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Memores acti prudentes futuri

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no surprise, no mystery
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."
~ William Blake
Online Radio

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts

Blue Milk Special
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
The Moon Prince
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scary Go Round
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy

Wilde Life
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
The Book of Biff
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Moon Town
The Nerds of Paradise
No Reason Comics
One Swoop Fell
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Sin Titulo
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
Super Buzzkill
The Super Fogeys
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Ugly Girl
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown

Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
In the home stretchhh
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Only a week more of classes left, and then finals!

Yesterday was nice. I went out to lunch with some people and then watched Kung Fu Hustle at home. It was pretty laid back. I also went to Sweet Tomatoes for dinner with my parents because they left for Seattle this morning at 5 AM and that was all we could really do for Father's Day. I forgot to give my dad a card though.... >.< I guess I'll have to wait until he gets back.

Ugh so much reading to do. And so many papers. Well okay not really. I have one five page paper, a six page one, and a six to eight page ethnographic account. I haven't started any of them yet though, so uhhh that will be fun I guess....

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Yum yum
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
My cupcakes turned out okay! I ate two and a half today. >.< My classmates seemed to like them, and appreciated that I brought them. I'm kind of just happy to have a reason to make something.

Got another week of classes, and then finals... Busy busy. I need to start on my papers... :\ Got three due and they're all five to six pages minimum. Bleh. I don't want to do schoolwork... I just want to finish the quarter and be on break...

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Gonna make some cupcakes~
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Becka won the election for class president of our whole program (which includes three other cohorts I think?) so I'm going to bake some cupcakes to bring tomorrow!

I was going to do chocolate but then Vicky and Alex thought that yellow with chocolate frosting might be better, so I'll do that instead. Wish they'd announced the winners last night instead of this morning so that I could have brought some cupcakes to school today instead. Oh well.

I'm excited to start baking. :)

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Music and movies [3P]
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Tan lines >_> [3P]
Monday, June 9, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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This music... [Ask]
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Upcoming plans
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Next weekend my classmates and I are going to go to Santa Cruz to have a beach day. I'm looking forward to it. :) We might go to the Boardwalk as well. (Fingers crossed)

I haven't gone to the Boardwalk in what feels like forever and I'd really like to. I want to go on my favorite rides and see if there are any new games in the big arcade... And hang out with my friends of course.

In other news, this guy from my high school messaged me on OKC and didn't know who I was. I think he's been stoned for most, if not all, of this conversation. It's... weird. I finally mentioned that we went to the same school and he got all weirded out. He types in a way that makes him sound really dumb but he keeps insisting he's a huge nerd and that he was "king of the unpopular kids" etc. because he played video games instead of sports. Since I know what our high school was like I find that pretty amusing. I think it was more common to be a nerd than anything else at our school...

It sounds like he had a really difficult time in high school because of the pressure to perform. Apparently he was a C student, which would've been... pretty embarrassing at my high school. I think he might also have been homeless for awhile, but it sounds like he lives with his parents now. This is kind of sad. I didn't like high school much either but at least I wasn't struggling.

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And so forth
Monday, June 2, 2014
Well, I'm not worried about the thing from the last entry anymore, but now I'm worried about my ex again. -__-

I got mad at him for canceling the therapy appointment I made him sign up for. I want so badly for him to get help and feel better, but it kind of feels like he just won't make the effort. I'm not going to go over there again and force him to make another appointment. If he doesn't want to get help I can't make him.

Still, it's frustrating. Very frustrating. I care about him but it often feels like he doesn't want to feel better. I'm sure people have felt that way about me before. I know that sometimes all you can do for a person is be there to listen and support them. It's hard to do that with him though because he wants to talk about me, and well... yeah. It gets awkward. I don't know what to tell him a lot of the time. I want him to know I care about him and I want him to be happy, but when he says he loves me and misses me I can't say those things back to him. I don't want to give him the wrong impression.

I tried to eat more today but I don't know if I succeeded. I think I still had under 1000 calories. :\ I've lost four pounds in the past week and I'm starting to feel really concerned about it. As much as I like the idea of being 110 lbs, I don't think this is the right way to be that weight...

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