The history midterm I've been stressing over for awhile was today.

Surprisingly it was not panic-inducingly difficult. I don't know how she'll grade the essay portion of it though. Fingers crossed? :\

I'm trying to remember what I dreamt last night.

There was a building... it was on its own platform branching off of a pier set right on top of the water. The top of the pier was only perhaps six inches from the surface of the water, which felt both like a lake and the sea at once. The building was tall, and grey, with a couple crates along the edge of one of the sides. I walked around it, idly wandering, then looked at the water beyond the pier.

It was calm, calm to the point of looking like glass, it was so smooth. There was some sort of creature slumped over the middle of this boat... or was it a raft? Well, watercraft of some sort. I walked over to it out of curiosity. The creature looked a bit like a large dog, that shaggy kind with the fur that grows over its eyes, but it was light grey and had smooth skin like a seal. Its head faced away from me.

I said "hello?" tentatively, and it-- he-- told me he had been there so long, and hadn't seen anybody in that time. He controlled the ship, he told me, but it had been so long since anybody had accompanied him... He felt rusty. I offered to ride along, since I had nothing else to do. That seemed to breathe a bit of life into him, and he told me he would take me somewhere.

We glided through the water, barely rippling it, and reached a house built on stilts as it was getting dark. There were platforms with stairs leading up to it, so I climbed up to look around. I got the impression that I was going to live there, with the creature, for some time.

He told me he was going to leave to get some things, and I assumed I would wait there for him. He was having trouble getting his craft to move though, and when I walked over to look, he was a man... I was standing on the highest platform, the one that supported the house, overlooking the smaller platforms leading down to the ship/dock, and I held onto one of the beams supporting the overhang, and called down words of encouragement. His vessel started working, and he smiled at me and left. I felt a peculiar sense of closeness to him...

The feeling of this world was kind of strange. It was very empty, but calm, always late afternoon hovering on the edge of night. The sky was always cloudy, but I knew it wouldn't rain. And there was no sun.

I don't think there was anything below the water, either. It was inconceivable, the idea of something below that glassy surface. All I knew was that I could not touch the water, and I had no desire to.

Yeah...

I'm very sleepy.

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I should really do a better job of posting pictures with their relevant entries. Oh well.

Rented my psych book off of Chegg and this notice came with it:


Dill pickle soup! And some bread because why not.

I don't actually like to eat bread with soup in the dipping sense, but I was going to eat the bread anyway so it's in the picture.

Modcloth sent me this cute box.


Maybe hard to see since this picture is small, but there are some bobby pins with decorative buttons glued onto them on top of the dress I ordered.

I don't know how to use bobby pins so uh... I'm not sure what I'll do with them.

I made mac and cheese with broccoli today.

It tastes... like it usually tastes, except with broccoli. So, pretty good I guess.

Woke up at 6:03 this morning with my right leg/hip hurting. I tried to sleep on my other side to make it stop, and then the pain switched to the left side. >_> Not sure what was up with that. Time of the month though, so maybe my body's just being all wacky. I dunno. This is starting to bug me. For awhile stuff was pretty predictable and stable and now it's like my body's getting bored and deciding to mix things up. "Lower back pain? Haven't tried that yet, it sounds fun!"

>:C

Admittedly though I did have it pretty nice before. Cramps only on the first day, although they could be cripplingly strong sometimes. Could always be alleviated with Midol. Short period overall. Or well, it was mostly. And then it got to be so predictable that I could expect when the next one would start.

But, alas, it was not meant to stay.

A few days ago or maybe it was weeks I honestly have no idea, I got this sample pad in the mail.

I'm kind of confused, because the panel on the right has this thing about how "1 in 4 women experience bladder control problems." Shouldn't that be a statistic on like, an adult diaper package? Or do people use pads as like, the precursor to adult diapers? I'm not really sure how to take that. It doesn't seem related to menstruation, unless some people just... develop bladder control problems during their periods. Is that a thing? I don't really want to look it up.

I've realized that I am like 100% more productive when I don't turn on my computer. Otherwise I get sucked into the internet and all that and I'm like "oh no it is 11:47 PM how did this come about I have not nearly completed the tasks I thought I would today."

Not in those exact words but you know.

I keep having to read old documents from the 1800s for history and it's messing with my English.

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Went to bed late last night, after 3 AM I think...

