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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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"Why not join the military like me, or don't, or sit in a ditch and slowly transmogrify into peat"

I should play Middens again.

I've been trying to figure out the lyrics to "Borrowed Time" by Night Beds. Something about this song is deeply satisfying me right now, but the lyrics are incredibly hard to understand. It's been almost two hours now that I've been listening to it, and I've got most of the lyrics I think, but there are certain bits that just elude me.

This version is easier to understand than the album version, although it doesn't sound as good...


And these are the lyrics I have so far:

I know I've sought forgotten dreams
I till and pined for you to listen [Not sure about this line]
No stone unturned is left to keep
I give you now my own admission

I'm living on some borrowed time
And I never understood why
Paltry signs led me from my homestead state
Now I'm racing west in some ???

Morning light breaks as I tow this throat
Driving through these lonesome country roads
Forest lake[?] hidden[?] by tethered trees [REALLY not sure about this one]
Timber breaking as I weep[?]
But it's all forbidden, it's all forbidden
It's all forbidden, I know, I know

Oh God, I've forgotten how to pray
Make me a man like you did with ape [The last word sounds like "Abe" to me but that doesn't make sense, so I thought it might be "ape"]
Faith can carry a man to his grave
Would you bury my bones by the garden gate?
'Cause it's all forbidden, it's all forbidden
It's all forbidden, I know, I know

Heaven's in the corner 'bout[by?] now, let's face it
Heaven's in the corner, somehow we'll make it
Heaven's in the corner 'bout now
Heaven's in the corner somehow

Now the sky unfolds its blackened robe
Life as it was will never know
Go on, sing your pardon, see this through
And maybe, maybe it might move you
And it's all forbidden, it's all forbidden
It's all forbidden, it's all forbidden

Heaven's in the corner 'bout now, let's make it
Heaven's in the corner, somehow we'll face it
Heaven's in the corner 'bout now
Heaven's in the corner somehow

---

Any ideas?

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My dad figured out what was wrong with my camera. One of the batteries in it was a dud, and the pack I opened to replace the batteries with had one dud in it as well. So nothing was really wrong with the camera after all, it was just crappy batteries.

Yay!

I keep thinking about cheese crisps and I was looking at them on Amazon. You can get a 12 pack of 4.5 oz boxes for about $30 - $40. I don't want a 12 pack, though. You can also get a 22 oz bag for $11, which seems like a better deal (also, less packaging).

I wish they sold the 22 oz bags on Amazon...

---

Welp, I bought the cheese crisps. The ones I got were $38.99 for a 12 pack. Amazon is dumb for making you get $35 worth of stuff to get free shipping now. >:C

Me: Ugh I've been staring at this cheese crisps page forever.
Me: I feel like I should just get it.
Ex: im surprised you are still looking at those
Ex: i would think you would have either bought it or forgotten
Ex: you should probably just order them
Me: I should
Me: I should get free two day shipping with a free trial of Amazon Prime
Ex: you could get it in one day for only 3.99!
Me: Wait really?
Ex: if you have prime, yeah
Ex: to upgrade from 2 to 1 day shipping is 3.99
Me: Oh
Me: Ehhh
Ex: a while ago if you had prime you could get regular speed shpping and get free credit for MP3 downloads
Ex: im sad they stopped that promotion
Ex: since i buy pretty much everything on amazon, like deodorant and most of it i don�t are when i get it.
Me: I'm sad they upped the free shipping minimum order to $35.
Ex: order more cheese sticks
Me: The one I'm getting is $39, so I think I'll be okay there.
Me: My free trial has started and it says one day shipping is $5.99
Ex: oh, yeah, i forgot. when they upped the freee shipping to $35 they also uped one day shipping to 5.99.
Ex: it used to be 3.99 for years so i remembered it as that
Me: I don't know why they had to move up the free shipping to $35. Seems like they could have at least started with like $30.
Ex: so you would spend more, probably
Me: Ugh so dumb
Me: Come on Amazon people are still recovering from the recession
Ex: you are buying $40 worth of cheese sticks, i dont think the recession hit you that bad
Me: ...Touch�.

---Edit---

For the record, buying that pack of cheese crisps was like my whole paycheck. >.>

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It's kind of weird having nothing to do now, after school kept me so busy the past few weeks. I feel kind of bored and disinterested in everything. Tired and yet restless in a weird way... Like I want to wander around even though there's nothing to find?

I had a dream that my mom had died a few years ago and I'd somehow forgotten. I was very confused and upset and couldn't understand why I hadn't remembered something like that.

Also, my camera is not working. :C I don't know why, but it won't turn on. I'm afraid I might have bumped it too hard or something, and it broke. I think I'll ask my dad to look at it in the morning, since he might have some idea of what to do. Otherwise, I'll probably have to take it to a repair shop. I really hope it's fixable...

Oh, um, some dude on OKC tried to offer me money to "mess around" with him. It was pretty gross. I asked "Are you suggesting I engage in prostitution?" and he backpedaled and said "Absolutely not," but uh, he didn't have a very good excuse for his behavior. He said I looked like someone who had offered it to him before. >_> Suuuuuuuuure, creepy 35 year old guy with three kids, sure...

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Somebody called me a "beacon of comfort" this week. :3

But... he said that because he was talking about how he wanted to talk to me when he was feeling bad, and I wasn't online. So... :(

My last final is tomorrow! Awright!

I should be studying for it, but I'm... not. I'm also supposed to make like five or six dozen cookies, but... I'm not doing that either. >_>

---

Actually, scratch that. I'm making the cookies.

---

Aaaaaaand now my arms kinda hurt because I'm making a triple batch, and instead of doing it one batch at a time I just dumped all the ingredients together, and it's really hard to stir.

Man, I should really study.

---Edit---

Okay, I studied.

I looked at the Most Popular list on a whim and saw this:

Apparently the internet likes me this week. o_O

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I've been doing a lot of research for a literature review I have due soon. I'm researching the effects of different types of medication on geriatric dysthymia.

Dysthymia is a chronic, mild form of depression. Geriatric dysthymia is just dysthymia in old people.

I've noticed that there are certain researchers whose names keep popping up in the articles I'm finding. I think it's reasonable to conclude from this that these researchers are interested in the topic, if they keep doing studies on it. Following that assumption, I keep wondering what makes these guys want to keep researching this stuff. I've half-consciously been making up backstories for them in my head.

"D.P. Devanand, why do you keep doing studies on medications for dysthymia in the elderly? Did you have a depressed grandmother who raised you, and you always wished you could help her? Are your parents dysthymic? Is it someone else close to you?"

"Markowitz, apparently you're the authority on dysthymia... Are you searching for answers because you've had to deal with it and you want to find something meaningful that will resolve your feelings about it?"

In a slightly weird way I'm starting to feel like I know these people, and these questions are burned into my mind. >_>

---

Apparently I didn't notice a guy hardcore staring at me today while I was talking to my friend Alex. I was waiting for my dad to come pick me up, and this guy walked past me, and Alex kept watching him until he went way past us, and I was confused about why, then Alex said the dude was creepily staring at me (and then him), so he thought it was appropriate to stare back.

...There were a lot of commas in that sentence.

Anyway, I was like "aw man, I feel like I missed out on a fulfilling experience." I don't get creepily stared at very often, so it is a bit entertaining when it happens. As long as nobody tries to touch me, it's all good fun. :P

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