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Memores acti prudentes futuri

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no surprise, no mystery
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
All these leftovers
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
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Same as yesterday more or less
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Today one of my classmates gave me flowers from her garden to try to cheer me up. It was a really sweet gesture.

I can't say I was actually happy at any point today, but it felt good to be around people who care about me and include me.

I've been thinking about something that the girl who talked to me for a long time yesterday said. She told me that she thought I was very intelligent, but not just in a book smart way. Like, I make connections I guess, and understand things? She wasn't sure how to describe it at first, but settled on the term "wise." She also said that I seemed to just know a lot of different things, and that she didn't know any guys who could match me on that level.

There are certain compliments that really stick with me over time, and that was one of them. I've admired and thought the world of other people before, but to my knowledge nobody has felt that way about me. It feels really nice to know something thinks highly of me in a meaningful way.

Bonus good thing: I didn't cry today! At all! Wow!

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Things to be happy about
Monday, March 24, 2014
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Gone, gone, gone
Sunday, March 23, 2014

In the timid darkness tonight
Soaking up moonlight
Are all your roses in the Nordic countries
Soaking up moonlight forever
Now life is a dream
Atlas of fears
Soaking up moonlight
Soaking up moonlight
Soaking up moonlight
Labored with her colors and sound
I値l arrest your love
See all my echoes of a supernova
I値l arrest your love forever
Now life is a dream
Atlas of fears
I値l arrest your love
I値l arrest your love
I値l arrest your love
What do you see when you close your eyes
The beautiful disappearing truth
My recovered memories of the current landscape
Soaking up the moonlight in the Nordic countries


Almost two and a half years, gone just like that...

I think it was the right thing to do, but that doesn't make it any easier.

brb going to go hibernate in sadness for the next thousand years

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Friday, March 21, 2014
My sleep schedule is horrible. Some nights I don't go to bed until after 2 AM, some I fall asleep at 10 PM. Wednesday night... er... Thursday morning... I slept at 6 AM. And woke up at 7:53 AM. -__-

I had about half an hour to go before my alarm went off, so I tried to just fall back asleep. It was surprisingly difficult. I was just lying there with my eyes closed and I thought that for sure the alarm was going to ring any second, then I looked at the clock and it was 8:11.

So yeah I need to fix this. My sleep schedule has been bad this entire quarter and I'm hoping I can make it more regular for spring quarter...


I went to the sheriff's office to get fingerprinted today so I can volunteer at the crisis hotline and they had a big chest of stuffed animals in the waiting area.

I thought this one was cute, though a little creepy because it has no nose.


Some parts of this album are interesting.

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First HowAboutWe date
Monday, March 17, 2014
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I wish you wouldn't
Friday, March 14, 2014
"When are you going to stop taking Romeo to get medication?"

My parents might as well be asking me

"When do you want to let him die?"

I wish they would stop.

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Going gone
Thursday, March 13, 2014
You know, I think you told me
You have a new name now


Measuring my life in late night conversations and still moments. These are the memories that remain. The days are fading into bright blurs, they're missing details.

That day on Broadway, walking by myself past the grocery stores. This is a memory in third person, and I watch myself draw closer. My perspective is unable to shift in the scene. I was alone. I wasn't worried. I was happy?

Why aren't more of my memories in first person?

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