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Memores acti prudentes futuri

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no surprise, no mystery
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Pluto unknown
Monday, March 11, 2013
Pluto is not a planet anymore, we've all known that for awhile...

Listening to "I'm Your Moon" by Jonathan Coulton just reminded me of it.

My kids won't know Pluto, will they? Is it being taken out of textbooks? Or will they still include it and just call it an ice dwarf? I just looked at the comments for the song on Youtube and apparently this has happened before. I'm not even sure why it matters-- technically they're just rocks, right? I guess it's just weird to grow up and have things you thought were facts change. It happens all the time, I suppose, but I don't know if I'll ever get entirely used to it.

They invented a reason
That's why it stings
They don't think you matter
Because you don't have pretty rings
I keep telling you I don't care
I keep saying there's one thing they can't change

I'm your moon
You're my moon
We go round and round
From out here, it's the rest of the world that looks so small
Promise me
You will always remember who you are

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Social day
Saturday, March 9, 2013
I saw a series of short films at the Cinequest Film Festival downtown with my friend Gwenny this morning. They were all decent, but I didn't think any of them were mindblowing. A couple left us wondering if they had really just ended them on the note they did. They held a Q&A after the showing where people could ask the filmmakers (and there was at least one actor) questions. It wasn't formal at all-- everyone was just standing in a wide circle as if we were a very large group of friends. I thought about asking how they go about casting people for roles where the character is supposed to be ugly, but I didn't. It's something I've often wondered about, though. I mean, do they just say "we're looking for people who are ugly" and some people come in and go "hey, that's me! I'm TOTALLY unattractive!" It just seems odd.

Originally we had intended to get brunch beforehand (the show was at 11 AM) and then see the films, but we got a late start so we ended up just buying some doughnuts at Psycho Donuts so we could get our parking validated and then covertly ate them in the theatre. I got a glazed buttermilk bar doughnut and a cinnamon and coconut topped one, and she got a banana bread one. I ate the buttermilk one before the show (it was delicious) and stowed the other one in my bag for later.

After the films we thought about getting lunch, but the doughnuts had filled us up so much that we decided to just get frozen yogurt instead. There was a place really close by so we sat in there and enjoyed it and talked about the films. I got chocolate and pistachio and had maraschino cherries and caramel turtles and mini peanut butter cups and sliced strawberries. :P

When we were done with our frozen yogurt she dropped me off at home and my friend Lucy came over a short while later. We walked over to an estate sale and I got a sci-fi anthology and twelve old photographs that had been made into postcards. I'm planning on using them as a writing prompt. Lucy got some cool little figurines and Isaac Asimov's "Nightfall and Other Stories". I only paid two dollars for what I got, so I was pretty pleased.

After we walked back to my house we sat on the couch and just talked about life, which was nice. I miss hanging out with my female friends and just chatting. Most of the time my boyfriend is the only person I see outside of school.

I told Lucy about how my boyfriend can be kind of close-minded at times, and I'm starting to think about how education has influenced that. He went to a really tiny high school (~50 people) and he hasn't really been through much college outside of a few computer science and business classes, so his worldview is kind of narrow. In contrast, I've taken tons and tons of college classes in a bunch of subjects and I think that's changed the way I see the world a lot. Beyond just not believing in an objective right and wrong anymore, I also tend to view things as just existing in separate spheres and being different instead of being "better" or "worse" than one another. For instance, to say one culture is better or worse than another is like saying an elephant is better than a flamingo. How can you compare those things? And what are you using as a basis for comparison? It was very hard to explain to my boyfriend how this works for me, and I'm not a good debater to begin with so I don't think I got my point across at all.

When I'm speaking out loud I'm not very focused and it's difficult for me to get my points across. I also trip over words and go blank and generally have a harder time with things than I do with writing or typing. On the one hand, it's much better for getting emotion-related connotations across, but on the other hand, I am pretty much just terrible at talking. (I also have a quiet speaking voice and slur my words together sometimes-- it's really not ideal) I think that written words are better for me personally if I have to debate something on a more rational level because I can be clearer and more focused. But yeah, anyway, I often find that I have an argument that goes badly because I don't know how to say what I want and when I later write it or type it out it's infinitely clearer. Kinda wish I was more balanced. -__-

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Thank you everyone
Friday, March 8, 2013
Once again I am very grateful for the support and caring of this community.

I guess things are okay for now.

Still hesitant about how to proceed.

Nothing has really been worked out, but at least I feel better.

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Thursday, March 7, 2013
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Black squirrels
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
A couple of black squirrels have become regular customers in my house's back patio and come up to the door for peanuts. One of them will even follow my dad around on the patio. We get some grey squirrels too but they tend to be grabby and I don't like them very much.

Anyway, I decided to Google "black squirrels" and this image came up:

I thought it was funny.

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Green cemeteries
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
So, I'm not super green or anything, but I try to be environmentally conscious in small ways. When possible I buy organic, and I've attempted to cut down on my plastic waste a bit. I only use cold water when I wash my clothes. Nothing really extreme.

