I don't think that is what I want to be
I'll do anything you want any old time
Oh yeah

Don't have any money
(Pockets are empty)
Don't have any looks,
(He is a dog)
Just borrowed pianos
(He's coming over)
That I can't hardly play.
(To use what he wants to)
I may have a pen somewhere, staff paper to.
I'm asking for it.

You need some more brandy
(Got a pack of cigarettes)
You need cocaine
(Give me more drugs)
You're in self-destruct mode
(I'm self-destructing)
Maybe it's the pain
(And hurting all over)
I don't need anything,
(Don't need nobody)
I just need you
(Nobody else)
You and I
It's all so shameful
You and I... it's all... it's a shame
(You're just another fool)

Here's one I like more solidly:

This Is a Broadcast by The Dears on Grooveshark

Stress from the end of the quarter is getting to me. I dreamt I was taking an English test at school and we were required to bring in big books to write in/about. I brought this huge heavy tome of stories I hadn't read, but which had a few blank pages at the front I could write my essay in. The professor told us we would have about half a page for each story we had to write on, and there would be six. Then she gave us a list of stories we could write on for the first section, and I hadn't read any of them. I wondered desperately how she expected us to read all of them in such a short time. The only one in the first list that looked familiar was a story called "The Crow", which I don't think was about crows at all, but instead a man trying to make sense of a tragedy that had happened to him.

By the time I had worked out what I was going to say, the professor was moving onto the next section of the test. Frustrated and unsure of what to do, I went outside into a shady garden that merged into some woods.

It was a very nice garden. There weren't really organized plants of any sort, just mossy mounds and trees and tiled paths leading off in different directions. The paths all connected at the center around an empty pond.

I wanted to stay there for longer but I had to go back to finish the test I was sure I was going to fail.

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Sunday, March 17, 2013
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Hair things, comic things [2P]
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Friday, March 15, 2013
I changed a baby for the first time today. You'd think, considering I've been working in a nursery for several months, that I'd have done it already by now, but nope, this was the first time.

So... that was something.

One of the babies that was being held by another nursery worker reached in my general direction today, and my coworker (feels weird calling her that) took that to mean the baby would rather be held by me. Well, I took him, and then he grabbed his cuddly blanket-frog thing out of his diaper bag. So... I don't know if he actually wanted to be held by me or he just wanted his frog.


I've been watching the gradual deterioration of a squirrel corpse on my bike route. It was fresh a few days ago, hardly looked like a car hit it at all. Now it's flattened and the head is gone and there are red innards protruding from the body.

I always feel sad when I see dead animals on the road. I wonder if the person who hit that squirrel even noticed.

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Wednesday, March 13, 2013
"Orgasmium is a homogeneous substance with limited consciousness, which is in a constant state of supreme bliss. An AI programmed to "maximize happiness" might simply tile the universe with orgasmium. Some who believe this consider it a good thing; others do not. Those who do not, use its undesirability to argue that not all terminal values reduce to "happiness" or some simple analogue."

Should happiness be our ultimate goal?

I haven't thought so for a long time. It's not one of my personal goals, at least.

This is just an interesting reason to back up how I've felt.

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Pluto unknown
Monday, March 11, 2013
Pluto is not a planet anymore, we've all known that for awhile...

Listening to "I'm Your Moon" by Jonathan Coulton just reminded me of it.

My kids won't know Pluto, will they? Is it being taken out of textbooks? Or will they still include it and just call it an ice dwarf? I just looked at the comments for the song on Youtube and apparently this has happened before. I'm not even sure why it matters-- technically they're just rocks, right? I guess it's just weird to grow up and have things you thought were facts change. It happens all the time, I suppose, but I don't know if I'll ever get entirely used to it.

They invented a reason
That's why it stings
They don't think you matter
Because you don't have pretty rings
I keep telling you I don't care
I keep saying there's one thing they can't change

I'm your moon
You're my moon
We go round and round
From out here, it's the rest of the world that looks so small
Promise me
You will always remember who you are

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Social day
Saturday, March 9, 2013
I saw a series of short films at the Cinequest Film Festival downtown with my friend Gwenny this morning. They were all decent, but I didn't think any of them were mindblowing. A couple left us wondering if they had really just ended them on the note they did. They held a Q&A after the showing where people could ask the filmmakers (and there was at least one actor) questions. It wasn't formal at all-- everyone was just standing in a wide circle as if we were a very large group of friends. I thought about asking how they go about casting people for roles where the character is supposed to be ugly, but I didn't. It's something I've often wondered about, though. I mean, do they just say "we're looking for people who are ugly" and some people come in and go "hey, that's me! I'm TOTALLY unattractive!" It just seems odd.

Originally we had intended to get brunch beforehand (the show was at 11 AM) and then see the films, but we got a late start so we ended up just buying some doughnuts at Psycho Donuts so we could get our parking validated and then covertly ate them in the theatre. I got a glazed buttermilk bar doughnut and a cinnamon and coconut topped one, and she got a banana bread one. I ate the buttermilk one before the show (it was delicious) and stowed the other one in my bag for later.

After the films we thought about getting lunch, but the doughnuts had filled us up so much that we decided to just get frozen yogurt instead. There was a place really close by so we sat in there and enjoyed it and talked about the films. I got chocolate and pistachio and had maraschino cherries and caramel turtles and mini peanut butter cups and sliced strawberries. :P

When we were done with our frozen yogurt she dropped me off at home and my friend Lucy came over a short while later. We walked over to an estate sale and I got a sci-fi anthology and twelve old photographs that had been made into postcards. I'm planning on using them as a writing prompt. Lucy got some cool little figurines and Isaac Asimov's "Nightfall and Other Stories". I only paid two dollars for what I got, so I was pretty pleased.

After we walked back to my house we sat on the couch and just talked about life, which was nice. I miss hanging out with my female friends and just chatting. Most of the time my boyfriend is the only person I see outside of school.

I told Lucy about how my boyfriend can be kind of close-minded at times, and I'm starting to think about how education has influenced that. He went to a really tiny high school (~50 people) and he hasn't really been through much college outside of a few computer science and business classes, so his worldview is kind of narrow. In contrast, I've taken tons and tons of college classes in a bunch of subjects and I think that's changed the way I see the world a lot. Beyond just not believing in an objective right and wrong anymore, I also tend to view things as just existing in separate spheres and being different instead of being "better" or "worse" than one another. For instance, to say one culture is better or worse than another is like saying an elephant is better than a flamingo. How can you compare those things? And what are you using as a basis for comparison? It was very hard to explain to my boyfriend how this works for me, and I'm not a good debater to begin with so I don't think I got my point across at all.

When I'm speaking out loud I'm not very focused and it's difficult for me to get my points across. I also trip over words and go blank and generally have a harder time with things than I do with writing or typing. On the one hand, it's much better for getting emotion-related connotations across, but on the other hand, I am pretty much just terrible at talking. (I also have a quiet speaking voice and slur my words together sometimes-- it's really not ideal) I think that written words are better for me personally if I have to debate something on a more rational level because I can be clearer and more focused. But yeah, anyway, I often find that I have an argument that goes badly because I don't know how to say what I want and when I later write it or type it out it's infinitely clearer. Kinda wish I was more balanced. -__-

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