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Age. 27
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. ...
Location lubbock, TX
School. Other
» More info.
something i found on someones xanga
Saturday. 5.7.05 10:11 am
"somewhere between all
the laughs
long talks
stupid little fights
the jokes
all the lies
the rumors
and the crying
- - - > I fell in love < - - -"

its funny
thats exactly what happened
with taylor
and nick

the laughs of course
those two were hillarious

and ive never had longer talks
with anyone else
except for wendy
and sarah

and they joked around
sooo much

they lied to me, too, though
oh yes they did
taylor didnt ever tell me he liked me
nick didnt even like me
while we were making out

and soo many rumors
dont even want to start with them
they were crazy

but really
the point is
isnt that usually what happens?

you get soo close with someone
so close
that you fall in love with them

but wait
ive always heard
that you only fall in love

i dont think thats true

i think you fall in love
as many times as it takes
until you find that one perfect one

and that one perfect one
is someone who has some traits
of all the other perfect ones
plus alot of traits of his own

and thats why you love him
becuz he reminds you
of when you loved all those
other times
you fell in love


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more things ive been thinking about
Friday. 5.6.05 11:32 pm
well, this is what ive been thinking about

at the begining of the year
i was best friends with
omg the list could go on and on
and on one more time

but now the list is
(from that list only
becuz i have more good friends
than just these four
even though they rock)

im not sure what it is
ive become best friends
with alot of people

those are the only two
that come to mind
but w/e

but i just cant stay friends with them

im not sure what it is
but the person i most regret
not staying friends with
is will

how i miss that kid
i remember
at the begining of the year
how we would be on the phone
sooooo much
it wasnt even funny how much
we were on the phone

it was like that w/me and taylor
after school
we would be on the phone
and it was like that w/me and will

but i dont no where it went wrong

i lied
i do no

when i told him i liked him
that was the last time i was really
on the phone with him
i no

sad enough that i almost
started crying
on the bus back home
from amarillo

but i didnt

if you want me to still write
in here


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what i want
Wednesday. 5.4.05 8:13 pm
the guys i like
like really like
are the ones i cant have

thats what i want
someone who duznt want me
i want to want
someone who duznt want me

thats what i want
no matter how crazy it seems

i want that feeling in my stumach
the butterflies
and the running to the bathroom
cuz i think im gonna be sick
everytime he tells me
he likes her

i dont want him to be mine
thats the last thing i want
i want to be his
w/out him being mine

hey u perves!!
dont think that!
i meant
i want to like him
w/out him liking me
that much
at least

more like best friends

like me n nick were
or me n taylor

wow those were great
i liked them so much
and they liked me to
more in a brother/sister way

but who cares
cuz i was happy
even though in a saddish way
i was really happy

i want someone
i want
that duznt want me


what i need though
is a whole nother story

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Wednesday. 5.4.05 6:05 pm
hest starting to get

i mean hes real sweet
of course he is
but hes reaaaal clingy

and its kinda creepin me out
to be honest
and i dont like it much
i dont like it at all

im like
cuz its really creeping me out

i need to go take a bubble bath
and un creep myself out


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some things ive been thinking about...
Wednesday. 5.4.05 10:16 am
my list

1. the type of guys i like;
'bad' boys;
usually some of the
sweetest guys on the
whole flippin planet
except there not the
"right type of guys"

'nerdy' boys;
the ones that most people
just say
and wont even give them a chance
there usually pretty nice to
and alot of the times pretty funny
but there not to
"good for my reputation"

'skater' boys;
i love these guys
i really do
so duz everyone else
these are the kinda guys
that everyone wants me to like

the 'everyone elses' boys;
the guys that everyone likes
that i should like
cuz i need to be kool
they might kinda fit in the
'skater' boys
but i think the skater boys
would really fit in here

2.i can trust nutang way better than xanga;
becuz if i say
wat i really wanna say
on xanga
then everyone knows it
and it could start alot of drama
and its just completely retarded

3.i need to stop looking for the 'ryan' guy;
brookes bfs name is ryan
they have a perfect relationship
and hes really great for her
and shes really great for him
ever sense nick
ive been looking for someone
someone i can like as much
as much as i liked taylor and nick
and as much as brooke likes ryan
but when i look for him
i never can seem to find him
its almost impossible

