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Memores acti prudentes futuri


Turn up the music
take me home or take me anywhere
A few words
"When we describe the Moon as dead, we are describing the deadness in ourselves. When we find space so hideously void, we are describing our own unbearable emptiness."
~ D.H. Lawrence

"Is the meaning of life defined by its duration? Or does life have a purpose so large that it doesn't have to be prolonged at any cost to preserve its meaning?"

"Living is not good, but living well. The wise man, therefore, lives as well as he should, not as long as he can... He will always think of life in terms of quality not quantity... Dying early or late is of no relevance, dying well or ill is... even if it is true that while there is life there is hope, life is not to be bought at any cost."
~ Seneca

"People will tell you nothing matters, the whole world's about to end soon anyway. Those people are looking at life the wrong way. I mean, things don't need to last forever to be perfect."
~ Daydream Nation

"All Bette's stories have happy endings. That's because she knows where to stop. She's realized the real problem with stories-- if you keep them going long enough, they always end in death."
~ The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes

"The road now stretched across open country, and it occurred to me - not by way of protest, not as a symbol, or anything like that, but merely as a novel experience - that since I had disregarded all laws of humanity, I might as well disregard the rules of traffic. So I crossed to the left side of the highway and checked the feeling, and the feeling was good. It was a pleasant diaphragmal melting, with elements of diffused tactility, all this enhanced by the thought that nothing could be nearer to the elimination of basic physical laws than deliberately driving on the wrong site of the road."
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.”
~ William Blake
TICoSME
Musicalities!
Online Radio
Soma.fm

More Fun Shtuff
Newgrounds Audio Portal
Pandora
SoundClick
Kill that boredom!
Binder Paper Comics

Web Comics and Such
A Distant Soil (Some nudity)
The Adventures of Gyno-Star (Some explicit stuff)
Aquapunk
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Bear Nuts
Beeserker

Blue Milk Special
Bobbins
Broodhollow
Bug
Buttersafe
Camp Weedonwantcha
Chainsawsuit
ChannelATE
Cigarro & Cerveja
Conspiracy Friends!
Crunchy Bunches

Curia Regis
Cyanide and Happiness
dead winter (has some explicit stuff)
Devilbear: The Grimoires of Bearalzebub (PG-13?)
Diesel Sweeties
Distillum
DUBBLEBABY
Dumm Comics
Eat That Toast!
Ectopiary (Some nudity)
E-merl.com
The End
Evil Diva
Evil Inc.
Existential Comics
The Fancy Adventures of Jack Cannon
For Lack of a Better Comic
Forming (Explicit)

Girls with Slingshots (some explicit stuff...?)
Mirror
Hark! A Vagrant
Head Doctor Productions
Hollow Mountain
IDK Comics
Inscribing Ardi
The Intrepid Girlbot
JBabb Comics
The Last Halloween
Last Train to Old Town
L.A.W.L.S.

Legend of Bill
Living With Insanity (some nudity)
Love Me Nice
Married to the Sea
Meaty Yogurt
Medium Large
The Meek
Metacarpolis
Monsterhood
Monsterkind
The Moon Prince
Moon Town
Moth (Some nudity)
Mr. Lovenstein
Muddlers Beat

Natalie Dee
Nedroid
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella
Optipess
Out There
Owen's Uncles
Phuzzy Comics
P.I. Jane
Political Cartoonists Index
Poorly Drawn Lines
Powernap
The Property of Hate
Red Meat
Rice Boy
Robbie and Bobby
Rosscott, Inc.
Safely Endangered
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Savage Chickens
Scenes from a Multiverse
The Secret Knots
Serenity Rose
Stand Still. Stay Silent
Stinking Hellebore
Strong Female Protagonist
Subnormality
The Super Fogeys
Tales of Pylea
Three Word Phrase (some nudity)
Tiny Kitten Teeth
Toothpaste for Dinner
Trying Human (Some nudity)
Two Guys and Guy
Mirror

Witchy
xkcd
Yellow Peril (PG-13)

Infrequently/No Longer Updating Web Comics
The Abominable Charles Christopher
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The Adventures of Ellie Connelly
American Hell
Bag of Toast
Bear in Mind
Bobwhite
The Book of Biff
Brat-halla
Brightest
Bullfinch
Chain Bear (Some explicit stuff)
Daisy is Dead
Dream Life
Edemia
Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life
A Fine Example
Finn and Charlie are HITCHED
Floodmud
Freaks!

