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That's it?
Thursday. 5.20.10 8:30 pm
Whoa, three entries in 72 hours! I think. I didn't actually count.

Guys, I was really looking for an answer to my situation.
What should I do? =/ Should I take it?
I mean, it's going to be clerical work if I take it now.
And I don't get to have another internship as an actual law student later if I take it now.
No law school perks.
(going to trials, hands on legal work)

But then, I don't know if I want to intern there as a law student.
Law school will most likely be international law for me.
It doesn't help me any to intern in the New York County's District Attorney's Office.

Then I talked to academic advisors today.
I had been considering the Forensic Psych BA/MA program.
5 years, come out with MA, go to law school.
Sounds like a plan, right?
But...I don't know if I want to dive into serial killers heads.
I love the idea of understanding where people come from--
I mean, their minds and why/how they come to decisions
what got them there
not literally where they come from.
Too few people do this these days.
Everyone is so keen on assuming and labeling and gossiping and bitching.
Enough people!

I'm in this school now. Am I good enough to go elsewhere?
People here are less intelligent.
But recently I've found...I can survive.
Maybe even enjoy myself.
No, I don't fit in.
But when have I?
I never have before. I didn't die then.
But I did have a depression...
does that put things in perspective?

Can I go to Columbia?
(by can, I mean, will I get in?)
Should I go to Columbia?

Frankly...I'm scared.

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Duck, duck, and goose: Oh, the choices!
Thursday. 5.20.10 5:08 am
I got an interview
at the New York County
District Attorney's Office.

Why, I never asked for
such an opportunity.

It was dropped in me lap
so far so good until
a Stella gave me a call.

Revealed a condition
that could only be bad
news travels fast in my head.

If I get accepted
I am never to come
again as a law student.

Oh woe, oh woe is me!
My choice, what can it be?
Figure out this poem* and see!

I mean it, there's actually a pattern. The first to find it gets a prize!

*Say "poem" as though it rhymes with "foam."


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From now on...
Thursday. 5.20.10 12:21 am
My heart will go on~~~ and on~~~ and on~~~

No, I am kidding.
Seriously, I am.
Truly, no more.
No more~~ no more~~ no more~~
Jack~~
Don't you come back~~
No more.

No more musicals.
Only poems.
Of life.
Of me.
Dotted with Dot.

Because of invisy-ot.

(I dunno, I made it rhyme.)

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Motto x 3
Sunday. 5.16.10 8:52 pm
I AM TAKING CARE OF MY MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH EVERY DAY.

I CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING I SET MY MIND ON.

I TAKE TIME TO ENJOY MY INTERESTS
(DANCE, MUSIC, PHOTOGRAPHY, DRAMA, DRAWING, READING, WRITING)

I AM MY OWN UNIQUE SELF SPECIAL, CREATIVE AND WONDERFUL
(LATENT, BUDDING, ATYPICAL)

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Channeling Alice in the Wonderland.
Wednesday. 5.12.10 1:43 pm
Something like "I'm late, I'm late!"
In which I run around like that rabbit
Running like
A chicken with its head cut off.
And I'm writing like this
Because the new layout by invisible
Is not very wide.

And all the while
Time is TICKING.

Time bomb, take cover! *explosion*

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So I had an entry bashing Mother's Day that didn't get posted.
Monday. 5.10.10 12:38 pm
About you-know-who. Huge fight yesterday. Angry, resentful, self-pitying tears that sprung to my eyes and leaked. Those of you who have my twitter (over to the left, by the way) and checked your twitter late yesterday would have seen:

How is it that one who has failed as a responsible adult is able to shame me? Only because I am not as vindictive as she. Alas, I am filial.

Which totally coincides with Nuttz most recent post not titled but dated "Monday. 5.10.10 6:53 am"



This video is again on repeat. =D

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ATTENTION DAVE & TANG LOVERS
Sunday. 5.9.10 1:06 pm

What's the possibility of making this site more mobile friendly?

The site takes forever to load on my phone's browser--and I have an android MyTouch. I know there have been the offhand suggestion to clean up the page. It is a bit...all over the place. I like it. It's very NuTang. But. I can't access it on the go. And it is true that it would be much better once cleaned up. Not only that, people (consumers) seem to prefer more...streamlined products. Take dave's Vinalli for an example. Very streamlined. People are loving Twitter and Facebook, both of which are way more streamlined and organized than NuTang's homepage. Which says something because Facebook is a crazy mess of tangled barbed wire hoping to steal everyone's right to privacy on the internet.

*shrug*

Plus, thaitanic has made me quite jealous because he can post an entry from his android and I can't. Grr.

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TODAY. Or rather yesterday.
Thursday. 5.6.10 4:45 am
Why the hell am I still up?

I'll tell you why. I just had a Facebook chat with that guy. We got to talking about serious/personal things. Leading somehow to relationships and marriage and what not...NOT about us, just in general. Strange I know.

Anyway, I relayed something technically personal about how I was more mature than others my age and yet did not have the experiences that most adults have in common (which help to define them as adults) + I think I have the olden thinking, but without the mutlitude of experience from age (which complicates things for me.)

I say technically personal because I don't really see it as that personal. This is more to me a discussion of the possible ways of being human. It's knowledge.

The stupid idiot goes and says that he has goosebumps. When I ask why, he answers that it's because I'm getting really personal. Then he says "thank you for your answers"

WTF?

So then I got my hackles up and I stopped answering as often. Like three times compared to every/every other instant message. I was...feeling a bit defensive I suppose. And also cautious. I'll be sure to rein in my tongue around this guy. I don't know when or if ever I'm going to open up and speak so freely again.

And I am completely awake. No, getting a bit sleepy now. But throughout the conversation I was awake and didn't notice the time passing. I think I'm getting too used to sleeping at 3-4am. That is so not good. Sigh. In need of rehabilitation. Again.

Feeling strange. And I don't like this feeling. I haven't been unsure of myself for a good number of days now. It's disorienting to go back.

---------------------------------------------------

Oh, and I completed my presentation in an hour and a half! With 30 min left before class, I went up to the cafeteria for lunch at 4:30pm. My first meal of the day. Man, was I starving! x_x The BLT there turns out to be pretty good. Maybe I'll get another one today. It's only $2.50. Pretty sure I had the best speech out of all the people in my group and out of the two groups that went today. So I felt pretty good. Course it's also because the people here aren't exactly up to my par so... And then that guy had to shake things up for me. I'm not exactly going to be as happy as I have been for the past few days. Happy for no reason, I was. I am a bit shaken, I have to admit.

The guy isn't good looking. Oh my god, he is NOT good looking. And that totally sucks. I know I settled but oh my god, why can't I get someone who is average looking at least? Jesus fricking christ. The two times I saw him he had on a red plaid button up shirt and wire glasses. What a geek! But...but...intelligence, Silver, remember that the brain is a good thing. But why oh why couldn't he be good to look at, too?! Why do I always attract the sensitive, smart, but geeky and lame guys...

Those of you who want to know what he looks like and are friends with me on FB, let me know and I'll show you. And yes, I felt like doing some guy-bashing. You got a problem with that?

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