Thursday. 8.23.07 10:38 pm
School started two days ago. So far, everything's great. None of my teachers have shown signs of being jerks, and I have lunch with a ton of my friends. The classes are all full of old and new buddies, some of which I haven't hung with since middle school. Physical Science is so far a breeze, mostly because of that book I was reading (and am still working on,) An Elegant Universe. I posted something about it here, it's about string theory. Very helpful.
Homework is already starting to pile up, but that's OK. The real killer is swim team. Practice right after school until 6, sometimes 7. Hard sets. Lots of technique and endurance building. The land drills are harder than I remember. I was in better shape second semester last year, apparently. Only a few laps totally kill me.
Not, of course, that I don't love it.
Girls at my school are so...I don't know. I can't think of anyone that I'd start a relationship with. Flirting is great. Conversation...is OK. Only a few closer female friends really converse with me. Which is cool.
Some of my friends are already ready for summer again. I can't imagine.
Monday. 8.20.07 9:32 am
I take naps all the time. Yesterday, I saw so bored I took an hour long nap ending at 5:30 pm. No bid deal.
I then proceeded to stay up until 3:20 am.
Stupid. Beyond stupid. I pulled a K-fed last night.
Which doesn't necessarily mean I married or made babies.
I swear to (ya'll), I was laying on my makeshift bed until at least 5. I have to swim this week, PLUS school starts Wednesday.I'm wiped. I was only woken up when my mom called obnoxiously and repeatedly.
Oh, wait. I said School.
Man, I'm starved.
Saturday. 8.18.07 2:45 pm
Swim team is refreshing. I enjoy the mindless exhaustion. I ran for captain, but I wasn't sure I really wanted to. Which is good, because I didn't get it.
Sometimes, I just don't understand people. Or maybe I just don't take the effort.
Maybe it's just because I expect people to be like me. To react like me. Ditsy people frustrate me beyond all reason. People who pretend to be different are bad, but it's even worse if they're pretending just for the sake of pretending.
I'm kind of a loner, at heart. I think. Maybe. I definitely like my peace and quiet, but I also like to get in on a party. But if I go to a party or something, and I can't get in on it, then all the talking starts to irritate me. I especially hate being on vans or buses with lots of talking people. Girls are usually the worst.
And what's the deal with random "What's up"? I mean, if you're going to talk to me, you'd better not just call me and say, "I'm bored. What're you doing?" You'd better have something at least a little important to say. Or entertaining. Because if you don't, then I'm just going to be sitting on the phone, listening to the freaking awkward silence, and mouthing out curse words while I make faces. I don't like being attached to people. That's basically the whole point of this rant.
Which brings me to another point. If I DO get attached to you, you would do well to respect those feelings. Because they don't come a lot at all.
I really hate to say this, because I know some people are going to read this and think I'm talking about them. I guess I'm just a jerk for thinking like this, but that's the truth.
On the Heart and Mind
Monday. 8.13.07 10:12 pm
This is totally coming off the top of my head. So if it's half-baked, wrong, or maybe too emotional (which is part of the point), that's why.
OK, well. I definitely have no idea how to start this. Time to jump.
So there's three parts to any human. Body, Mind, and Heart. I don't think a soul really plays into this essay or whatever, if you believe in it. Since I'm not really talking about sex, and the body doesn't make many decisions beyond that, we'll leave out the body, too.
Decision making. The heart and mind. Here's what I've deducted, which many might actually take for granted. Well, it's interesting to me.
There's quirks to everything; cons and pros, loss and profit, upsides and down. Let me count the good sides of the heart and mind.
The heart is hopeful and caring, among other things that are lost to my mind. Compassionate. The mind is almost the exact opposite. It's efficient, logical, and will come to a conclusion that makes sense, no matter what.
It's been widely understood, I think, that the mind and heart don't get along. They come to different conclusions. They disagree. In fact, people can simultaneously act on two different choices, and they just can't decide what choice to go with. It's silly.
I don't think it's possible to completely ignore your heart or mind, nor is it wise. You'd end up a crying buffoon or a cold monster. But you CAN weigh different decisions differently. They way I'd go about it is, go more by your heart than your head. Get as much out of life as you can. If it gets you in trouble, use your head to get out. Not literally, like in the movies. That's so lame.
Is it just me, or do I write kind of lop-sided? I might go back later and pull a good point out of this. In the meantime, can I get some responses? I miss them.
I need to write this stuff down when it comes to me. I just can't rely on my memory.
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