Green Wake
Gun Show
Hello with Cheese
Helpful Figures
Intragalactic
Kyle & Atticus
The League of Evil Genius
Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
Letters to a Wild Boar
Lovecraft is Missing

Manta-man
Meat and Plastic
Minimalism Sucks
Mis-
Moe
The Nerds of Paradise
Nimona
No Reason Comics
Odd-Fish
One Swoop Fell
Patches
Pictures for Sad Children
Raymondo Person
A Redtail's Dream

Riotfish
Roy's Boys (PG 13?)
Run Freak Run
Saint's Way
Shortpacked!
Sin Titulo
Snowflakes
Split Lip
Spooky Doofus
SubCulture
Super Buzzkill
The Super Gay Adventures of Ross Boston
Thermohalia
Troubletown
Ugly Girl
YU + ME
2815 Monument

Pure Flash Awesomeness
Aardvardkbutter.com
Angry Alien
Die Anstalt : Toy Psychiatry
The Frown
Hoogerbrugge

Other
Bogleech
Clients from Hell
Brian Despain
Creatures in My Head
Damn You Auto Correct!
Jhonen Vasquez's site
Overheard in New York
Passive Aggressive Notes
Submarinechannel.com
Superdickery
UHpinions
Whirled
Looky here
free counters
3:16 [What the box was wrapped in]
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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The gala is tomorrow night~
Thursday, April 24, 2014
I got my first payment today from that guy I'm coaching. He just sent me cash through the mail. Yay money!

After class today I went walking around the track at school with a few friends. Two of them were actually jogging, but three were mostly walking. We went around the track a few times and then decided to try jogging... Made it about 3/4 of the way before the two guys I was running with got tired. XD I was getting kind of out of breath too, but mostly because the air was very dry and it was hurting my throat.

Like the title says, the gala is tomorrow night. I'm carpooling with Alex and Vicky. Hopefully it doesn't rain all over us. The gala is indoors, but it'll suck if the rain catches us on our way in.

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Genuine interest
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
So, I'm getting paid $20/hour to talk to this guy on Skype and help him with his social skills (specifically, talking to girls). The way he acts, I suspect he might be autistic or something. I've never met anybody who was so awkward. He'll interject random responses into the conversation that break up the flow and in some cases make things uncomfortable. For example, we did a roleplay in which I was a girl in a nightclub and he approached me, and it went like this:

Him: I like that red dress you're wearing.
Me: Oh thanks, yeah I saw it on sale and it was just so cute I had to get it.
Him: I can already TELL you're a daddy's GIRL.
Me: ...What?

(He puts emphasis on words when it doesn't make sense, so a lot of what he says ends up sounding really forced)

I was trying to explain to him that it would help if he could show genuine interest in the girl. People really notice when you sincerely find them interesting and generally are flattered by it. When I mentioned genuine interest though, he said "yeah my old teacher said I was a bad listener too." (No kidding! He didn't even understand what I just said)

Anyway, I felt like this applies to the relationship I just got out of. I rarely felt like he was genuinely interested in me or what I had to say. Whether or not he was interested was debatable, but if he was interested, his actions didn't show it. He didn't really seem to care about any of my interests, or the things I learned at school. I also gave him the link to my blog and he never bothered to read it outside of one or two times. I often felt like there was nothing about me individually that was special to him. Of course, when I asked, he would talk about how I was special and he couldn't just replace me, but he didn't really have reasons for what differentiated me besides "you're intelligent" and "I like the combination of your idiosyncrasies" (that doesn't tell me anything???). There are lots of people who are intelligent. That by itself doesn't mean a whole lot. I think compliments mean more when they really can't describe a whole lot of other people. So, things that are both sincere and unique.

