Personal Jesus, man. It's pretty comforting. In an "I can't understand what you're saying, really, but the music and effects sound so cool that your non-lyrics get stuck in my head anyway. By the way, it's pretty embarrassing when I try to sing non-lyrics. I end up just kind of humming or repeating the same phrase over and over again" kind of way.

My teacher had it playing in class a few days ago. Needless to say, I was pretty stunned. This is the teacher that I think is ignorant. The one that gets her answers from God-knows-where, and sticks with them to the death. Yeah. That one.

Which brings me to the blog title. If anyone's noticed that my posting has gone down, it's for two major reasons. One, I don't seem to get any traffic here anymore, anyway. So I'm disgruntled. DISGRUNTLED, I SAY!

But mostly because I have my notebook to write in for school. It's supposed to stem my outbursts, but it also serves as a nice little diary.

Hmm. It's a good thing none of my teachers ever meet, because I'm sure they'd notice that I seem to take "notes" in all their classes with the same red spiral notebook. Constantly. When in actuality, I'm just doodling or making fun of them.

Lord, I hope nobody ever reads that thing. I'd be in soo much trouble. Hahaha.

I think a major insecurity of mine was cured yesterday. With one little sentence. I don't remember how many words there were in it, in case you're wondering. (Whoever you are.) But it made me feel good.

Did you know that they have "grenade alarms"? You pull the pin, set the volume to loud, and throw it in a sleeper's room. Supposedly it won't turn off until the pin is replaced, but I've also heard that just holding the lever closed for a while will work. If not, they can at least turn the volume down. So, there's a flaw in the design. Otherwise, that's pretty freaking cool. I'd want one, if I didn't have to buy it of Amazon.

That's all for now.

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(Only posting here because NuTANG refuses to take it. So some of this doesn't make sense.)

Finally got around to buying that adapter, so now I'm on my one month free trial of X-Box Live. And Halo 3 just got that much better.

My profile's on the net, if you're interested.

As you can tell, I'm not great. But it's fun. :D

I've tried loading this video to Google with the stupid Video Uploader that lets you upload large or multiple files. But it's not appearing on Google. WTF. By the way, is anyone interested in seeing?

I shouldn't be on. I have a rather large homework load, today. And I came SO CLOSE to making an A in two classes.

Obviously, my standards are dropping.

*looks around* Why is it that nobody around here seems to ever respond to my more profound posts? I've always thought this was the right crowd. DON'T PROVE ME WRONG!

(On another note entirely)

People confuse me.

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Have you ever considered that everyone's addicted to something? Even if it's not drugs, or alcohol, or nicotine...

Are you aware that every drug that's used or has ever been used has a natural counterpart that our body actually produces from time to time? In fact, they use the same receptors on the cell wall.

Those chemicals, of course, are our emotions. Some say that our emotions are just the brain's way of relating memories. Indexing them. When something triggers an emotion, everything connected to that emotion, your response to the situation, comes to the surface faster. "Randal: School bully. Short, red hair, pizza face. Beats you up for money after second period. ALSO SEE: Sarcasm, peer pressure, fighting."

Is it possible to be addicted to an emotion the same we we can be addicted to their more dangerous counterparts? Sure. It's just chemicals.

Aren't we all addicted to one emotion, or another?

*Abrupt Subject Change*

Did you know that the only true randomness in the universe is at a quantum level? Everything you know breaks down at distances so small you can't even imagine them. Electrons don't move in a predictable path. In fact, a scientist can only give you the probability of where an electron, or any particle, will end up. The word "random" implies something happening for no reason. In quantum mechanics, we find that the word is redefined. It now means something happening that can not be explained by science.

Even rolling a die, which is the first thing I think of when I hear the word "random," is not actually random. The formula that would let you predict how it rolls is insanely complicated, but it's still there.

I had a question when I was first discovering this. If there's so many random events happening around me, then why don't I notice them? If a proton can tunnel through solid matter with no warning or explanation, then why can't I run into a wall and tunnel through it?

They say that the space between a nucleus and the electrons around it is empty. But if we were to look at a piece of space smaller than the atom itself, insanely small, then we would see particles randomly forming and annihilating themselves. The randomness cancels itself out if you don't look closely enough, the same way newspaper photos turn into small dots if you use a magnifying glass.

Here's something even more incredible. The brain is actually designed to amplify this quantum randomness to the point where we can actually see it in chemical reactions. So, yes. Our thoughts, memories, and emotions are all chemical reactions. But they're grounded in RANDOMNESS.

Remember. Random isn't chaotic. It's just unexplainable by science. So you begin to wonder. What if there's a consciousness outside of my body, a thing of pure thought, and I'm an extension of it? Like my brain is a receiver, getting signals from somewhere else?

I believe in Science. I believe in God. They're two sides of the same coin, really.

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Some people say that love makes the world go around. I'm not saying that it can't. But it doesn't. It may be pessimistic, but if you look around, then it's obvious that nothing is making the world go around. Love is just barely holding it together. Barely.

The perfect society, I think, would be one in which there is no right or wrong. Which is never going to happen, but think about it. Imagine someone wrongs you. Our reaction? Justice. We want retribution for those that trespass against us. Also, we figure that people will learn that doing bad things makes bad things happen back.

Huge flaw number one: two wrongs doesn't make a right. It doesn't matter how fair you think you are; you have no right to punish someone for their wrongdoings. Simply because you've done wrong too. In fact, nobody has the right to judge or punish anybody for-

Actually, I take that back. Here's an idea: in every wrong doing, there's a crime against God, but in some there's also crime against other people. Only the LATTER can be judged by people, and only if they're clean/already been punished or forgiven for their misdeed. Make sense? The crime against God can only be dealt with by Him. Whether punishment or forgiveness ensues is up to Him, as it would be here on Earth.

ANYWAY, huge flaw number two: there's no such thing as a perfect justice system. No matter what you do, there will be screw ups. People will get away with awful things, or get blamed for something they never did. And even if you get the guilty/not guilty thing right, you still have to choose a fitting punishment. Or, ideally, forgive. Which gives this huge flaw two sides. On one hand, SOMEONE will always act selfishly and wrong someone. On the other, forgiveness is quite possibly the hardest thing to comprehend for some people, and even harder to follow through with for almost everybody.

So, if people would stop being selfish, and people also forgave more easily, then the world would turn around, and love would make the motion.

Unfortunately, (here's your pessimism,) human nature doesn't work that way.

Any thoughts?

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