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Memores acti prudentes futuri


No shadows will replace the warmth of your contact
love is dead in Metropolis
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
―D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
―Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
―Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories― if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
―The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.
The League of Evil Genius

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Owen's Uncles
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
Lip stuff and other pictures
Monday, March 4, 2013
My lips get really horribly dry sometimes. For the most part I've just been using Blistex ointment on them, because since it's thin it actually moisturizes them instead of just putting a layer of whatever on top. I was doing that and then putting other chapstick type things on top, which wasn't working very well but was the best I could do until I found something else to try.

Went to Target yesterday and ended up buying one of those eos lip balms I've seen but never tried before. They come in little round things that look like normal lip balm pots, but you don't have to use your fingers, which is nice.

Here's a not very good picture I took with my phone:


Anyway, I was super surprised, because this has been working out amazingly for me. It's possible that it's totally a coincidence and the air has just gotten less dry or something, but like, my lips aren't on the verge of cracking anymore. Definitely worth the extra dollar fifty or whatever, in my opinion.

I'm getting a horrible amount of freckles on my lips and face, which is possibly due to use of products containing petrolatum... I've read that it makes your skin more sensitive, so that if you don't use enough sun protection it will get damaged more easily. I never used to get freckles on my lips (don't remember ever having anything before college), so maybe it's related? Dunno. It's a bit hard to find lip balms without petrolatum if you're just looking in a normal store, and they tend to cost more (no surprise there). Honestly I'd rather pay a little bit more and not be plagued with freckles, even if my boyfriend thinks my freckles are cute or not very noticeable.

I have some other pictures to share...

Part of a picture from a different Ethiopian restaurant we tried. It was depicting how coffee production works in Ethiopia, I assume.


There's a cute little ice cream shop in Japantown that had one wall totally dedicated to George Takei. I got a picture of the action figure they had.

I think there was a sign somewhere else in the store that said they would display different prominent Japanese figures to honor them on that wall.

Just thought this was pretty.


Some pictures from the most recent hike I took with my Environmental Science Lab class.



One from the trail.


On Friday I went hiking with my friend Gabe for about three and a half hours at the Stevens Creek Reservoir. That place is HUGE. We got lost and had to walk along the road around the park for awhile to find our way back.

A picture of the reservoir:


There was a ton of wood washed up on the banks.


We also found what appeared to be a scrapyard.


And apparently they dump a lot of the wood from the banks there too.


I finally bought Breakfast With Abductees after having a clip from it as my text tone for three years. The movie Sven van Hees sampled in it has kind of a gross plot, but now I'm somewhat curious about it. Has anybody here seen The Last Sunset?

Comment! (4) | Recommend!

Good ol' hoarder habits
Sunday, March 3, 2013
I'm not really a hoarder. I do enjoy cleaning stuff out every now and then, when I get around to it.

This isn't about physical stuff, though. Just got my computer up and running again, and it messed up my iTunes so that I only had my iTunes library as it was in April of last year. I have NO idea why.

BUT, it just so happens that I still had the CopyTrans Manager program in my Downloads folder (which I never clean out), and of course I had saved the email with the activation code in it from that time my external hard drive crashed like two and a half years ago. Yayyyy.

I'm doing a backup from my iPod right now. It's kinda weird, though.

That's even worse than the normal Windows time estimates.

Now that my computer's working again, I can transfer the pictures from my phone to here. Of course, I am far too lazy to do that right now, but I'll post them in the future.

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Hypnagogia
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Sometimes I feel like I'm falling when I'm going to sleep. I've read this is a common experience.

Last night I felt like I was lying strapped in to a roller coaster, facing the ground, and being pulled at by gravity. Or... maybe riding those Xtreme Skyflyer rides.

I guess that it would make more sense to describe it as being tied to the bottom of a beam, but the sense was indisputably that of being on a roller coaster.

I should mention that I hate roller coasters. Also that I've actually never been on one that gave me that kind of sensation. I did ride the Skyflyer several years ago, and it was terrifying.

But back to last night. The sensation of being extremely high up like that was horrible. I felt like gravity had been reversed, and even though I was currently pinned to my bed, I could fall at any moment. I could almost imagine plummeting down through the open air, paralyzed by fear. I'm not sure if I'm really afraid of heights so much anymore, but I can't look down from a great distance without imagining falling.

---

I did end up adding onto my old story. I think Zanzibar has access to it, but as far as I'm aware nobody else from here has read it. I think... it's the longest story I've ever written, but it's actually only four pages. >.> And then I have a bit over two pages just of notes and background info. There's so much I want to cover but I have yet to decide where it will go. I am not one of those people who can write something and say "it just wrote itself!" Actually though, I haven't really ended up writing like, a paragraph or something and then deleting it... so maybe that's a good sign.

I'm just rambling now. Gonna go watch the first season of Xena with my boyfriend while he fixes my computer.

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So much for that?
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Grr, I still can't believe I missed a day. One day! So close.

It's almost too late to back out of this college path I've set myself on. I don't know why I'm saying it like that. That sounds terrible. I guess in a way I'm just kind of afraid of how I'm going to deal with the future.

I'm looking at grad school options for Psychology right now. A man from Palo Alto University, which is a Psych grad school, came to talk in my Social Psychology class yesterday, and since my professor recommended the school I thought I would check it out.

They offer PhDs, which would take five years, and MAs, which take three years. A PhD in Clinical Psychology supposedly prepares you to be a clinical psychologist, while an MA in Counseling Psychology prepares you to be a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT). I would prefer to go for the PhD, but five more years of schooling, on top of the maybe two I'll need just to finish undergrad, is a really long time. I wouldn't be done with school until I was almost 30...