When I really care about someone, I want to know what they find interesting and what they think about things. I guess that before, I took for granted that my partner would reciprocate that. It's more important than I realized, so I hope that the next time I'm in a relationship, I have that. Genuine interest.

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Getting paaaaaaaaaiddddd
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
I'm helping a guy improve his social skills through Skype and he's paying me $20 an hour! We just had our first session (half an hour) and so far so good. It's going to take me awhile to get that hat though, at this rate... The other gigs I'm doing are taking kind of a long time to happen so I guess I'll just have to wait. -__-

Nothing really happened today I think? Except that I gained ~1 lb since yesterday. >_> Probably water weight I guess. Never thought I'd be disappointed to weigh 113 lbs. All that ice cream and mac and cheese and candy!

I feel like I generally just feel pretty good when I'm 115 lbs or lighter. I wish I had a workout buddy though. My arms need some toning... I'm supposed to be training for a 9k run in autumn with my mom and we haven't started yet. >_> I know it's not really that long, but I never run anymore, only bike, so I should work on that.

Oh, I almost forgot! An old... friend(?) got back into contact with me, so we might hang out. My recent ex and I went hiking with him and his now-ex girlfriend some time ago. Gotta find something to do...

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Easter...
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Easter was pretty uneventful I guess. We had lunch with my aunt's family and my mom's friend's family and hid eggs for my mom's friend's two kids.

I found out my gig didn't actually fall through, but it needs to be rescheduled. Sooooo yay for that?

I JUST REALIZED I HAVE A PACKET OF GOLDFISH IN MY BAG!! Yay, now I have something to munch on while I do my reading for school. :D

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No response...
Saturday, April 19, 2014
I think my gig fell through, the person isn't responding. >_>

BUT I have others lined up, so it's all good.

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Longggg day
Saturday, April 19, 2014
At 8 AM my parents woke me up to ask what color orange they should paint the hall. I just pointed to one of them grumpily and tried to go back to bed for the half hour I had left. Couldn't sleep.

On my way to the nursery, my bike's tire went flat, so I had to walk the rest of the way. Work was fine though. We didn't have too many criers.

After that, I went home and had split pea soup for lunch. Went with Lucy to meet a Craigslist person at the mall, then to Goodwill to find some shoes for her. I also got a cute new top for about $5 and some fleece-lined leggings for $5.

We then went to Baskin Robbins and got a free quart of cookies and cream ice cream because I had a coupon from donating blood...

And... hm... I took a nap, then did my last shadow shift at the crisis hotline. Now I can start doing shifts on my own! I felt like it went really well and I really feel like I helped people, which makes me happy. I talked to the guy who was training me about a few things in my life, including the breakup. He told me about his life as well. He's 47 and his wife might leave him to become a Buddhist monk. It sounded very interesting and kind of sad. Oddly enough though, he didn't seem too beat up about it. He was very quiet overall, though.

One of my gigs is tomorrow! I hope it goes well.

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A note?
Thursday, April 17, 2014
During lunch today I showed a couple of my classmates the environmental building on campus where I used to spend a lot of time. We walked around the er... environmental area (it's this sort of secluded place that has a bunch of native California habitats in it)

After our last class, when I was packing up, she put a note on my desk when I wasn't looking. It basically thanked me for showing her the "secret" area and said I was smart, humble, and had a lovely voice.

...And that I have sexy curves. >_>

So that was... nice...?

I have some gigs coming up, so hopefully I'll be able to buy that hat soon.

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