Thursday. 11.17.05 3:39 pm
Girlfriend: Can I buy a see through shirt?
Kollin: Not unless you're going to wear it only around me.
Girlfriend: Why not?
Kollin: Because then you'll be risking the lives of every male that comes across you.
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Wednesday. 11.2.05 2:13 am
Man i haven't updated in forever. 8/18/05. I guess a fair amount has happened in that time span. Got promoted to assistant manager/lead of team sports. $1.50 an hour raise. Have a girlfriend but she pisses me off so that'll probably end soon. School went down the toilet. So probably the only thing really going well is work. I'm not saying life sucks or anything and i'm not taking that "why me" approach. I'm just a person who enjoys complaining.
I never really had senioritis or anything. Freshman year of high school i didn't do a damn thing and then sophmore year of high school up until my sophmore year of college i was really good with school. Now its like i've been in school forever and i'm so sick and tired of it i just want to shoot myself. Which has resulted in me dropping a lot of classes. Hopefully next semester i'll get back into it. I'm just so tired of school.
My girlfriend. Well i've been with her for close to 2 months now. She argues with me constantly. Like every chance she gets to argue with me, she takes it. It would be nice if she agreed with me on some things. Then if she doesn't argue with me, she'll make me feel like an idiot by giving me a weird look or saying things like "uh okay" or "whatever". The only time things are going well is if we're not talking. It amazes me how i get into these relationships but at the same time it doesn't. Its like i find out someone likes me and i'm like "i don't care who it is, i'm gonna be with them because its amazing that someone could actually like me". Thats exactly how it is because i've had some very shitty relationships. I know i'm not the smartest guy, the best looking guy, or the nicest guy in the world but i know i deserve better than the crap i've been dealing with in these relationships. I know you shouldn't settle in a relationship but its hard not to when you don't think highly of yourself. Thats what i go back and forth on. One moment i think i'm a decent guy and deserve better, the next i just sit there and think "you probably won't find anyone better so just go with it". Another thing is that i hate not having someone. I do like time to myself but still. Another thing that bothers me about her is that she's sucking the money out of me. I've bought her tons of things, i drive her everywhere, i buy her food all the time. I guess i won't go into any other details about it. Every relationship is so disappointing. I'm not asking for perfection but come on.
Sorry i haven't updated at all. Just been busy. I'll do my best to update more. Life is just a big complicated pain in the ass, isn't it?
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Thursday. 8.18.05 4:40 am
I'm hungry, i'm sleepy, i'm broke, and schools starting soon...can someone fix these for me? It would be greatly appreciated...please?
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Ohhh Things are Happening....
Sunday. 8.14.05 12:52 am
Alright well since i finally have some time on the computer, i spose i can write a new entry
I went to the Texans/Broncos game...just got back...broncos won 20 - 14...i talked shit the whole time...i was that annoying fan that wouldn't shut up...i haven't seen my broncos play in person since they played at Mile High so i had to be like that...people were giving me shit but i know the stats and my broncos have a history of kicking ass...i went with my parents and Nathan, friend of mine from work...he's a Texans fan...poor guy...i was trying to bring him over to the good side but he refused...look what happened? haha...my voice is all messed up from yelling so much...everyone puts down my broncos but deep inside you all know they're the best
Oh Shoot Me Now
After the game we went to Denny's...i swear to god, our waitress had the most annoying voice i have ever heard...it was all high and squeeky...she even literally squeeked a couple of times...all bubbly and happy...one of those people who if you're around them for more than 2 seconds, you feel like blowing your brains out...see i say "thank you" a lot and every time i did she'd say "you're welcome" even more high pitched...made me grind down on my teeth...hate people like that...and you just know they're morning people...wake up all energized, happy, and jumpy...wanting to talk all the damn time about stupid meaningless crap...makes me want to hit something
I write too much
I've been spending a lot of time with Ashley (from work)...been over to her a house a few times, spent several hours talking to her and watching movies...friday night she cooked me dinner and i spent the night...muy bien...i brought her flowers...see how great of a guy i am?...i dunno, i try...guys are always gonna mess up along the way but as long as you try and put in at least a good amount of effort, you shouldn't have many problems...well and you should enjoy putting in that amount effort, which i do...see the thing with me is that i'm a lot of work...meaning i dunno what the hell i'm doing because i have 0 experience with girls...well after friday it wasn't at 0 anymore but you get my point...and see i worry a lot and think too much so that gets in the way...but i like to think that i make up for my paranoia and inexperience in other ways...you know, like effort...she just needs to be patient and understanding, which she has been...she's a great girl...just kinda taking it a little at a time...which is good, for me anyways...i've been hurt several times before and don't really feel like getting crushed again anytime soon so taking it day by day is working well for me...thats not to say that i don't like her that much, cuz i do like her a lot...just sayin...its kinda weird though...she use to be a dancer and a cheerleader...she was and probably still is really popular and all...normally that would put me off because usually you get people who are full of themselves etc but shes intelligent and has a great personality...down to earth...so things are going well
Can't really help it though
Work has been alright...i did an over nighter thursday night/friday morning...i worked 9pm to 7:15am...man was that a long night...every person before who did it didn't have to do shit because the only reason why they were there was because they're having the tile floor re-done...i just happened to get the manager who wanted to do all kinds of shit...worked my ass off...harder work than when i'm there during normally hours...but everythings going well...i was afraid they were going to cut my hours and keep it that way but they're back up to 31 this week so thats good...as long as i stay above 30 i'm happy
