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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Thursday, May 6, 2010
I just came back from a part time job I was offered by a friend who had just open a catering business. I agreed to help since the venue was near to my home. I had worked as a waitress before, and recently my hand was itching to do some waitress-ing job, and somehow my friend's offer was like a dream come true. Today's catering job was simple but somehow ... I felt a pang of guiltiness stinging my heart because the catering was for a function where I know most of the participants. I'm not sure if I'm feeling embarrassed but I was feeling 'this job is gross' when I had to separate the food waste and the plates since these diners didn't clear their plates from the tables!!! Another worker and I just stared at each other and mumbled under our breath how gross this job was. I told that worker that this was just the beginning for her since this is her father's business!!! HAHA. I know how sweet I am!

And just now .. I received a message that my friend has no more chances to survive form cancer. So I need to visit her in the hospital as soon as possible ...

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Environmental degradation, a hoax?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Saturday. 5.1.10 12:30 pm
moving in circle
without antenna

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Run meow run!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I know you guys are missing me but I didn't know why I could not load my blog for the past one week.

So yes, as the title says, meow needs to run! But faster. Last Saturday, I went to a university's open day and they provided health check services. of course I registered for all the services since they are free. And I got heart attack when I was at the body fat measurement counter. My measurement was almost at the borderline! Imagine, a thin person like me has +/- 27% of fat deposited in my body!

ARGHHHHHHHHH! I need to do exercise!!

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Meow . Meow .. Meow ............
Monday, April 19, 2010
Just imagining renaye meowing on a do re mi basis in the title. And that is what this entry is all about.

I have missed choir practice for a few times but I do know there is a performance the choir is invited to perform along with the seniors. The performance is in May and I have like 15 days to practice but the truth is I don't know the song. HAHA. Ironic or not doesn't really bother me because I can just learn to sing all songs by ear, if my tone deafness is not that bad.

I went for practice last Sunday and I was quite bitter about the practice. I was given 2 new music scripts, which we will be performing in May. It's both in Chinese. Never mind that I have to write pinyin on the lyrics and memorise it which is no problem to me at all, but I think I was confused between crying and laughing. I looked at the script and the music notes stared back at me. There is no music background for the members to listen and to sing along. It was purely singing by the notes; it's what we called sight reading: you sing as you read the music notes like you play piano as you read the notes. The only thing I was frustrated was I don't know how to read the music notes and what's more I don't know how the music notes sound. Yes I do know how to read the music notes but I don't remember how it sounds like. If I see a note, I know it's B and then G and then on and on. But I get confuse when I have to sing the notes Ti to So to La and on and on ... I can't maintain the sound.

I'm not too sure if I'm the only one having this problem. I don't know if other members are having this problem because most of us are very new members like me. And there was no training to read these notes. As I said, reading is not a problem it's just the solfege for me. I can self learn but there will be no one telling me what is right or wrong! I want to learn to sing the songs given but so not able to...

And always when I'm there I don't really join in the solfege because I can't really hear the notes well. So I have to listen to the whole song first before joining the others. And then struggle if I were singing the right note. HAHA.

But last Sunday during the combination with the seniors, I really enjoyed the practice because the seniors has a conductor, and I enjoyed listening to the conductor's comment, though I don't really understand mandarin. How I miss the choir back in NZ. I missed how the conductor taught the newbies in singing and I had so much fun. I think God must have been kind to me because I nearly bitch about my unhappiness to the leader of alto before combining with the seniors. I was glad I didn't, but I was in tears of frustration. I was a second close to exploding.

Later I told another senior from my group about not getting the solfege right. She also shared the same experience with me but I received no assurance that things would get better except I got the hint that I don't know how to sing is because I didn't do my homework. Though I agree with the senior that solfege is important because we will get to sing with accuracy but there is lack of support to juniors and for once I really felt like threading over water. I don't even feel that in my work place. And yet I feel like that in the choir. I feel so sad. I told the senior and the leader that I will just write the lyrics on a piece of paper and remember the tunes in my head... they went gag and tell me No No No. I could not care less if you want me to sing in May. Time is running out and I have no other choice to learn up the song. Though we often sing the solfege together I just could not get it.

For god sake, can't these leaders think and know what are the learning styles of other people?! I just want to be good .. I want to be able to lend my voice for the group. Damn it!

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Thursday, April 15, 2010
I'm now watching a documentary on survivors of animal killers. It's horrible to try to imagine myself being a survivor of an animal killing. It's hard to shrug off this feeling knowing there's a 50-50 chance that I could be in this situation. I don't need to be in an animal killing. It could be terrorist attack, robbery and what's not....

This world is not safe. Living in my own house is also not safe.

So where is safe?

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