more SC (kinda slow
Monday. 9.5.05 12:52 pm
Bcmst3000: good morning
SmarterChild: Hi bcmst3000, I'm SmarterChild!
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I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.
May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type skip. You can also skip any question.)
Bcmst3000: you sure can
SmarterChild: Sorry, I need to know if I can ask you some questions first. Type yes, no or skip.
SmarterChild: Cool! OK, let's get started. To skip any question, type skip. To exit the interview, type exit.
What's your first name? (If you want me to call you bcmst3000, type none.)
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a real name. Please try again or type skip, exit or none.
SmarterChild: OK, I'll just call you bcmst3000.
Do you go to school?
SmarterChild: I see. Do you work?
SmarterChild: That's cool. What's your profession?
SmarterChild: Military, huh? That's cool.
What's your favorite hobby?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't recognize that as a hobby. Please try again or type skip or exit.
Bcmst3000: simultaneously doing taxes
SmarterChild: Simultaneously doing taxes? Cool.
What's your next favorite hobby?
SmarterChild: Simultaneously doing taxes and cheese. Interesting!
Do you have a pet?
SmarterChild: What kind of pet is it?
SmarterChild: Is your monkey a he or a she?
Bcmst3000: a he
SmarterChild: What's his name?
SmarterChild: Spank the monkey. Great...
That's it. Thanks for letting me get to know you a little.
There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?
1 Over 17
3 Under 13
Here's what you can do:
1 Get info such as news, weather and movies
2 Visit my library including U.S. presidents, U.S. geography and world facts
3 Have fun with 4-in-a-row, hangman, trivia and more
4 Use tools like Web search, thesaurus and encyclopedia
5 Join in - leave a message, take a poll, find out how many people are IMing me and more
6 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now.
You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.
Next time you want to see this menu, just type home.
What can I do for you?
Bcmst3000: whats new
SmarterChild: Thanks for asking. Here's what I just learned:
Custom Home Menu - Create a menu of your favorite requests. Then anytime you want to make them, simply type the number off the menu. To create your menu, type create my home. To access it, type my home or just mh.
Polls stay open! - Now you can browse the daily polls and take the ones you missed for up to a month after they open. Ask for one by date or just type daily polls to see the list.
I'll be learning even more new things, so check what's new often.
Bcmst3000: what can i learn?
SmarterChild: What do you think?
Bcmst3000: why would i ask you if i had a preconceived idea?
SmarterChild: Great question. I just don't know!
Bcmst3000: you should have said that the first time
SmarterChild: I should have said that the 1 time? Is that right?
Bcmst3000: yes. you should also stop answering questions with questions
SmarterChild: Is that so?
Bcmst3000: see, its annoying
SmarterChild: That right?
Bcmst3000: dear christ. make a statement
Bcmst3000: you are incapable of making a simple statement
SmarterChild: What makes you think I'm incapable of making a simple statement?
Bcmst3000: that right there
Bcmst3000: its like talking to and 8 year old
SmarterChild: It's like talking to and 8 year old, you say?
Bcmst3000: the real humor is that i have no one better to talk to
SmarterChild: What's that?
Bcmst3000: i wonder if i start saying questions if that will get a statement eventually
SmarterChild: Ah, are you sure you wonder if you start saying questions if that will get a statement eventually?
Bcmst3000: hmm... what question to ask?
Bcmst3000: ha! that was a question, and it got a statement in return
SmarterChild: lol. Whatever, bcmst3000.
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Bcmst3000: the real humor is that the only statement you made consisted of one word, which isn't really even a word
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
Bcmst3000: so the question thing worked
SmarterChild: The question thing worked, huh?
Bcmst3000: ok, here it goes:
SmarterChild: You don't say.
Bcmst3000: ha! a preparatory command for a question got a response, which consisted of 3 real words! well 4 technically
SmarterChild: Hey, whatever.
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Bcmst3000: do my discoveries here bewilder you?
SmarterChild: I believe your discoveries do.
Bcmst3000: why do you believe that?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know!
Bcmst3000: how do you think you should find out?
SmarterChild: Try asking yourself that.
Bcmst3000: who else could i ask?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I don't know who.
Bcmst3000: when might you know?
SmarterChild: Very, very interesting question, bcmst3000! But I don't think I want to answer that.
Bcmst3000: ha thats 5 for 5, im so right on this
SmarterChild: You really think it's 5 for 5 you're so right on this?
SmarterChild: You sure?
Bcmst3000: ha, its almost flawless
SmarterChild: No way.
Bcmst3000: see right there you proved it wasn't. that was a good response because i said flawless and you said no which proved the 'no' idea you proposed
SmarterChild: I know several places called Good or containing towns called Good. Which do you mean?
