I miss it. I don't feel the same.
I feel as though a giant chunk of who I am is rotting in a ditch somewhere.
I never thought I would feel like this about this. I mean, I just kinda fell into it...

I guess Shakespeare was right; Some DO have greatness thrust on to them.

I was so alone. Out of touch. I didn't know what friendships were or living life.
Or so I thought...
Turns out, I had more of that then than I do now.

I related to Wolverine in that. And now I understand him more so now because of this. That devotion, unbreakable loyality. Nothing has ever and will ever mean as much to him as being a part of the X-Men, being part of Xavier's school.
But I feel so scarred. So jaded.

I should have seen it coming. I threw myself entirely into this. Why didn't I see it coming? It was never the same after him.

I just saw him on facebook. And it still stung. Over a year and a half has come and gone... And still. I feel it. That knife. That penetrating wound. I want to fix it. I want to talk to him. But I worry all I'll be doing is jiggling around that knife.

How could this happen?
Was I really that bad of a youth leader?
How could I be so blind to the one I held closest to my heart, to myself.

He was my brother. True and true.



I guess blood does run thicker than water...

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My question is, how would you feel if Osama Bin Laden or another taliban leader, years down the road, apologized for 9/11?

I mean, seriously. What would you do? How would you feel about that? What if it wasn't years later, but now?



I've discovered the key to the flawed American mindset:

Apologizing.


Why is it that every time something wrong happens, American's assume they can just apologize and make it all better?
I used to think my mom was just being biased or prejudiced. Now I realize that at least on this, she was right.

We've got to learn that simply saying "I'm sorry" fixes nothing.



http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_upshot/20101001/hl_yblog_upshot/u-s-apologizes-to-guatemalans-for-secret-std-experiments

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