4.im way to picky;
not w/food anymore though
thank goodness
just w/guys
which is just as bad
well almost
cuz i wont starve to death
if i dont have that perfect bf
like i would w/food

but anyways
im way to picky
im always looking for that one perfect guy
the one sweet as austin
and austin isnt that bad looking eather
at least me n wendy n ashley dont think so
((his hairs to hawt to call him ugly))

but i got the feeling
you know
that he wasnt right
or at least right for jr high
when he gave me a hug
it was a crappy hug
the crappiest hug ive ever had

and hugs mean a whole flippin lot
to me at least
the kinda hugs i like
are the big hugs
not the side hugs
or the both arms hugs
where he only
puts his arms around you
and duznt really hug you

the hugs that i like
are the evan hugs
no matter how sad that sounds
because evans a huge jerk
but he gives the best hugs
the complete hugs
the kinda hugs i want

and kendra said
those are the kinda hugs
tanner gives

but i have to move on from that topic

5.ive been needing summer to hurry up and come ever sense spring break;
i dont just want summer
i need it
this is
the 5th day ive missed
sense xmas break
and i hate it
but yesterday was to much
way to much

i didnt make call backs
i left my math book and my science book
at school
i lost my purse
people still wont shut up
about me and austin

ms martin gave 3rd prd
and only 3rd prd
all the assesments for ch. 2
and we werent even being that bad
she just hates our class
she loves everyone else
but its like her time of the day
or somethin
in 3rd prd

6.i came up w/a good phrase last night;
lets all just go
stick our heads
in a bucket of ice and
chill out
you know its good
and you know you love it

so why cant i
go stick my head
in a bucket of ice nd
chill out

cuz im failing math
almost failing science

7.you need to comment me;
cuz i love you

8.love always to you;

this movie is heart breaking
do you know
what movie it is?

jack and the beanstalk
its not only heart breaking
but its heart wrenching

and its the perfect movie
for today
all rainy
and grey

the perfect weather
for walking
that i like

or for a dvd and sweatpants day
which is kinda what im having
except im in jazz pants
not sweatpants
and my hairs a mess
and i have my stupid makeup
still on
from last night
and i dont have any makeup remover stuff
becuz i never wear makeup

what if i get a sty?
cuz jordan did sties for his disease
for science
and if you dont take off eye makeup
then you can get sties
would that suck
or what?

yea that would suck
just as bad as being sick duz

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Wednesday. 4.27.05 8:46 pm
awh i love this kid!
even though hes like
2 years older than me
so i cant really call him a
oh well

xX bOys z LiE x0: it was sooo wierd 2day
Hey Culligen Man: wut was
xX bOys z LiE x0: like when we were in home room watching the band and alot of us went down 2 the front i went down and i was talkin 2 wendy and she was like ali wants 2 talk 2 u and i was like bout wat? and she turned around real fast and i was thinkin johns gonna brake up w/me and then at lunch ali came over and she was like hannah john said he was gonna break up w/u. and i was just like yea i no and she was like oh im sry but she seemed like super super super happy... cuz u no she went out w/him but she broke up w/him n stuff n she was mad when i went out w/him and stuff so yea... i like new he was gonna break up w/him but everyones telling me i should break up w/him b4 he breaks up w/me
Hey Culligen Man: o
Hey Culligen Man: im sry
xX bOys z LiE x0: its ok
xX bOys z LiE x0: i new he was gonna break up w/me newayz
xX bOys z LiE x0: its not surprising so it duznt really make me sad or nething
Hey Culligen Man: o
Hey Culligen Man: well still
xX bOys z LiE x0: well idk
xX bOys z LiE x0: im thinkin bout breaking up w/him
xX bOys z LiE x0: but im kinda scarred 2
xX bOys z LiE x0: u no?
Hey Culligen Man: wait i thot he did break up w/ u
xX bOys z LiE x0: noo
xX bOys z LiE x0: everyones saying hes goin 2
Hey Culligen Man: o
Hey Culligen Man: ask him if he is
xX bOys z LiE x0: idk
Hey Culligen Man: thats wut i would do
xX bOys z LiE x0: im so scarred 2 cal him tho
xX bOys z LiE x0: *call
Hey Culligen Man: well its either that or wait for him to
Hey Culligen Man: well here wuts his #
Hey Culligen Man: ill do it
xX bOys z LiE x0: lol 5778735 or.....7880132
Hey Culligen Man: which is his cell
xX bOys z LiE x0: the first one
xX bOys z LiE x0: but he like never answers
Hey Culligen Man: wtf
xX bOys z LiE x0: ?
Hey Culligen Man: its busy
xX bOys z LiE x0: his cell?
Hey Culligen Man: and his anwsering machine is weird
Hey Culligen Man: his house

ooh gosh
he rox
even though john didnt answer his phone
awh i love that kid


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