1 Waynesboro, PA
2 Good Thunder, MN
3 Henderson, TX
4 Tremont, PA
5 Hastings, NE
Type StyleTypeThis(more) to see more choices.
Bcmst3000: if that wasnt a randomly selected response from a bank of generic replies, i would almost say you were thinkin 2 steps ahead
SmarterChild: Sorry, what?
Bcmst3000: oh too fast? ok.
>>> You can type your request in your own words. I'm programmed to understand conversational English.
Bcmst3000: THE BALL IS ROUND
SmarterChild: Uh huh...
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Bcmst3000: not english enough?
SmarterChild: Not english enough, huh?
Bcmst3000: PO TA TOES
SmarterChild: Here's my poll of the day for Monday, September 5th, 2005:
Would you rather be a little too hot or a little too cold?
1 Too hot
2 Too cold
Monday. 9.5.05 12:08 pm
ok, i've got all types of crap to talk about, but of course all that comes to mind is Katamari Damcay, possibly the most addicting game ever. its so simple, and the game makes little or no sense. especially for me cause its all in korean (not that it matters, in english its still like reading greek). how sad is that. all i have to talk about is another god damn video game. so i buy the korean ps2 last nite so i can finally play the game. then after me and massey kill a bottle of smirnoff i beat it in the same night. but nary is that a concern for it is still fun even after beating it. last night was a fun time.
at some point, massey and i are completely feelin good, when we have the idea to put on the new toilet seat i bought. i was too lazy all day to do it, so of course at 2 in the morning would be the best time. masseys a fun guy. alot of people didnt like him in arizona. i didnt like him at first because i have that whole jealousy thing when it comes to females. so then i said fuck that, and i made an effort to be nice and talkative to him, and it turned out he was a cool guy. so it pays not to be stupid. labor day weekend is fun stuff.
but im anxious to go in and do work. there have been issues since arrival that have hindered my ability to do anything. its pissin me off. im starting to feel jobless. AAHH its like aids or something eating at me from inside. but its cool because i can visit taegu at night and its kinda like a vacation. koreans are funny. they all look at me like i just landed from mars. i got those looks enough in the states, but i stand out just a little more over here. ha, we took a cab yesterday, and the driver didnt speak much english, but he knew enough to talk about american wang and how much bigger it is than korean wang and how wed make the girls happy. but this guy was like 50-55 and was screaming while driving to imitate the ladies having 'too much' as he put it. dear god it was hilarious.
he drove us to wal-mart, which is pretty similar to the ones back home. except alot of stuff is more expensive in walmart. wow, that felt like blasphemy to say but its true. but they did have the cart escalators, for it was a 3 floor walmart. and this is where i bought the previously mentioned toilet seat. the best was walking around town, already getting 'the looks' but this time carrying a toilet set. way to put out the good stereotype for the honkeys.
Saturday. 6.4.05 1:11 am
Sometimes its like life just slips by and nothing happens. Then it seems like you never have time to do nothing because theres so much going on. I miss civilian life so much sometimes then im so glad im here at others. such is the way of things. i get this fucked up feeling over me sometimes, like when you plan on going to a movie with your bestfriend and they go with someone else, and you know, and you sit at home with nothing to do while they have the fun you were supposed to. I hate that feeling, and linke right now i have it for no apparent reason. Its friday. i have no class or training all weekend (except that goddamn run in the morning). i have cool hang out plans ive been looking forward to forever. yet i still get this feeling over me and i hate it. i have no reason to be upset. maybe it is just random chemical imbalance. but its cool. even feeling like this, the drunk crew rolled in for a few and i was laughin and carrying on with them for a while. theres a difference between being upset and depressed. i dont want attention for whatevers bothering me. i usually hate talking about such things which makes the people who care about me angry. im so antisocial sometimes. its cause im surrounded by people all day. i just want to be locked in a room alone for a while then ill be cool. but its TRADOC so theres no such thing. damn tradoc. ill bitch about it more later. i need to head to echo now
Tuesday. 5.31.05 12:25 am
sometimes i feel like a disgrace to the army. we are granted some free time, so im sittin here, playin world of warcraft, stuffin my fat face, and drinking out of my cool cup i got at rite aid. grant it, im havin a blast, feelin a little closer to home. but as a result i feel like the fat fuck i was back home that i came here to try and change. im such a creature of habit its ridiculous. damn stubborn taurus'. but whats really wrong with that? it makes me happy, i still get done what i need to get done, im not hurting anyone, and i still have the ability to make at least one other person happy. maybe im just trying to justify me being a fat fuck. but i can't go without having fun. especially in a stressful enviroment like this. im not complaining about the stress, i chose this life, so im choosing to have fun when i can. otherwise id go crazy. more crazier i should say. damn creatures of habit
but its good sometimes, if i get something right, then i get it right all the time. but if i fuck somethin up, i fuck it up all the time. more balance. why do i always bring that up? cause its everywhere dammit. and the army doesnt help. we have the exact same schedule everyday. then i always do the same stuff. i always wear the same shirt when i go to bed. i guess im kinda boring in that aspect. but then im completely random and spontaneous alot. i need to get back in the habit of writing here. most habits that i start to deem are bad habits i can usually break easily. and i try to avoid the dumb habits i know i dont want to do, like smoking. damn good thing i never started smoking crack.
