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Wednesday. 3.7.12 4:00 pm
I decided that since I couldn't remember the password I was using back in '04-'05 when I started this blog, I deleted all the password protected entries that I couldn't read anyway. There was no point in leaving them there.

I know that I am depressed. It's an illness and I am getting professional help for it now. However, the way things seem to be working is that the week or more that lead up to the appointment seems to be fine, so when I go to talk with him, I haven't really anything bad to talk about. Then afterward ... everything seems to spiral downward. I saw my therapist this past Friday. Since then, I haven't wanted to eat anything and when I do, I feel sick. I've been having issues sleeping. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go to bed, my body wakes me up at 6:15am. And it takes me an hour or more to fall back asleep, only to have my alarm wake me at 8:15 for school.

I know that this will pass; it's not the first time I've gone through periods like this. I don't mind the lack of sleep. I don't mind the not eating part. I just wish I didn't get nauseous every time I even think about food.

I still want to disappear. For some reason I feel as if I take myself off the grid for a while, things will be better when I get back. Which might be true, but it won't stop it from going back in to the hole again.

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I must be doing something wrong
Wednesday. 3.7.12 1:09 am
In Vegas, I had 7, 7, MARRIED men coming after me.

I thought that would be over when I moved.

Wrong ...

What am I doing wrong?

Should I just start being a cold-hearted bitch to every man I see wearing a wedding band? Is that how I solve my dilemma?

I don't want to be with any new people right now.

Especially not someone who is already tied down.

Ugh.

I seriously need a vacation. Somewhere far, far, far, like really fucking far away.

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p/w upon request
Wednesday. 2.22.12 12:58 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Must share!
Friday. 2.10.12 11:15 pm
I found this on YouTube. I found it after someone had posted something else from him on our ASL Facebook page. He's actually friends with my ASL teacher. He is part of the interpreting program at the college. It's amazing. I don't know if I'll ever get that fast, {he's a CODA (Child Of Deaf Adult) and thus has had an entire life's worth of practice} but I sure as hell am going to try. Anywho, enjoy!

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Busy, busy, busy
Tuesday. 1.24.12 1:02 am
Ah! So last week there was school one day: Tuesday. Monday was a holiday and Wednesday through Friday school was canceled due to snow. I finally was able to get a bit of sleep.

Things are back to normal now so, of course, this means little sleep and even less free time.

I have no idea how well I'm doing in my classes ... It's only the 4th week. I'm sure I'll find out soon enough.

But I felt compelled to let you all know I'm still around. I just have very little time to actually do much besides work and school related things.

Until next time...

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It's been a long time...
Thursday. 1.12.12 1:42 am
... since I had something that gets me as excited as my ASL class does.

I'm fairly sure my coworkers are sick of hearing me talk about the signs I learned in class each day.

It's hard to talk about something to someone when they care very little about the topic being discussed.

I can't wait till I learn more.

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