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Speak to My Finger
Books I have completed reading since January 2021:

1. The Enchanted - Rene Denfield
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I just signed up with squidoo yesterday and I somehow find it not user friendly given I'm not IT savvy, and I can't find what I want in the FAQ. I want to add more entries on the page, but I could not find any tutorial that teaches me how to move around the modules. I truly feel trapped and frustrated, even more so today when I came to office and check on my new squidoo page, my pictures were gone. Extremely disappointed.

Squidoo is something like a blog that enables you to earn. From the testimonials, many people earn a lot of from there, but I don't see how I'm going to earn.

Oh well, if you wanna see how my new site looks like, feel free to bomb Daily whimsical of my life. I thought I had a perfect title, but I'm perfectly shot down with the frustration.

Anyone else using squidoo?

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Break break
Friday, March 18, 2011
I think I seriously need a break from whatever I'm doing now.

I hope I don't evolve to having some psychotic health problem. Stress is heavier than my shoulders can support.

And by the way would you like to shout out your dreams tomorrow on a stage pad in order to win RM1 million to achieve your dream?

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Evil or not
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I'm truly sorry to hear about the tsunami disaster on Japan's shore. I am even though I may sound patronising instead of apologetic. If you think I'm not sincere, let me share with you that I donate to save the turtles and occasionally the Malayan tiger and children in orphanages.

I read a lot of news where a lot of Japanese and some Korean artists have donated money for charity. I truly feel it's really altruistic but I keep on wondering how altruistic it is in this era. One artist or two are doing it because they really want to, and then somehow it put pressure on other artists to do the same too. Can they do it silently? Then it won't be publicity anymore. And I keep on pondering can the artist do something else for the cause instead of just donating money? Is it mean to say it's boring already?

Why? Because there will be a day where money can't even save the earth. Is there anything else these artists can do without showing the money? If they do, what would their fans and other people think about them?

In short, there's even a possibility of me here criticizing a kind deed carried out by these magnanimous artists. Well, I just want to see something different... That's all.

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MY singing
Saturday, March 12, 2011
I think in my previous entry, I say I would gather the courage to upload my singing. So here it is:

The name of the song is Dear Snow by Arashi. I only sang the first half, just a teaser.

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Nightmare again
Monday, March 7, 2011
I think lately I dreamed more of snakes especially cobras than any other things.

Anyways, my nightmare this morning was not about snakes. Thank god. But far from comfort of home.

It was at night. I was wandering around at the street hawkers. I don't know what I was doing at that area, but it seems I was doing something. As I was walking around, some thugs in black came. There were cloths across their faces. One of them approached a customer on a table with a machete across the neck demanding for money into a bag. I ran at full speed when I saw many more thugs coming. I saw my dad running too. So we ended up running together. It seemed only the two of us managed to escape from the scene.

Later, we were in the car driving away. But I don't know why we ended up in a huge bus and reached a dead end because the road to get out of the area was fenced. So we just parked the bus and stayed low. I could feel myself trembling. I could hear words whispering that the whole residential area was raided by the thugs and nowhere was safe. I have never felt so sad in my life in the dream. And my mind was only focusing on my money jar in the apartment. I finally understood that feeling was was the feeling of losing a home, of seeing a home being demolished in front of your eyes, of the feeling of losing something precious. I was on the phone with mum and sister, but they don't sound sad at all. And they were not in the same area as I do.

I woke up feeling sad, which I could not really comprehend. Why would I dream such thing in the first place?

The ending? There was no ending. The ending was seeing myself in the bus staying low awaiting for judgment.

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Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I actually came up with an article on depression ... I was about to write it here until I met some F****** bastard male chauvisnistic pig (MCP)on facebook who happens to be one of my new acquaintances.

When he just added me he commented on my profile picture: "You are not bad looking." And he viewed picture I uploaded on FB. Then on the messanger, he said "I'm a nut case". Nuts enough to go to a loony bin. He said I have psychological problem and am very good in hiding my true self. Well I do agree. I was having some level of depression and experiencing some poor mental health. Yea? But so what? Did he need to go all out and to be that straightforward? People with depression sometimes are withdrawal. I seriously don't appreciate such confrontation. And I was being too polite to hold myself from screaming at him MCP. I told him in the end and he said he is proud of it.

I dislike this kind of people. I pity them since they are misunderstand lot. We are supposed to meet next Friday for some business matter. I think I'm going to cancel because I cannot work along with this kind of people. I don't want to get hypertension.

And I recommend all girls to stay away from him. This guy is good for nothing. I'm referring to his mouth.

Throughout our conversation, he kept on saying "there's something wrong with you" or "you are the one with problem." Just imagine someone slaps you in the face for 5 minutes in a row. This is what he did to me.

What a pathetic guy. His friends must be so resilient to his MCP's personality. His bunch of friends are crap too. I could not make myself from not saying it.

The final word to destress myself: THAT F****** BASTARD F*** OFF.

I feel so much better now. That is why I always say the majority of men I met are assholes. Now you know why.

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