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Saturday. 11.3.07 10:46 am
Have you ever considered that everyone's addicted to something? Even if it's not drugs, or alcohol, or nicotine...
Are you aware that every drug that's used or has ever been used has a natural counterpart that our body actually produces from time to time? In fact, they use the same receptors on the cell wall.
Those chemicals, of course, are our emotions. Some say that our emotions are just the brain's way of relating memories. Indexing them. When something triggers an emotion, everything connected to that emotion, your response to the situation, comes to the surface faster. "Randal: School bully. Short, red hair, pizza face. Beats you up for money after second period. ALSO SEE: Sarcasm, peer pressure, fighting."
Is it possible to be addicted to an emotion the same we we can be addicted to their more dangerous counterparts? Sure. It's just chemicals.
Aren't we all addicted to one emotion, or another?
*Abrupt Subject Change*
Did you know that the only true randomness in the universe is at a quantum level? Everything you know breaks down at distances so small you can't even imagine them. Electrons don't move in a predictable path. In fact, a scientist can only give you the probability of where an electron, or any particle, will end up. The word "random" implies something happening for no reason. In quantum mechanics, we find that the word is redefined. It now means something happening that can not be explained by science.
Even rolling a die, which is the first thing I think of when I hear the word "random," is not actually random. The formula that would let you predict how it rolls is insanely complicated, but it's still there.
I had a question when I was first discovering this. If there's so many random events happening around me, then why don't I notice them? If a proton can tunnel through solid matter with no warning or explanation, then why can't I run into a wall and tunnel through it?
They say that the space between a nucleus and the electrons around it is empty. But if we were to look at a piece of space smaller than the atom itself, insanely small, then we would see particles randomly forming and annihilating themselves. The randomness cancels itself out if you don't look closely enough, the same way newspaper photos turn into small dots if you use a magnifying glass.
Here's something even more incredible. The brain is actually designed to amplify this quantum randomness to the point where we can actually see it in chemical reactions. So, yes. Our thoughts, memories, and emotions are all chemical reactions. But they're grounded in RANDOMNESS.
Remember. Random isn't chaotic. It's just unexplainable by science. So you begin to wonder. What if there's a consciousness outside of my body, a thing of pure thought, and I'm an extension of it? Like my brain is a receiver, getting signals from somewhere else?
I believe in Science. I believe in God. They're two sides of the same coin, really.
Monday. 10.29.07 9:48 pm
Some people say that love makes the world go around. I'm not saying that it can't. But it doesn't. It may be pessimistic, but if you look around, then it's obvious that nothing is making the world go around. Love is just barely holding it together. Barely.
The perfect society, I think, would be one in which there is no right or wrong. Which is never going to happen, but think about it. Imagine someone wrongs you. Our reaction? Justice. We want retribution for those that trespass against us. Also, we figure that people will learn that doing bad things makes bad things happen back.
Huge flaw number one: two wrongs doesn't make a right. It doesn't matter how fair you think you are; you have no right to punish someone for their wrongdoings. Simply because you've done wrong too. In fact, nobody has the right to judge or punish anybody for-
Actually, I take that back. Here's an idea: in every wrong doing, there's a crime against God, but in some there's also crime against other people. Only the LATTER can be judged by people, and only if they're clean/already been punished or forgiven for their misdeed. Make sense? The crime against God can only be dealt with by Him. Whether punishment or forgiveness ensues is up to Him, as it would be here on Earth.
ANYWAY, huge flaw number two: there's no such thing as a perfect justice system. No matter what you do, there will be screw ups. People will get away with awful things, or get blamed for something they never did. And even if you get the guilty/not guilty thing right, you still have to choose a fitting punishment. Or, ideally, forgive. Which gives this huge flaw two sides. On one hand, SOMEONE will always act selfishly and wrong someone. On the other, forgiveness is quite possibly the hardest thing to comprehend for some people, and even harder to follow through with for almost everybody.
So, if people would stop being selfish, and people also forgave more easily, then the world would turn around, and love would make the motion.
Unfortunately, (here's your pessimism,) human nature doesn't work that way.
The Fourth Day
Sunday. 10.28.07 11:54 am
I had another long weekend. And today's the last day. ACK!
Forge is a feature on Halo 3 that lets you edit the multiplayer levels. But here's the one-up on any other level editor. You can edit with more than one person, (i.e. multiplayer,) and the level is interactive while you're editing it. In other words, you can switch between the "343 Guilty Spark" character, which is used for moving stuff, deleting, and anything else you might do in editing, and your normal player.
This leads to an astounding amount of possibilities. The editing player can fly, and can pick up anything as long as it isn't part of the landscape. Big things. It can also rotate them and move them back and forth. Rather quickly.
Now imagine, if you will, a super soldier with a rocket launcher shooting at a small flying orb. I am the orb, and my brother is the Master Chief. Sean gets in a tank and starts shooting at me. I go around too fast for him to shoot me, and pick up the tank, forcing him out. I then proceed to use the tank as a shield while he shoots more rockets at me.
I threw the tank at him. Several times.
This amuses me beyond all reason.
Wednesday. 10.24.07 6:41 pm
I am so fried right now. I can't even contemplate starting my homework. Which is going to hurt me later tonight.
No girlfriend: Yes, this gets its own little category thing. There is almost nobody I can talk to anymore.
No friends: I haven't gone to a party for so long. And I want to go to one. Or hang with my friends. I'd love to do both. There isn't even anybody on AIM.
No swim team: As much as I don't like to practice, I would kill for something to do right now.
Bad weather: It's nice and rainy outside, but it's too cold to get wet. Especially since I'm half sick anyway.
No inspiration: All my usual haunts on the internet are letting me down, and I don't have any freaky projects that usually distract me from more academic ventures.
UPDATE: (an hour or two later) I just thought of a few video ideas. Which leads to another point: a lack of good actors. Not that I'M a good actor, but at least I know the effect I want. I hate it when nobody understands my art. :D
And Dilated, that's as good an excuse as any I've ever heard. Ahahaha.
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