So ... I left a few comments, but I didn't do what I thought I would. I figured since I had nearly two weeks off, I would have time to write and read and comment. That ended up not being the case. Between going out with my friends, sleeping and becoming addicted to Bones, I wasn't present on the 'Tang as often as I had originally projected that I would.

School starts back up tomorrow and oddly enough, I feel I will actually have more to talk about, though I'm not sure I'll have more time. Only reason I have time right now is beause I'm at work and I've got some down time.

I have a feeling that I've acquired my first allergy, though to what I have no idea. My nose has been stuffy the last few days and I've been feeling slightly under the weather, but not enough to actually feel sick. Then again, it might just be the early stages of a cold. I can still breathe through my nose, but my throat is getting sore. It almost feels like there's a lump in my throat and although I can swallow just fine, there are times when I feel like I'm choking. You know how when you have a dry spot in your throat and your eyes well up with tears because you feel like you're choking and can't breate, but can swallow just fine? Yeah, imagine that feeling for the last 24 hours. If it doesn't get any better, I might invest in some throat lozenges.

Anywho, sorry for not commenting any more than I did. We'll see what happens over the next few weeks.

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I have one more final exam on Wednesday morning, then I'm done for the quarter. School starts back up again on the 2nd.

This gives me a week and a half to catch up on everyone's stuff.

Expect comments ...

And thanks to those with suggestions for the passwords ... I completely forgot that I can look at them that way. However, I had already deleted everything before I read the comments. I actually deleted everything before I had even wrote the entry. Oh well. Least I know for next time.

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I decided that since I couldn't remember the password I was using back in '04-'05 when I started this blog, I deleted all the password protected entries that I couldn't read anyway. There was no point in leaving them there.

I know that I am depressed. It's an illness and I am getting professional help for it now. However, the way things seem to be working is that the week or more that lead up to the appointment seems to be fine, so when I go to talk with him, I haven't really anything bad to talk about. Then afterward ... everything seems to spiral downward. I saw my therapist this past Friday. Since then, I haven't wanted to eat anything and when I do, I feel sick. I've been having issues sleeping. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go to bed, my body wakes me up at 6:15am. And it takes me an hour or more to fall back asleep, only to have my alarm wake me at 8:15 for school.

I know that this will pass; it's not the first time I've gone through periods like this. I don't mind the lack of sleep. I don't mind the not eating part. I just wish I didn't get nauseous every time I even think about food.

I still want to disappear. For some reason I feel as if I take myself off the grid for a while, things will be better when I get back. Which might be true, but it won't stop it from going back in to the hole again.

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In Vegas, I had 7, 7, MARRIED men coming after me.

I thought that would be over when I moved.

Wrong ...

What am I doing wrong?

Should I just start being a cold-hearted bitch to every man I see wearing a wedding band? Is that how I solve my dilemma?

I don't want to be with any new people right now.

Especially not someone who is already tied down.

Ugh.

I seriously need a vacation. Somewhere far, far, far, like really fucking far away.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I found this on YouTube. I found it after someone had posted something else from him on our ASL Facebook page. He's actually friends with my ASL teacher. He is part of the interpreting program at the college. It's amazing. I don't know if I'll ever get that fast, {he's a CODA (Child Of Deaf Adult) and thus has had an entire life's worth of practice} but I sure as hell am going to try. Anywho, enjoy!

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