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if you stick around, i'll sing you pretty sounds.

smudge clothing company.
sometimes randy and sporadicfunk and i draw pictures and we put the pictures on shirts and you have to buy them.

here is a direct link to our store on zazzle.

shirts for sale.

also, you can find us on facebook.

become a fan.
guide to success with my weblog.
step one: read everything to the right of this module.
step two: click every number at the bottom of the screen.
step three: go back to step one.

repeat infinity times.
this is my personal assistant.
i managed to break this little nutang helper from his contract with nutang, and now he works for me. his name is jump-for-joya. he manages this site. all complaints and other inquiries should be directed to him.


he thanks you for your cooperation.
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Thursday. 11.15.18 3:58 pm
It’s a tough day today.

Today is dumpling’s due date. But dumpling isn’t here. Dumpling was taken away from us because dumpling was too good for this world.

I love you, sweet child.


“All that I know
Of a certain star,
Is, it can throw
(Like the angled spar)
Now a dart of red,
Now a dart of blue,
Till my friends have said
They would fain see, too,
My star that dartles the red and the blue!

Then it stops like a bird; like a flower, hangs furled:
They must solace themselves with the Saturn above it.
What matter to me if their star is a world?
Mine has opened its soul to me; therefore I love it.”

-Robert Browning

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Sunday. 8.19.18 10:39 pm
My cat, Doc, died on Friday. He was ten. My wife and I were laying in the couch watching anime, and we heard a howl, unlike any I’ve heard before. We jumped up asking what was wrong, and he could not move. He howled again and again, then stopped. We yelled for him. I picked him up and cradled him, and saw the terrified look in his eyes. I felt his whole body quivering as I rocked back and forth telling my wife that I didn’t understand what was happening. His shaking stopped and his eyes glazed over. “He’s gone,” I yelled, still rocking, while my wife frantically tried calling emergency vets to figure out what to do. I tried to breathe air into him, but it didn’t work. “He’s gone,” I cried. Our other cat, Gus, sniffed Doc, but was also terrified, and he backed away into the other room.

We gently placed Doc into a carrier and drove to the emergency vet, crying our eyes out all the way. The vet confirmed that his heart had stopped, and stated that cats of this age sometimes have undetected heart disease and he could have had a blood clot.

He’s gone.

Doc was the first pet I had that was mine. I picked him up when he was a kitten from a place I found via a penny saver ad. There were a few kittens there. He was standing next to his bowl full of food, and out of nowhere he slapped the bowl and sent the food flying everywhere. “That’s the one.” I said.

He was a crazy cat. He loved running around outside when I lived with my dad. He took a while to warm up to Gus but became a great big brother to him in time. He loved running around our house.

Minutes before he passed, he was sprinting all around the house as if out of nowhere, and it reminded me of when he was a kitten. So crazy.

I love him and miss him terribly. I wasn’t ready for him to go, but this shitty universe is beyond my understanding.

This year I lost my grandfather, my unborn child, and now Doc. I hate this year. I really fucking do.

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Friday. 7.20.18 7:08 pm
Life has been stressful.

Over the last year, my wife and I decided we wanted to have a family.

I’m ready to be a dad. I’ve been ready.

Life doesn’t always work out though. I’ve learned that the hard, literal way.

Now I’m just tired all the time. And in pain. I don’t even know the right way to express how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking.

No one said life was fair. I’m not sure why I thought it would be.

My life isn’t over by any means, I’m just fucking stressed out. On weekends when I used to wake up at 6 or 7 I find myself sleeping until 10 or 11. That can’t be good. And even when I wake up earlier I can’t bring myself to get out of bed. I’m working on that.

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i sneezed
Thursday. 1.11.18 8:47 pm
Things are good.

The other day, I sneezed and threw out a muscle near my right rib cage that I didn’t know existed. I guess this is growing up.

I’ve been training someone for my company the last two weeks, and today is my first day back in the field, investigating away. I was afraid I’d forget how to do it because I’ve been doing nothing but looking over my trainee’s shoulder since the day after Christmas.

I found a cool ramen place called Ejji. I ate there once a week the last three weeks, and am hoping to go back this weekend with the wife. Spread the noms.

How were your holidays?


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how to.
Friday. 11.10.17 2:00 pm
i'm learning how to program unity 3d. my laptop can barely handle it because it's "old." old is in quotations because computer "old" and old have separate meanings. i feel like if i make anything too complex my laptop will explode or just shut down, emotionally.

i need some new music. i am not happy with what apple music recommends for me each friday, besides maybe one or two songs, normally those of which are by artists i already listen to. and why does the indie hits playlist always fill itself with 1000 songs that all sound exactly the same?

if anyone has any good music recommendations or wants to buy me a new laptop, drop a comment. the rest of you mean nothing to me. just kidding! or am i?

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other stuff.
Monday. 10.23.17 6:08 pm
work is stressful. i keep telling myself that any job will have stress, but i can't stop myself from complaining about it in some form. is that normal?

i'm hungry. all the time. i hate that. i've tried over and over again to complete exercise programs, but i end up quitting close to the end due to injury or sickness. ugh.

there's been other stuff going on in my life, but i don't feel like blogging about it at the moment. maybe in a private post in another eight or nine months.

life could be worse, i guess.

here's me sending out good vibes to all you nutangians. wishing you all the best.


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when you buy my things it makes me happy.
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