I'm pretty sure that everyone who uses any instant messaging program has at least one of these things. I know I always have lots. I just don't want to keep making new posts just to show them. :P

Feel free to post your own conversations. I'll probably double-post a lot since I have so much to share...

Me: you KNOW that would never work
Angie: whatever
Angie: its like your plan to destroy humanity
Me: ...
Me: a girl can have dreams!

Joey:
if i was at a blind internet date, and i never seen this girl, and we met at a resturaunt the next day
Joey:
and she was REALLY REALLY fat
Joey:
and REALLY REALLY ugly
Joey:
would it hurt to tell her?
Me:
er...

basically, its a awards show that came on about video games, and my friend was talking about how gay that conpect of video games having an award show is, and describing how that is an horrible idea having a Awards show for video games, comparing it to "Satanists throwing a party for Lucifer"

But what's wrong with Satanists throwing a party for Lucifer? :S

Satanists throwing a party for Lucifer is basically pointless, as they worship him, and honor him already, and you don't need to have a special party to honor Lucifer.... as satanists are the only people worshipping Lucifer, and are the only people that should be marketed or have lucifer directed at them

Just like with video games, a award show honoring them is pointless, b/c video games should be marketed to gamers, and not to everyone else that has no interest in playing video games

Ohhhh okay.

Me: i have pie, but i don't know if i want to eat it because i had a lot of junkfood yesterday
Angie: wow. you have pie.
Angie: what kind of pie?
Me: baby!
Me: no, it's apple
Me: APPLE FLAVORED BABY!
Me: not really
Me: i'm not sure why i'm obsessed with eating babies
Me: and throwing them up
Angie: ....
Angie: get some therapy

Angie: omg can you imagine?
Angie: "minors may not buy sexual stimulators"
Me: haha
Me: or a senator
Me: "we need to protect our children from kinky sex!"
Me: "and keep it to ourselves!"
Angie: damn...
Angie: i'd LOVE to see that
Me: that would be pretty hilarious
Me: more so if he was wearing a gimp suit
Me: with a jacket and tie over it
Me: they should have things where you can submit ideas to shows
Me: we could totally submit that
Angie: hell yeah

Me: is your boss asian-asian?
Angie: she has the accent, but her english is good
Angie: it kinda has to be if she's running this center
Angie: i suspect she's native to china
Angie: but she had a dream of...spreading the asian people philosophy of how to teach your kids
Me: this is why i would never work there

Me: so you do or don't have a camera?
Angie: i don't
Me: okay...
Me: well hopefully someone on your team does, then
Angie: the hell...
Angie: does a cellphone camera with virtually no memory left count?
Me: uh....
Me: well you should be able to take pictures of at least ten things
Angie: this is bull****!
Me: tsk, says you
Angie: okay but i don't want to be on ron's team
Me: that's not up to me, man
Me: if he decides to pick you...'
Angie: or marvin's for that matter
Me: they're both team captains!
Angie: you know what, you're the one behind all this so pull some goddamn strings!
Angie: i dont want to be with either of those douchebags
Me: hey, i invited those douchebags so we could have a b'grl prty!
Angie: OH, oh, that's what you wanted?
Me: yeah, it is!
Angie: then go to a fecking strip club, we can get laid and everything!
Me: i can't believe you'd say that!
Angie: if you wanna talk boy girl, then move to san francisco
Me: i just wanted us to experience something new!
Angie: really? well you didnt seem to want to "experience" when i suggested that thing last week
Me: since when is a gangbang a good experience! i'm not a nympho!
Angie: ...no the other thing
Angie: and it's dogpile, not "gangbang"
Me: whatever, you say melonfest, i say taco party
Angie: but in the end, we both like boobs
Me: well Marvin and Ron are both total boobs
Me: so you should like them
Angie: i mean the hot kind of boobs!
Me: they're not super ugly
Angie: the one's attached to women
Me: Marvin and his sister are Siamese twins!
Angie: good god that's his sister?
Angie: i thought that was a tumor
Me: no, her name's Tracy, and she's very.... smart
Angie: doesnt change the fact that she's a tumor
Me: she is NOT a tumor
Angie: well she lives like one
Me: .....fine
Me: you win that one
Me: but this isn't over!
Angie: what isn't over?
Angie: do you want to try that thing now?
Me: it's slipped my mind, what was it?
Angie: dodgeball

