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There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast foods.
Days of the year

January 2020

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a word in edgewise
Monday. 1.25.10 3:13 pm
All bills are up to date.

You have no idea, the amount of joy that simple fact gives me. :)


things have been good. I've signed up for the spring semester at TCC and I plan to follow through all the way. I'm only taking 2 clases. Spanish II which I dropped previously because of work and crap and blahblahblah. And Ballroom which - *squeel* yay! - I'm looking foward to with pleasure.

Work has been good. Well, I mean, it's been work. But, it's going and it's paying and things could be a lot worse. I'm simply waiting on my Income Tax to come in so that way I can do my taxes, send it out and get my return information so I can apply for fasfa. oh, fasfa - you hold the keys to my future - please be kind.

I think I've found the apartments i'm going to move into once everything goes down. *yay* They're cute and they're pet friendly and they have a gym. Plus, best news? They're biking distance from work. Of course there's the intersection of death between me and work - but what's a morning without a little dose of near death? Nothing, I say.

My love life has never been this stable. It's taken awhile and it's STILL not exacatly where i'd want it to be - but it's in a very good place. It's an understanable one and though of course we have problems we're working on them. We're also looking towards the future. I do'nt know if that's a mistake yet or not. I'm hoping not. I'm quite enamored - and I think that once things are in a good place the puzzle peices that are us shall finally fit they way they should have been all along. The mystery that is 'us' is still yet to unfold and i cautiously yet hopefully wait for it to be solved.

So, in short - life seems to finally FINALLY FINALLY be going well for ol' Helena. And she is happy. Quite content.

oh! and one of my best friends from high school just got married!! I was a bridesmaid and Elessar went with. It was way fun. :) Pictures up soon. :)

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Thursday. 1.14.10 10:41 pm
so, first off - haven't had internet in ages upon ages. Got behind on house payments/bills and it had to go. But! with new job and weekly pay I'm able to bring it, and thusly NuTang back into my life.


ok - updates updates updates

Good! We had a change in management and it was a rocky start, but we seem to be on even ground now. I kind of love my job and the people I work with. Actually, Monday has become workplace bowling night. We meet at 9 to well...bowl, and then go to IHOP afterwards. We talk, we chat, we visit, we eat and be merry. It makes monday more intresting than my weekends.

Yeah, got REALLY behind on payments. But, everything is settled now. Which puts my mind at ease. It's nice to be so close to being caught up. Have a new roommate. Co-Worker. He's really cool. Mostly stays in his room all day and plays XBox Live. But, he helps around the house and so far is the best roommate who wasn't a friend in the first place i've had.

Is doing well. Nothing overly exciting really. My brother is having relationship issues with his girlfriend. She's his first girlfriend and I know how much he loves her but they've spent about a year apart from each other and now she may or may not go to Japan for a year to study Japanese. It breaks his heart. Since he's so wrorried about her and has no real direction on what to do with his life or school - he's been lashing out at the fam. It makes me sad. SO much mis-communication.

My best friend Priscilla got married this past weekend!!! yay!!!!! Elessar went with me. I was a bridesmaid. It's weird that all of this is happening. It's all becoming so offical. It makes me happy that she's happy though. She was on cloud 9 the whole wedding. And still is. :)

Love life:
Well, the wedding didn't help. Still not dating. Still single. ANd you know what? I like being single I don't mind it at all, but i'd like to at least DATE. I am yet to be on a date. I'm thinking about maybe paying for a profile somewhere online. But i'm going to wait until i'm offically 25 to do that. blah!

Well, dropped my entire semester last semester. But, better that than taking Fs. BOO on F's. I may or may not take classes this next semester. We shall see. Probably this weekend. Actually, more like on Friday. I plan on going to back to Univeristy in the Fall on financial aid. I also plan on being graduated by either May or July. So, this is my last year. I can't wait till I start teaching. ^_^

yep - that's about it.


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Thursday. 1.14.10 4:28 pm
Internet is back at the house.

genious entry due soon.

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According to Plan
Saturday. 11.14.09 6:47 pm
Things haven't been.

I signed up in the fall for school. I was SO excited. I've waited so long and worked so hard to go back. What did I do? Throw my money at it and walk away. I'm so angry. I'm so disturbed.

Pri's Bachlorette party is tonight. I wish I could have gone. It's something that (should) only happen once. Once. All my friends gathered for one last horrah before pri gets married and starts popping out babies, buying houses, and I never hear from her again. Even though the party in and of itself sounded like it was going to be kind of lame - I would still have loved to go.

Work. I got a promotion - sounds great, right? It's more responsibility and hours which is great and wonderful - but it's also the exact same pay that I was working for before. So the hands of good fortune aren't exactly equalizing here.

Church. *sigh* It used to be somber. It used to be if you just did your thing and wasn't stupid everything was all good. Then it became kinda fun. Lots of fun actually, but it also came with alot of stipulations and expectations. It became about the individual inside the group rather than the individual in and of themself. I became disenchanted and distanced. Though still with a longing in my heart. Like a spurned lover who can't be near their other for the pain, but the pain apart is nearly if not just as bad.

All of this coupled with things that have been said to me recently. Things that have been pointed out about me have left me with this little..........cyst. I guess that's the best word for it. It's not terminal - it's not even all that big a deal (medically) - it's just annoying and won't go away easily. But it's this nagging feeling - this emotion that at the end of the day wakes up, turns around and latches on to me. As soon as I forget about it's weight, it adds a few pounds just to remind me of it's mere presence. It's this little cyst that reminds me: Of others. Of my childhood dreams. Of the things I lack. Of the things I'll never be.

I won't go into all the details. There's no real need. But, all of what I've said is just the tip of the iceberg. They're just the easiest chucks to understand, for me to write about even. There's so much more - so much depth. I'm not sure if even talking about any of it will solve anything. It might just pour lemon juice on sores.

I had a plan once upon a time ago.
It's still here, bound in leather and kept safe near my side.
But, it's edges are starting to yellow. I wonder how long it'll be before the print begins to fade.

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