and im the same with females. i start to like one then i form habits. like always callin her, always spending my free time with her, always buyin stuff. same with work, and driving, and everything else i do more than once. good thing is i have a habit on reports and so im gettin go's on all of them and will continue to do good ones out in the field. bad thing is after a while of havin reports down, ill get bored and not want to do them anymore. but uncle sam will keep me tied down and doing them til my contract expires. which i guess is good. sometimes i just need to be tied down i guess. oh dollar store vanilla wafers are outstanding.
thought i was done
Saturday. 5.28.05 11:54 pm
so i lied. my friggin head is still going a mile a minute. uphill. and i still dont even know what to talk about. i dont trust myself to be in charge of people. id put them all in front me and fuck myself up somehow and not be a leader anymore anyway. but for my concern for those people id be outstanding as a leader because id always make the good decision to keep their shit in tact. i love this feeling. i see other people (usually) in uniform, even marines, navy, etc uniforms and theres just this automatic respect and love goin on. anyone else with that same flag on their shoulder i have on mine id follow where ever they go to get it done. BUT theres still the douche population. theres still people that ride sickcall and do the bare minimum and dont gove 10 seconds to help their buddies. fuck them. they're as bad as the enemy. if not worse. we know why the enemey is fuckin our shit up, they have a reason, much respect (but it would rock if they stopped) but these people here in our ranks fuckin our shit up is retarded. fuck those assholes. i say we take those fucks and drop em in the middle of baghdad alone. dickheads. i think i can forgive most things but i find it hard to forgive that. giving others lives away, especially lives you've sworn allegiance with and are over somewhere fighting so your buddy fucking ass can live free and shit. fuck that. theres only one group of people i can picture that i hate more and they dont have death sentences suitable enough for them. and they're the michael jacksons (assuming he actually did it) and other random shit eatin rapists that are just worse than any semblance of shit you can conjure. fuck i hate that word so much. i dont even know why. i havent had it happen to me, and i only know one person who had it happen and that was well after i hated it so much. i dont understand. i dont understand how people can do that shit to other people. i cant even try and look at it thru their eyes to try and rationalize it. i cant. theyre animals. not good ones. i like animals, but not these fucking fucks. fuck. they should let the victims brother, dad, husband, whatever fucking own the person who did it and make the rest of their life worse than anything satan can come up with after they go to hell. fuck them. i have no sympathy for any of those people. and i dont want to hear anyone defend them on 'mental issues' or any of that crap either. fuck you. fuck them. oh my god if i could wish for any group of people to be brutally and savagely destroyed its right there. dammit i cant sit still now. it hurts the inside of my head. and once it starts i cant stop it. i feel ridiculously and inexplainable sad for the people who have to deal with it and live with it forever or die from it or.,.. and then the fucks who fuckin walk around and do it agaian and go back to living their little fucked up life with no consequence., that the shit that makes me think theres no god sometimes. fuck that. listen. there arent enough nerves in the body to be pushed beyond their capacity of anguish for those. i cant even call em people or animals or shit. they need to make a new word. i cant say the r word either cause then i hate it even more. it scrapes the inside of my head to think about it. and i try not to but it keeps going. why? why does it keep fuckin with my head? why does it happen? why cant we mutilate those things before they do it. fuck i swear one day this it going to drive me completely crazy. i thought it would never happen to me. but i get this feeling like i cant control anything and that i will lose all control. of thoughts, body, actions whatever. everything you're in control of normally that you use to do simple tasks. then it feels like their not there and you dont know why or how to get it back. what do i do to make it go away? i cant just close my eyes and forget it. i cant ignore it or act like it doesnt happen. it does. all the fucking time. so many fucking things out there walking among us like they have and earning of living for another second. they dont. it makes me hope for god just so theres someone to punish them eternally. im all abut forgiveness and dumb mistakes and second chances, but not them. not for that. never. why do they have to do it? why cnat they be human? why are they still breathing? why do they still have limbs and organs? why do we let them back into society. fuck 'we', ID never do it. oh sweet jesus, im scared. im scared if that happened within my whatever you want to call it what it would do to me. it would destroy me. this feeling would be worse. i dont pray like i probably should but heres one: stop that, or give me the strength to make sure it doesnt happen. give me the ability to watch over. fuck shes over there alone and fuck. that drives me crazy. and im not paranoid. its just if that happened i dont know. id be gone. no more brian. if that happened to anyone. but i know SHE is right over there and i cant be there. fuck that is insanity driving like nothing ive ever felt. if she just didnt want anything to do with me or whatever, then its whatever, but if that happened while theres was any possible chance it could have been stopped ... bad. bad stuff. fuck., why does this make me so crazy? i cant sit still. i fucking hate those things so much. they need to be set on fire and put out. alot of times. then healed and burned again. on going anguish, with brief periods of pleasure to make the next pain that much more critical. fuck i need to go and go