Me: "oh my god Charles, there's a baby in our mailbox!"
Me: "oh... wait... it's one of those potty dolls"
Me: "CHARLES THERE'S A POTTY DOLL IN OUR MAILBOX!"
Varsha: "FINALLY, GEORGETTE, OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!"
Varsha: "quick, get little markie, and tell him to do whatever the dolly does"
Me: "Markie, the neighbor boy? The one we keep in the basement?"
Varsha: "yeah, that's the kid. it's high time he gets off peeing on newspaper and uses the damn toilet. we have to send him into society soon!"
Me: "it's a good thing his parents gave up searching for him and moved to Nebraska"
Varsha: "they'll never find him. *evil laughter* after we change his name to freddie and take him to the plastic surgeon on wednesday, he'll be able to be our new son"
Me: "i'm glad he's gone blind. He'll never know what happened"
Varsha: "he'll just feel the slight tweak of a needle pricking his taught, taught flesh...*slobber"
Varsha: *slobber*"
Me: "oh Charles, i love being a cannibal"
Varsha: "as do i, georgette, as do i. whip out that barbeque pit, will you, and i'll take bridgette out of the freezer."
Me: "cannibalism and this eating-our-children fetish makes my life ever so exciting!"
Varsha: "and living exciting lives is what we live for. live, live, LIVE!"
Me: "kiss me you cannibal monster!"
Varsha: "TO THE STOCKS WITH YOU! I NEED FRESH MEAT FOR MY MINCEMEAT PIE!"
Me: "no, no Charles! I thought you loved me!"
Varsha: "there is a fine line between love and hunger. take her away, guards!"
Me: "guards? What guards! We live in a quiet suburb in North Dakota!"
Me: "Charles i think there's something wrong with you!"
Varsha: "no, there's nothing wrong with me! all the fairies and unicorns and dwarves and of blackehnsivia can't save you now! wahahaha!"
Me: "no Charles!" -sob-
Varsha: "you don't believe me mad, do you? have YOU crossed the line into insanity? to the stocks! the elves are singing with me, "to the stocks, to the stocks!""
Me: "Charles i would never- you know i would never- i've always had faith in you, always!"
Varsha: "TO THE STOCKS, THE STOCKS, WOOHOO! TO MEAT PLANTS AND THE BARBEQUE! TO THE STOCKS, THE STOCKS, WEEHEE! TO FILLING MY BELLY WITH GLEE TOO!"
Me: -falls to the floor-
Varsha: *dances around the body with a bread knife and a maniacal grin*
Me: -fainted-
Me: -or has had a heartattack, you can't tell-
Varsha: (haha)
Varsha: *has a look of concern which quickly goes away as he prepares to douse a leg with water before hacking it away*
Me: -does nothing, is most likely dead-
Varsha: "to frankenstein, to reanimate this body! i shan't live without a mate!"
Me: -still dead-
Me: -or just reeeeeeeally unconscious-
Varsha: "to the batmobile!"
Me: -inanimate-
Varsha: *flings body into a wagon and clips wagon to his motorcycle*
Me: -li'l bit of saliva leaking out of mouth-
Varsha: "whee!!!"
Me: -not moving, good chance of being dead-
Me: -but wait, was that a finger twitch-
Varsha: "dost thou move?"
Me: -nope, false alarm-
Varsha: "damn!"
Me: -REM?-
Varsha: "wakey, wakey!"
Me: "Ch-Charles...?"
Varsha: "you're awake! thank you! now i don't have to pay frankenstein!"
Me: "Frankenstein?"
Varsha: "uh....yeah, i thought you were...uh, dead"
Me: "i thought you were going to kill me?"
Varsha: "yeah, but...i realized that my feelings for you these past 17 years of our marriage really meant something for me"
Me: "oh Charles, i'm so happy to hear you say that"
Varsha: "as am i!"
Varsha: "as. am. i"
Me: "kiss me Charles!"
Varsha: "the phone is ringing! i must answer it!"
Me: "noooo Charles!"
Varsha: *picks up phone and hears dialtone*
Varsha: "hello!"
Me: "Charles.... i'm going to go make dinner"
Varsha: "yay! bridgette for dinner!"
Me: "Bridgette brisket, cooked the way you like"
Varsha: "aw, hun, you know what rocks my world"
Me: "what?"
Varsha: "yeah, petey? stonehenge is awesome!"
Me: "i guess i'll go defrost the meat, then"
Me: -takes Bridgette out of the freezer-
Me: "oh dear! Sweetheart, we're out of marinade"
Varsha: "no!!!!! you've made me angry! and you know how i get when i'm angry...."
Varsha: *turns into...the HULK!!!*
Me: "no! No! I can... I can get more! Please just stay calm!"
Varsha: "ARGH!
Me: -runs out to car-
Me: -drives to market-
Varsha: "BLARGHASDFIJSH"
Me: -buys marinade-
Varsha: "ME WANT FOOD NOW!!!!"
Me: -drives back quickly-
Me: -makes food-
Me: -serves food-
Me: "here.... -gasp- you... -huff- go... darling..."
Varsha: "YUM!"
Varsha: hey, dude
Varsha: i gotta go :-(
Me: alright
Me: see ya 'round
Varsha: thanks for the food :-)
Me: thanks for the... uh.... seventeen sort of happy years of marriage

(11:46:01 PM) Kagaboo: ...Sorry.
They call me premenstrual cat.
(11:46:06 PM) Kagaboo: -nomnomnom-
(11:46:08 PM) Kevin: x.x....
(11:46:14 PM) Kevin: Premens-
(11:46:16 PM) Kagaboo: Yes.
(11:46:20 PM) Kevin: Nope. I'm not taking you home.
(11:46:23 PM) Kevin: *puts down*
(11:46:25 PM) Kagaboo: Meow?
(11:46:26 PM) Kevin: *runs*
(11:46:28 PM) Kagaboo: MROW?
(11:46:31 PM) Kagaboo: MEOW?
(11:46:32 PM) Kevin: *RUNS*
(11:46:36 PM) Kagaboo: MEOW?
(11:46:40 PM) Kagaboo: MEOW?
(11:46:42 PM) Kevin: *is gone*
(11:46:43 PM) Kagaboo: MEOW?
(11:46:45 PM) Kevin: *long gone*
(11:46:50 PM) Kagaboo: MEEEEOW?

Kagaboo = Unicornasaurus
Kevin = yourcupoftea.

:3

I have no idea what's up with all the meowing, but the premenstrual cat thing made me laugh. :P

To make him horribly guilty for leaving me all alone.

(11:54:23 PM) Kevin: By the way.
(11:54:34 PM) Kevin: I totally wanted to come back and get the cat.
(11:54:34 PM) Kevin: D:
(11:54:42 PM) Kevin: The meowing was heartbreaking.

Sneaky. ;P