I also don't drive, but I don't really think of that as an effort to be environmentally friendly because my reasons for that don't have much to do with the environment. I just don't like cars.

Anyway, I found out today about green cemeteries. I absolutely love the idea of it. It's always seemed weird to me that we have cemeteries where we make it as hard as possible for any actual decomposition to happen, what with embalming and these big elaborate caskets. I mean, admittedly, if you had asked me on a random day before now what I thought some very environmentally unfriendly practices were, I probably wouldn't have thought of burials, but they actually are for the majority of people. It takes a lot of water and maintenance to keep cemeteries looking so clean and er... well, green in the sense that the grass is alive.

I guess the cemetery my grandparents are buried in in Hawaii might not use as much water because it's got a different type of grass, but most of the ones I've seen (admittedly not that many, maybe three or four?) have lawns that need watering.

But yeah, with a green cemetery you're taking away the stuff that's unnatural and bad for the environment as much as possible. You can still do a casket, but it won't be those solid kinds that look like they cost over a thousand dollars and won't rot for a century. The one closest to me looks like it's Fernwood Cemetery, where you can engrave small boulders instead of having tombstones, or not even have a marker. They do GPS stuff to help find burial sites. :0

Oh yeah, and green burials can be a LOT cheaper because you're not paying for all that embalming and fancy casket and stuff.

I definitely didn't expect to get excited about the prospect of my own funeral today, haha, but this does seem pretty cool.


By the way I finally changed it so that it's actually possible to see links in my entries without hovering over them. My code was all messed up and I had no idea for the longest time until I tried to change it just now. >.> Now active links are the fine shade of kiwi to be more visible, though they still turn maroon when you hover over them. I went with the fabulous "gray42" for visited links.

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Lip stuff and other pictures
Monday, March 4, 2013
My lips get really horribly dry sometimes. For the most part I've just been using Blistex ointment on them, because since it's thin it actually moisturizes them instead of just putting a layer of whatever on top. I was doing that and then putting other chapstick type things on top, which wasn't working very well but was the best I could do until I found something else to try.

Went to Target yesterday and ended up buying one of those eos lip balms I've seen but never tried before. They come in little round things that look like normal lip balm pots, but you don't have to use your fingers, which is nice.

Here's a not very good picture I took with my phone:

Anyway, I was super surprised, because this has been working out amazingly for me. It's possible that it's totally a coincidence and the air has just gotten less dry or something, but like, my lips aren't on the verge of cracking anymore. Definitely worth the extra dollar fifty or whatever, in my opinion.

I'm getting a horrible amount of freckles on my lips and face, which is possibly due to use of products containing petrolatum... I've read that it makes your skin more sensitive, so that if you don't use enough sun protection it will get damaged more easily. I never used to get freckles on my lips (don't remember ever having anything before college), so maybe it's related? Dunno. It's a bit hard to find lip balms without petrolatum if you're just looking in a normal store, and they tend to cost more (no surprise there). Honestly I'd rather pay a little bit more and not be plagued with freckles, even if my boyfriend thinks my freckles are cute or not very noticeable.

I have some other pictures to share...

Part of a picture from a different Ethiopian restaurant we tried. It was depicting how coffee production works in Ethiopia, I assume.

There's a cute little ice cream shop in Japantown that had one wall totally dedicated to George Takei. I got a picture of the action figure they had.

I think there was a sign somewhere else in the store that said they would display different prominent Japanese figures to honor them on that wall.

Just thought this was pretty.

Some pictures from the most recent hike I took with my Environmental Science Lab class.

One from the trail.

On Friday I went hiking with my friend Gabe for about three and a half hours at the Stevens Creek Reservoir. That place is HUGE. We got lost and had to walk along the road around the park for awhile to find our way back.

A picture of the reservoir:

There was a ton of wood washed up on the banks.

We also found what appeared to be a scrapyard.

And apparently they dump a lot of the wood from the banks there too.

I finally bought Breakfast With Abductees after having a clip from it as my text tone for three years. The movie Sven van Hees sampled in it has kind of a gross plot, but now I'm somewhat curious about it. Has anybody here seen The Last Sunset?

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Good ol' hoarder habits
Sunday, March 3, 2013
I'm not really a hoarder. I do enjoy cleaning stuff out every now and then, when I get around to it.

This isn't about physical stuff, though. Just got my computer up and running again, and it messed up my iTunes so that I only had my iTunes library as it was in April of last year. I have NO idea why.

BUT, it just so happens that I still had the CopyTrans Manager program in my Downloads folder (which I never clean out), and of course I had saved the email with the activation code in it from that time my external hard drive crashed like two and a half years ago. Yayyyy.

I'm doing a backup from my iPod right now. It's kinda weird, though.

That's even worse than the normal Windows time estimates.

Now that my computer's working again, I can transfer the pictures from my phone to here. Of course, I am far too lazy to do that right now, but I'll post them in the future.

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