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Almost Captain
Saturday. 8.18.07 2:45 pm
Swim team is refreshing. I enjoy the mindless exhaustion. I ran for captain, but I wasn't sure I really wanted to. Which is good, because I didn't get it.

Sometimes, I just don't understand people. Or maybe I just don't take the effort.

Maybe it's just because I expect people to be like me. To react like me. Ditsy people frustrate me beyond all reason. People who pretend to be different are bad, but it's even worse if they're pretending just for the sake of pretending.

I'm kind of a loner, at heart. I think. Maybe. I definitely like my peace and quiet, but I also like to get in on a party. But if I go to a party or something, and I can't get in on it, then all the talking starts to irritate me. I especially hate being on vans or buses with lots of talking people. Girls are usually the worst.

And what's the deal with random "What's up"? I mean, if you're going to talk to me, you'd better not just call me and say, "I'm bored. What're you doing?" You'd better have something at least a little important to say. Or entertaining. Because if you don't, then I'm just going to be sitting on the phone, listening to the freaking awkward silence, and mouthing out curse words while I make faces. I don't like being attached to people. That's basically the whole point of this rant.

Which brings me to another point. If I DO get attached to you, you would do well to respect those feelings. Because they don't come a lot at all.

I really hate to say this, because I know some people are going to read this and think I'm talking about them. I guess I'm just a jerk for thinking like this, but that's the truth.

*relief*

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On the Heart and Mind
Monday. 8.13.07 10:12 pm
This is totally coming off the top of my head. So if it's half-baked, wrong, or maybe too emotional (which is part of the point), that's why.

OK, well. I definitely have no idea how to start this. Time to jump.

So there's three parts to any human. Body, Mind, and Heart. I don't think a soul really plays into this essay or whatever, if you believe in it. Since I'm not really talking about sex, and the body doesn't make many decisions beyond that, we'll leave out the body, too.

Decision making. The heart and mind. Here's what I've deducted, which many might actually take for granted. Well, it's interesting to me.

There's quirks to everything; cons and pros, loss and profit, upsides and down. Let me count the good sides of the heart and mind.

The heart is hopeful and caring, among other things that are lost to my mind. Compassionate. The mind is almost the exact opposite. It's efficient, logical, and will come to a conclusion that makes sense, no matter what.

It's been widely understood, I think, that the mind and heart don't get along. They come to different conclusions. They disagree. In fact, people can simultaneously act on two different choices, and they just can't decide what choice to go with. It's silly.

I don't think it's possible to completely ignore your heart or mind, nor is it wise. You'd end up a crying buffoon or a cold monster. But you CAN weigh different decisions differently. They way I'd go about it is, go more by your heart than your head. Get as much out of life as you can. If it gets you in trouble, use your head to get out. Not literally, like in the movies. That's so lame.

Is it just me, or do I write kind of lop-sided? I might go back later and pull a good point out of this. In the meantime, can I get some responses? I miss them.

I need to write this stuff down when it comes to me. I just can't rely on my memory.

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Bored out of my lost mind
Thursday. 8.9.07 1:05 pm
Here's an awkward situation.



And while I'm at it, check this out.



OH! OH! Who here remembers when I made this?



Nobody commented my last post...except for silver dot! YAY DOTTY!

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To my dearest...
Wednesday. 8.8.07 12:54 pm
Sorry for the delay, my drooling fans. I got back from Isle of Palms beach with AJ on Sunday. My mom left on a work trip on Monday, so I've been almost living at a friend's house from up the street. Almost. I spend a lot of my free time here.

Which leads me to announce that I finally procured and read the last Harry Potter book. And I must say, with all the drama and suspense that was built up, the ending was almost...bland. I dunno. There were definitely enough plot twists to choke an educated horse, though. Which I appreciate. Keeps us on our toes, Rowling does.

Me and AJ "joined" a family reunion at the beach. We were in the pool, and there were randomly 20 or so people having a huge balancing fight on the rope dividing the deep end from the shallow. We couldn't decide if they had all just met and randomly became friends, or knew each other from previously. But we wanted in. Heh.

AJ- "Do you remember how we met Haley and Liz last year?"
Steve- "Not really. We just kind of...meet-ed with them."
"Didn't we shout at them that the current was pulling them over?"
"Oh, yeah. YOU'RE DRIFTING!"
(Both laugh)
"Stevie...where are you swimming? What are you doing?!"
"I'm meeting!"

Anyway, we hung out with two of the girls and their closer relations for the rest of the week. And I think one of them gave me swimmer's ear. Through the pool water, not ear sex. Don't worry.

I got very tan and only a little burned. The whole top layer of skin on my face felt tight when I got back, and the immense amount of chlorine in the water at the YMCA made it get flaky, so I scraped it off. Kind of like a lizard, but not as clean. Now my ears and parts of my shoulders are the only flaky parts of my body.

My neck has a crick in it from trying to type and keep the medicine in my ear at the same time.

Lateralus is a very long and very inspiring song. Sort of.

Yeah, the title was totally mis-leading. Catch you guys later.

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