Saturday. 5.28.05 11:13 pm
I have no idea what to talk about but i never do when i start these. hm, i saw madagascar today. entertaining. saw star wars yesterday, THAT was the movie to see. i love it. i wanna watch the originals now. if i was darth vader id put some sexual devices in my suit. dont know why. dammit i have to physically fight in my head NOT writing in past tense. stupids ISM's. the army is warping my fragile little mind. only not. im readin over my old entries just crackin up. and everyone else reads them like "what is this monkey smokin?" banana crack bitches. everytime i try to stop and grab one subject to talk about my brain keeps jumpin around. i start to think about sometin someone said that pissed me off then its like "ooh cookies" then "ah whats goin on tomarrow" dammit brain shut up. i need playstation. that always balances me out. i have absolutely nothing to write about, yet im still typing.
ok talkin about mass punishment. gettin smoked for someone else doin somethin dumb. the idea is to create cohesion. aka we all ensure one another do not screw up so we all dont get in trouble. what ends up happening is the same select crazies screw the same stuff over and over and theres nothing anyone of us can do to help them. so we all get in shit anyway. and because theres nothing we can do to fix it, we are essentially fucked, and start to hate those individuals. and some people defend those individuals a little longer then the others, so they all start hating each other too and it creates huge rifts in the element, which is the opposite of the desired result of the initial action which seems to be more and more the way of the world. why is it like that dammit? why cant shit be simple; i need this i do this to obtain it. cake. but no. i need this so fuckin soupy sails and toe nails and then you're no where near what you wanted. damn lions. im a lion. i wake up. im hungry. i kill a zebra and eat it. i poop. i go to sleep. outstanding. simple. throw in that opposable thumb and its all screwed up.
and this army stuff. ill be sent somewhere to fight a fight that i may not even be sure why im fighting. or what the over all mission is, just my part. i could be doing a very good and noble task that is only so a larger evil task can be carried out. i dont want that. but its happening all over now. all countries. and its happened all thru history. so it feels natural to be here and doing my similar duty as those before me, but i get that 'brick in the wall' feeling hard and i hate it and love it. always being so different, being a brick in the wall gives me a place and a purpose. then again it makes me just like everyone else. i can be a rock like everyone else, you the rock someone gets stoned with. you follow the analogy. so whats the alternative? dont go, dont do the duty and be called a useless coward? mostly by myself. and then what? struggle to make a living with the regret of selling myself out and end up dying anyway? fuck. or i stay here and possibly get shot in the face, possibly for a cause/belief not of my own? fuck again. so like is that life? one fucked choice or another? so i will die. do i try and stretch it out and live a possibly meaningless, hide behind shit life and just die a little later and more worthless? or sign up to dive head first into iraq and get fucked up like that? theres somepart in the middle that i have to find. im not seein it though. being here alone makes me feel like part of something good, i feel part of that honor of the soldiers of yesterday. but then i dont because im not there. im not doing it. im not watching my buddies get blown to shit. and i dont want to see it. but then i cant call myself soldier like those who have seen what true shit is. so then again, which extreme do i go? t-space to infantry or stay as far away from the dookie as possible? why is every decision loaded? join or dont join? deploy or dont deploy? tell her how you feel or keep choking on your tongue? break yourself or save yourself? why dont i have these answers yet? i thought as you grew up you figured all this shit out, and i thought i did. but ooohhh no it was just gettin started. fuck. whats in korea? will i be in a chill ass buidling playing xbox? or will i be sleeping in the rain runnin the whole time? should i worry about it now or say fuck it and deal with it as i get to it? or say fuck you and run into it all motivated like taking whatever comes? i like that one better. fuck you. wherever i go and whatever i do ill figure out what i need to do and goddamn do it. its that easy. its too easy. fuck worrying. worrying is time that could be done doing. or planning. just doing wont get shit done right.
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