Hahahahahahahahahahaha.


China is blocking my blog spaces.


Cruud.


I'm going to go insane writing on WordPad.

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watching: The computer screen and my fingers typing.
listening to: My jaw disloacted from yawning.
mood: Eh.


It's 3:55AM, the day before we go to China. At this time tomorrow, I will be preparing for my trek across my big ocean, all the way to the other side of the world.

I am not very excited.

Mostly because I'd rather stay here and go to the pool with my friends. I mean, it's no offense meant towards Mike. I love the dude, for he IS my brother. But hello. China?

Now, it doesn't sound too great to go and check things out. I could totally use the cash for the ticket to go to Paris, or something. I've always WANTED to go to Paris.

And suddenly I'm exhausted. Yawn.

Probably my last entry for two weeks.

Night.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I'm veeeeeerrry tired. Just got off the phone with Stevie, but still don't think I can sleep. Lately, I've been completely nocturnal, making it hard for me to go to school and still leave with a passing grade. I need at least in eighty on both my math and global studies exams to pass with a B, which is my ideal, if not an A.

It's hard, though. I'll tell you that. Even though it's just high school, not the real world. There are so many expectations still on me, to be better than my brother, exceed further and quicker. I'm starting to believe that humans only have second babies as machines to erase the first baby's mistakes and correct them with complete perfection.Like a BetterClone, one-upping First Baby until its meaning is obscure and meaningless next to Second Baby.

I'm so rambling, but I must wonder if Mike ever thought anything about this. Since my mom always supported the things HE did, first, instead of my original talents. I may draw realistic human beings, and I may get published in minor things for my writing, but she still misses the way I played violin (and that was a year ago)?

It's hard to understand.

Maybe I'm just delirious. I certainly am dizzy.

Argh.

Sighing off.

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