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Memores acti prudentes futuri


This life of games and diligent trust
the things we do and the things we must
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
Dreamings
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Everyone gives him their name, except for me. I'm shy, I don't feel comfortable letting him know what my real name is.

It turns out that my shyness is my savior, because once he has their names, he has complete power over them. He has us come over one by one, to make sure he has control. I play along, so he won't suspect anything. I have to move like them, I have to have the same blank stare as them as he instructs us.

I can't tell if we're in a normal classroom or Hell. Everything looks warm, but it doesn't feel like it.

He takes out a small stapler and begins pushing the staples into a girl's face. Her skin stretches and sags, and it swells and almost looks like it's melting. The staples he's putting in her are destroying the nerves under her skin or something like that. She's standing perfectly still, and it's horrifying to watch, but I don't know what to do.

---

The teacher tells us she's just going to give out the answers to the test and then come back later. The test won't be graded, she says. I don't feel right about looking at the answers, but everyone else copies them eagerly.

The first answer is "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ"... I write it down in the blank space below the question before my unease prevents me from writing the others.

When she comes back, it turns out she tricked us. She grades all the tests, and many people get negative scores... I get a 6 out of 25, which is sadly one of the higher scores. The first question, when I look at it, says:

"What letter comes next? A B C D _"

I realize the idiocy of my mistake and smack myself for not reading the questions more closely.

Comment! (4) | Recommend!

My parents
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Mom: Oh, uh, PAMF called to make sure you were doing okay.
Dad: Were you talking to me?
Mom: Yeah, PAMF called to check up on you.
Dad: Oh, the medical center?
Mom: Yeah.
Dad: "I'm sorry, he died."

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Uff
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Feeling conflicted. Again. Surprise surprise.



I'm not... doing things right. But I can't want to do them right. I've hit almost total apathy and I just don't care, although I'm near certain I will regret these things later on.

Besides that, I think I will be participating in a study soon. They tell me they don't see any reason I shouldn't be eligible for it, based on a few psychiatric interviews. The only problem is that I don't have a formal diagnosis/medical record of depression. I haven't really ever seen a psychiatrist except for that one time at St. John's, and that dude just ran through a checklist real fast and told me I should consider medication. Whatevs, man.

I never used to have any issues with taking meds. But then, y'know, I heard so much about how they can change you, make you a different person... Take away your feeling, sometimes. If I don't have any feeling right now anyway, I don't know if it'd matter.

(Side note: I'm usually an INFP, but I test as an INTJ when I'm this apathetic. Very weird.)

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

Blood
Saturday, December 17, 2011
I just signed into my account at the Stanford Blood Center. In the top left corner, there's a thing that says what your blood type is.

Mine is B+. My first thought when I glanced at that was "WHAT DID I DO WRONG?"

So now I feel kind of stupid for getting my blood type mixed up with my grades.

It's kind of weird to see my health history on the blood donation site. My last donation was in June, so it's been awhile since I donated, but a few things have changed noticeably. :S

Cholesterol:
June: 176
December: 193 (Wtf??? This is close to the cutoff level for being too high)

Pulse:
June: 76
December: 66 (I'm not sure if this is good or bad?)

Blood pressure:
June: 118/70
December: 102/78 (The woman who measured this said it seemed really low?)

Granted, when I donated a few days ago I hadn't really eaten or drunk, nor slept very much, but would that have affected my numbers that much...? I don't know a lot about these things. :/

Besides that, I'm feeling kind of restless and... unhappy? Irritable? I'm not sure, but it's not good.

---

In other news, I hear the Iraq war is over. So... that's something. Are we out of Afghanistan as well? The article I read didn't specify. But anyway... um... yay? I'm not sure what this will mean for the U.S. Those veterans are going to have a hard time finding jobs...

---

I don't know why I'm feeling like this but I really want to punch someone in the face.

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More pictures already?! [2P]
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

Comment! (4) | Recommend!

I have been neglecting my camera [DP]
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

Comment! (3) | Recommend!

6:40 AM
Monday, December 12, 2011
Time to LISTEN TO DISCO.

BA DE YA, SAY DO YOU REMEMBER
BA DE YA, DANCING IN SEPTEMBER
BA DE YA, NEVER WAS A CLOUDY DAYYY

I don't know what's going on with my moods. I've been feeling like complete crap the past few days and I don't so far today. It's not even seven yet. I guess my mood might drop by the end of the day, though. We'll see. For now... more of this.

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H T
Sunday, December 11, 2011


Maybe if I drink enough happy tea I won't do something I regret.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

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