Once i start i just can't stop
All of my books and classes are bought and paid for, for the fall semester so thats good...overall it cost like $650ish...which is quite good i think...if i can stop spending money then i'm sure i'll have enough for the spring semester...IF
Its a sickness really
i keep going out with Ashley and Nathan and spending like $20+ a night...chances are i'll be doing the same maybe tomorrow night and thursday...if i keep this up, i'm gonna start selling organs on ebay lol...and i'm not complaining but i'm sure i'll start spending a fair amount on ashley...if you know me real well then you know i like doing that...when i spend money on myself then i feel like crap about it and start thinking "man wtf are you doing? you really didn't need that you idiot" and i start regretting it...but if i spend money on a girl i'm with then its no problem...i'm actually more than happy to do it...and its not like i'm trying to buy my way out of something or trying to buy happiness/love...i just enjoy doing that...like when i buy something it doesn't cross my mind that "hey i'm gonna get something out of this"...see i was raised to have manners and be a gentleman...holding the door open for a girl or helping her up or something...those kinda things...i heard about girls taking offence to that kinda thing...like they take that attitude that they can do it themselves blah blah blah...when a guy does that he's just trying to be nice...but anyways, i do my best to be like that...pay for things, buy her things...treat her right, help her out, respect her...the only thing is, is that being that nice and doing those things can sometimes be a bad thing...i'm a giver and i don't think about the other person giving...by the time i do think about it, its too late and i've realized i've been taken advantage of...but yeah thats the kinda guy i am...kinda went off on a tangeant there but oh well...kinda makes me mad because theres so many people out there who just think of themselves and when you actually do find good people they're usually miserable because the only people they find are assholes like that...just makes them want to be like everyone else just so they won't get hurt...which is wrong...shouldn't be like that...but life sucks like that...but i'm a firm believer that theres someone out there for everyone...shouldn't change the way you are because that one person that you'll eventually be with is gonna treat you right and like you for who you are
okay then i've written too much and if i don't erase this whole entry consider yourself lucky for even reading it...hate opening up like that...then people read it and comment on it...not that i don't like people reading my entries and commenting on them its just that its kinda embarrassing...the more i open up, the more drama there is it seems...okay i'm done...finished
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Friday. 8.5.05 8:55 pm
Man what a long day
I got about 2 hours of sleep...seriously, 2 hours of sleep...because i share a car with my mom, she drove me to work...she decided to take that quality time with just her and i to bitch at me about things she wants me to do...she kept repeating it over and over...first time, okay...second time, hate it but okay still...third time? no...so in a loud tone i said "OKAY, I'LL DO IT"...fourth time "YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT IT, OKAY? I WILL DO IT SO CAN WE PLEASE MOVE PAST THIS SUBJECT?"...oh we have a fifth time "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS!!! I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE! I HAVE WORK TO GET TO!!!!"...god she just wouldn't shut up...i'd yell and there would be like 15 seconds of silence and then she'd lay into me again...god, shut up bitch...i'm not happy in the morning, period, but when i only get 2 hours of sleep and you know i've only had 2 hours of sleep, then you're gonna fuckin get it...then she almost kills me on my way to work...she did the U turn on the feeder road and instead of letting the on coming traffic pass and then go, she jumped right in there and a couple cars had to slam on the brakes...are you an idiot?...then i worked for 8 hours...i came home and you would think after that long period of time, she'd have a better attitude but no...she starts laying into me when she gets home...she mentioned something about the trash and then she said "I'd trust you to..." and i cut in and said "yeah alright, i know you don't trust me"...i have done nothing to her to make her think i'm untrustworthy...bitch...she loves throwing those jabs in there...fuckin pisses me off...i haven't had a decent conversation with her in a long time...i try starting one but then she goes right into bitching at me...its like how do we go from this subject to you bitching at me? is it on your mind constantly...i can just see her now...watching tv and thinking "what can i nag kollin about next time...how can i insult him and make him feel like shit"...after she bitched at me the last time, she started asking about my friends, like she wanted to have a decent conversation...i answered her one question and walked off...what? fuck you...i'm not talking to you after you were a bitch to me all day...can't fuckin stand her...i mean yeah, i love her, but i can't fuckin stand her...you might be thinking "oh he just had a bad day" but no, i really can't stand her...all the time, every single day
So i went to go get pizza and as i'm pulling out, i stop at the four way stop...i let the two cars to my left go and start out and what happens? a third fucker decides to go...excuse me shithead? thats my god damn right of way...so i pulled out until i was like a foot from his car, honk my horn and flip him off...stupid fuck...i'm so sick and tired of these texas drivers...now i'm normally a person who just shrugs these things off but you know what? i'm fuckin tired of it...running red lights, taking my right of way, not using your signal...fuckin idiots here...and merging...OH MY GOD MERGING...LEARN HOW TO MERGE ONTO A HIGHWAY!!!!!...i should not have to either slow down for you or change lanes because you're getting onto the highway...pisses me off...if you're gonna get on the highway, punch it, pick a spot and get in there...don't go slow as shit and disrupt everyone in that lane...roadrage was created here...it had to have been...someone from another state visited texas and went insane on the road because these people are fucking idiots...i had an urge to go after that guy that ran the stop sign, pull up next to him, roll down my window, and bitch him out...fortunately i'm not like that...well i normally don't honk my horn and flip people off either but still, thats more extreme
Fucking mosquito!!!!...won't leave me alone!!!!