I get up, at the latest, at 8 AM on weekdays, so I didn't get much sleep. -__-

So, it's possible that my personal experience is totally outside the norm, but I keep reading blogs where girls complain that guys aren't serious and dance around being in relationships, and I can't help but think "I have never encountered this."

Generally the complaint is something like "guys won't commit, they only want sex" or "we date indefinitely and it's unclear/ambiguous whether we're in a relationship" etc. Admittedly I have very limited dating experience, and I'm not really active in the social scene (as far as clubbing/partying goes), but is that actually representative of people my age...? Have I, just by freak chance, managed to meet guys who all wanted to be in a relationship with me right off the bat? Or is this more a case of a few people in the minority making complaints while the majority is silent? I have no idea.

Sometimes I wonder if it's a personality thing. I don't drink, do drugs, or party, so maybe I seem more like the "settle down" type (which... okay, would be an accurate judgement). Maybe the kind of guys I attract are the ones who are interested in forming serious relationships. -Shrug-

I also can't recall a time I was actually formally asked out by someone, unless you count in seventh grade when the guy who sat next to me leaned over and said "do you want to go see Scooby Doo 2 with me?" I always thought I was just hanging out with my first boyfriend until he suddenly told his mom I was his girlfriend over the phone one night. Second boyfriend, we were just hanging out and then it was like "whoops we are in an intimate setting how did this happen, okay let's date I guess," and with my current boyfriend he kinda just made some awkward moves and I thought it was funny so I told him we could try dating.

...Okay, nevermind, after reading all that I'm pretty sure I have just had fairly abnormal experiences. I guess this is a fairly pointless entry, but I'll leave it up anyway. Maybe some of you find it interesting to see my thought processes. >_>

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1. Stayed up videochatting until 5 AM
2. Slept until 1 PM
3. Read history textbook
4. Slept until 6 PM
5. Made roasted potatoes
6. Read more history

My boyfriend was supposed to come over today to help me study for my history midterm, but I ended up sleeping so much that it's probably better he didn't come over.

I'm listening to The Breakfast Machine... I think it's always going to remind me of an old attraction they used to have at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. It was a scary fun house painted bright yellow inside that had a huge clown figure around the entrance.

I only ever went in there once, with one of my friends in sixth grade. People would jump out at you and air blew at you from hidden pipes while you walked through. It was certainly enough to scare me at age 11, and I kept yelling "stop it!" at the people who jumped out at us while my friend laughed. Even though I can't say I enjoyed the attraction all that much, I do have some nostalgia for it, and I used to like just standing outside listening to the music. I actually don't know if they music they played was even really The Breakfast Machine-- it could have been some other creepy fun house-sounding song.

I haven't been to the Boardwalk in a long time. I need to go there when it starts to get warmer.

---Edit---

I'm pretty sure I've posted this song before. The video is terrible. The lyrics are terrible. And yet I can't help but love it.

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I'm surprised by how little trouble I've been having coming up with things to say in the daily entry for the challenge. I'm also enjoying reading everyone else's entries this month. It's fun to see what you all post when you're going for a post a day! I know some people only post every once in awhile to highlight something significant, so it's cool to see the more daily aspect of people's lives.

My writing group meeting was fun! Unfortunately the woman who is usually our organizer/coordinator didn't feel well and couldn't come, so we ended up not talking about writing the entire time, but it was enjoyable. It turned out that none of us had eaten dinner (the meeting was at 7 PM), so we walked over to a restaurant and had half of our meeting while eating. My boyfriend surprised us by picking up the tab. :) There were only four of us total, so it wasn't a huge amount of money, but it was still very generous of him.

Last night I expressed doubts to my boyfriend that he really ever would take me to New York, like he promised he would. He told me that if his work wouldn't let him take a week off to take me there, he would just find a new job, and that he was just waiting to save up enough money to go and it wasn't an issue of time.

I know I talk about him a lot (too much?) on here, but he's so amazing sometimes I feel like I can't help myself. Also he's the only person I hang out with outside of my family 90% of the time, so that probably factors in. :P

Lucy should be coming here soon to meet up with me and my boyfriend for lunch, so I should probably end this entry. We're going to the baylands! Fun times.

