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I accused the wrong person for being fucked up about "liking" Jacob's status change.

I looked at it again today and it's his aunt's name ... not his mom's.

Granted Shelly and Sharon could look the same at a glance, especially since they both have the same last name.

But now I feel like shit because I got really upset about his mom being a horribly emotionless bitch and she wasn't.

I still think it's fucked up to like something like that, but I don't care much about his aunt like I do his mom.

Fuck ... I really need to de-stress.

This shit sucks.

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I'm so tired of searching for an apartment. I wish something affordable, reasonably sized and with the amenities I desire would just fall in to my lap. I have been searching various websites for apartments, mostly Craigslist. I've even widened my price range and still nothing promising. I'm willing to live on Ramen noodles for the next year if it means having to pay a little more for a place, but I can only afford so much.

What I truly wish for is for Jacob to have some kind of epiphany and decide that us even getting a two bedroom would be alright when it comes to having space. But he wants to be completely alone. And having a stranger as a roommate, apparently, still counts as being alone. Basically he wants to be able to come home and be ignored. I wouldn't do that. I would still ask him how his day went.

I want to talk him in to it, but if I were to even bring it up, it would only push him to want his own place more. If he sees that I'm trying to be independent of him, then maybe he'll see that I can live with him and be my own person. It'll take more than a month to prove, though. Which is all the time we have left on our lease before moving out.

So at this point, I really just want a good deal to just come to me. I'm so sick of looking. See, I've gotten some promising leads, but then something comes up that kills it. For example, I found a decent sized studio {500sqft} for a little over $500/month in an area that's not far from where I want to live. The deal breaker? There is no washer/dryer in the unit, nor is there a laundry facility on site. "There's a laundromat about 10 minutes from the apartment." And that's a 10 minute drive, not walk. Regardless, I'm not going to leave my complex to do my laundry. I would rather not leave my apartment at all to do my laundry, but I'm willing to sacrifice because the odds of getting a cheap apartment with a washer/dryer in unit are really, really slim.

If you ever live with someone, make sure you're both in it for the long run. This whole process is bullshit.

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... for the simple fact that there is a "like" button.

People really should learn how to use that button before pressing it.

As some of you read in the last entry, granted you know the password, Jacob and I broke up.

Well, in this society, social shit is run on Facebook and, of course, nothing is official until it's done on Facebook.

Jacob and I both changed our relationship statuses from "engaged" to "single" {I was reluctant to do so, but it had to be done.}

JACOB'S MOM PRESSED THE FUCKING "LIKE" BUTTON ON HIS STATUS CHANGE!!!!!

How FUCKED UP do you have to be to ENJOY the fact that someone is no longer with the person that they've claimed to love for the last so many years?!?!?!?!

I'm so pissed right now. Fuck Facebook. Fuck Jacob's mom. Fuck it all.

{EDIT} So I talked to Jacob about it and he found it fucked up as well. So much so that he actually called his mom at 12:30 in the morning to talk to her about it. She apologized and said she didn't know she had hit the "like" button. And she doesn't know how to undo it. The break up, though it was Jacob's choice, is hard on both of us. He still loves me and doesn't want to see me hurt, but this separation is necessary right now. It really sucks. Even though I don't have friends that I can actually go hang out with, I'm glad I have friends that are willing to listen to me and be there for me if I'm having a tough day. That includes you guys. Thank you for all the comments. It's really appreciated.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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