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Happy...100,000 Miles Day!!
Thursday. 7.28.05 2:46 am
Woohoo! 100,000 miles baby!!!!
Today is a day which will go down in history...at 2:21 am on July 28th 2005 my 1999 Mercury Mountaineer SUV hit 100,000 miles!!...it was so exciting!!...i wish i had had a camera so i could show all of you...when it hit 100,000 i thought to myself "how could i celebrate this joyous occassion?"...well my baby that i've been driving since i was 16 is only getting older so lets give her one more exciting moment...by going 102 miles per hour down 242!!!...i don't know if thats a big deal or anything to all you people who have fancy sports cars and shit but 102 mph in my 6 year old SUV is not too shabby...i was fortunate not to have any police cars go on that road...i have seen some at that time of night for some reason...47 miles over the speed limit...that one would have hurt lol..."but officer, i was merely celebrating my car reaching 100,000 miles...in my personal opinion this should only be a warning *kollin gets handcuffed*"...i just don't know what else to say...*gets teary eyed* i'm just so happy
"Can i use your el trucko to get to the next towno?"
Okay onto other things...hmm other things...well i'm backing up my CD collection...i must say, backing up 957 CD's is no easy task...i'm ripping all of my CD's to my dad's laptop and then putting them all on DVD's...i figure 70 to 90 CD's should fit on each DVD...some of my CD's are pretty scratched...the ones that are like 7 or 8 years old...but the great majority of them don't skip...i take care of my CD's and they last a long time...if it came down to it, i'd save them over you (haha i'm joking...well for some of you anyways)...if i had to guess, i'd say i'm like mehh 25% done...maybe 30% done
So i've been shelling out money like crazy...its nice to call your bank and see that you have $1,000 in your bank account...of course it sucks that 2 days after you put all that money in there, you're giving it away to other people...i think of it this way since the great majority goes to college...i'm working my ass off full time 5 days a week to give 95% of my paycheck to a place i absolutely hate going to...does this make sense? i'm paying for something i hate...and i wanna buy so many things with my money!...i have a list of 250 CD's that i need to shorten!...NCAA football 2006 and Madden NFL 2006 are games i cannot go without!...i could go on and on...bottom line: i hear kidneys are going for $150,000 and i have one to spare! (you're damn right CD's and video games are worth it!)
"Harry, i took care of it okay?"
So my mom's birthday is on friday...*sighs* damnit i have to shell out more money...birthdays, holidays, college, blah blah blah...i want some money to spend on me damnit!!!...as i was saying, i was hoping to be cheap and maybe get her a CD or something worth $20 but today she was like "if you're getting me something i want this or this"...which "this or this" costs at least $35 each at best buy...for those of you who don't know me well, i'm extremely cheap and its very painful to spend money...i mean come on, aren't our long, daily arguments, i mean conversations enough of a loving gift?
"Six bucks and my left nut says we're not landing in Chicago"
Other than that i really have nothing...work, watch tv, sleep, work, watch tv, sleep...its a continuous thing...stressing over money, feeling like giving up, people annoying me...just nothing new really...i tried pepsi vanilla today...better than vanilla coke...although i'm not a big fan of coke as it is...oh i got a haircut the other day...my hair looks horrible no matter what i do to it but i do look even more stupid when its really short
"*crumples up paper in the shape of...* a goose!"
Well its not that long but i don't have much to say...21 comments on my last entry...niiiice...second most for me...keep commenting people...happy 100,000 miles Mountaineer!
Oh whoever gets where all of my quotes are from gets a prize
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