---Edit---

Welp, Lucy canceled, or I should say told me she couldn't come after I texted her asking if she was coming over. >_>

And after reading Nuttz's post I remembered that at the restaurant last night this old asian lady who looked like she might be blind in one eye came over to our table to wish us a happy Chinese New Year. Somehow she ended up talking about different foods they eat during it and things her family did/does. It kind of made me wonder. I got the impression that she might be lonely and wanted to talk to people, but it's possible she just wanted to chat. She seemed kind of old to be working there during the closing shift... I'm not sure what she was, either. Not a server, I think, but maybe she was busing tables/cleaning? I hope she's not one of those elderly people who have no one to support them and have to work low skill jobs just to keep afloat. :\

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...if a tiny dwarf is crawling up onto my bed at night and whacking my ankles with something hard.

Frickin' hurts. There aren't even any bruises, they just hurt. I'm not sure what's going on.

I stayed up past 2 AM last night... er... this morning... videochatting with a friend on Skype. He showed me this story that an acquaintance of his wrote in eighth grade. It is basically the most psychopathic piece of fiction I've ever read. From the looks of it, this dude learned about Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini and thought "Those are some cool guys! I wanna be like them!" It was a VERY disturbing story...

Nowadays he's, amazingly, probably not a serial killer. He is supposedly a born-again Christian, but beyond that I don't know much about him.

---

In other news, I went to Mimi's Cafe for lunch with my parents today, and all their forks had only three tines. >:(

Three tined forks are gross. They look like alien hands and basically I hate them. It's like when cartoon characters only have four fingers, except in real life. The spaces between the tines are just too big and they're not good and just AJFLKFHASKFSFJALSFJGHLJGHFA.

I have a writing group meeting today.

Also, I reread my old random stories last night when I was talking to my friend. I don't remember thinking they were that funny when I wrote them, but in hindsight... they're pretty amusing. It was kind of a pain to find them though, since I deleted the module that used to list my writings awhile ago.

I've been eating toast with goat cheese on it the past couple days. Mmmm. It leaves a goaty flavor in my mouth though, which is less enjoyable.

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Math is stupid.

I think I would prefer it if we didn't have to use graphing calculators. Honestly, out of everything that's happened in the class, that's the part I actually have problems with, since I have a TI-86 and the class uses a TI-84. Urghhh.

Some pictures...

The magical drink making machine at my boyfriend's workplace:


"BLACK HOMELESS STUDENT SEEKING DEBBIE FOR ROOMATE"

It has list spots for "HER NAME" and "HER ADDRESS"

"STUDENT HOMELESS SEEKING FREE ROOM AN BOARD WITH SUSAN with female's prefer"


"BLACK HOMELESS STUDENT SEEKING SUSAN or MISSISSIPPI for FREE RM an board"


I bought a hot apple cider and for some reason they put cinnamon sticks in it.

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I'm listening to The Mentalist by Splitsville. It doesn't have much to do with the rest of the entry.


Returning again to that old idea about singing along together...

My boyfriend is, I'm pretty sure, the worst singer I've ever heard. It's not so much that his voice is horrible, it's more like... if he had to sing a song in tune or die, he would definitely die. Definitely.

Last night in the car as we drove around trying to find SOMETHING in this city that's open past 9 PM, I was playing my iPod through the car's speakers and singing along to "Very Busy People" by The Limousines softly. Still had the remnants of bronchitis clogging up my throat. He turned to me and said I was a "surprisingly good singer" and that he likes it when I sing. We've talked about this before... I can't remember if I've posted about it though. There are a couple of songs I've sung along to in full around him before, one of them being "If I Had a Million Dollars" by The Barenaked Ladies.

I think he's the only person I really feel comfortable singing around.

---

This is probably just me, but I can't really listen to Queen's "We Are the Champions" without getting very specific sad vibes from it. As if it's being sung by someone who is struggling but has been surviving and is just trying to reassure themselves that they can keep hanging on. A lie told to keep life going.

Especially the "No time for losers" line... It always comes off as "No time for losers, you have to keep forcing yourself to continue or you'll be left behind by the world." A pep talk that someone is giving to themselves, but despite the attempts to mask the doubt, the desperation, it's seeping through.

I'm 99.9% sure this vibe I get is just me projecting onto the song, but you'd think it would go away at some point. And strangely enough, I don't get the same vibe from Jonathan Coulton's cover of the song, even though his music often intentionally has a sad slant. o_O

---

Here's my piece: Loveless

The title is fitting, but it's also just the name of the prompt because I didn't feel like giving it a unique title.

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