Since my brother is going to do med school, neither of us would really be done with school until about that age. I'm wondering if it would make more sense to go for the MA and try to get out into the job market earlier. I'm not sure what job prospects are like for MFTs though.

Looking at the Occupational Outlook Handbook, it looks like Clinical Psychologists make about twice as much as MFTs. That's... a pretty considerable difference. Both fields are projected to grow faster than average, though. I wonder if it would be possible to get the PhD in less than five years? I don't know if they require you to take courses in a certain order (probably) or if they would let you condense them by taking on more at once. Could I do that without killing myself? I don't know my limits. Even when I'm feeling "overwhelmed" it's usually just because I put stuff off, not because it's actually more work than I can handle.

---

My computer is still broken... I'm typing this from a school laptop. My boyfriend is going to buy a new motherboard and processor and try to fix my computer on Saturday. We don't know if it's actually the motherboard and processor, though. My dad said it could also be the power supply. I don't really care what it is, I just want it to work. :\

On the other hand, without my computer working, I've been going to bed an average of two/three hours earlier. The days seem longer. Maybe it would be a good idea for me to limit my screen time...

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Beyond control
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
My writing group's prompt for our next meeting is to write a piece based on the excerpt from a random book at the coffee shop where we meet. The snippet is "the way he felt when things were beyond his control."

I have a lot of ideas for this one, but deciding which of them to go with is a bit tricky. Even though I have a strong tendency to write emotions I am familiar with (mainly variations of depression) into my pieces, I have an aversion to including things that are too close to my personal experiences. I don't want people to think I'm writing about myself (even if I am...).

Maybe I should just add on to that other piece I haven't touched in awhile. It would sort of make sense to have the character feel that way, since his life has been essentially predetermined for him by his genetics.

My computer broke last night. Hopefully it will be fixed today. My dad said the heatsink and fan on my other one were loose, which is why the processor might have burned out. I told my boyfriend about it and he said they must have come loose during transport. -Sigh-

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Double posting because why not
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Listening to Cirrus by Bonobo. When I saw the music video I knew it had to be by Cyriak. He has such an awesome unique style.


This creepy forty five year old from OKC has been messaging me telling me he thinks I'm so "pretty and sweet" and that he wants to treat me "like a princess" and hopes my boyfriend knows how lucky he is.

"I just can tell you are a sweetheart, not just from your innocent profile, and purity. But your Angel like pics. I envy your BF, you are so pretty and sweet, I hope he treats you like the ***Princess*** you are."

Ewwwww. There are forty five year olds who are pretty cool and don't creep me out, but this guy does not fall into that category. What's worse is that he's supposedly not even trying to hit on me.

"yeah I know you have a BF. and I understand, but your a sweet beautiful girl. When I say treat like a princess. I guess I mean that in this case, as a sweet friend. If I want to do something for you. I hope you let me. if we get a bite to eat, I hope you let me pay, even though its just as friends. He is a lucky guy, I hope he knows just how lucky."

It weirds me out that he's inferring that I'm sweet from my profile, because honestly I designed it to be pretty sparse and not tell people much about my personality outright. My pictures also mostly obscure my face. There have been guys who have interpreted my profile as a sign that I'm bitchy, even. -Shrug-

Here are some pictures I took in a dd's Discounts, which I guess is like a Ross or a TJ Maxx but feels more downscale to me.

Look at these swaggalicious sunglasses.


Aw yeah what son.

(I'm glad my boyfriend humors me when I put silly things on him. He has very little sense of shame.)

The names of knockoff perfumes tend to crack me up.

I feel like they really weren't trying very hard with this one.

"Our impression of 212 Sexy Men"

So it must be 505 times better, right?

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Thoughts while biking home
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
I tend to zone out when I'm biking unless it's really cold and my ears hurt or something, in which case I focus on the pain and all I can think about is getting home.

Things have been pretty stable for me I guess, in the general scheme of things. Despair rarely comes knocking.

But even though my life is more or less going well, it feels weird.

I think it's just because for the longest time I've (consciously or not) considered suffering an integral part of my self identity. It's disorienting to be moving away from that. Part of me keeps expecting to lapse and be extremely depressed again, or even... hoping for that? Not because I think depression is happy fun times but just... it seemed like it made up part of my personality.

Maybe I've said this before. I think I have, in different words. I'm still discovering who I am without depression. (That's not to say it's totally gone, it's just the faintest it's ever been)

Still, I will admit I draw most of my inspiration from said suffering.

...Though the tiny details of people's lives interest me too now. That's good. I'm finding new things to be interested in. Maybe someday I'll be able to have passions again.

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More JoCo
Monday, February 25, 2013
I've been listening to a lot of Jonathan Coulton songs lately. I sort my iTunes library by date added, and most of the ones at the top (meaning new additions) are by him.

9 out of my 15 newest additions are by him, actually. Did not realize just how many I had added until just now.

I'm spamming my ears with Artificial Heart.


His newest album is... really... poppy? (Pop-y?) That kind of turned me off it at first but I really like a couple of the songs.

I love the themes he writes into his songs. With a lot artists I might like just their music and not feel strongly about the lyrics, or vice versa. Got a good thing going here, though.

Here's my other favorite from the album, Glasses:


Gotta go to school now. I need to start sleeping more... I've been sleep deprived for awhile now and it's... not doing good things for my mood.

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