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General Discussion » General Chat's Chicken » How many ways are there to die (physically)?
randomjunk | How many ways are there to die (physically)? - Posted on 2007-01-15 00:40:24
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I'm bored, if you think this is morbid too bad. :) Face it, everybody dies sooner or later. Might as well go out with a bang. Or a splat....

There are no rules about what you can say, except for no repeats and it has to be realistic (as in no getting burned up by a dragon, speared by a unicorn, etc.)

1. Swallow a bomb (personal favorite)
2. Skydive without a parachute (second personal favorite)
3. Hijack a gas truck and crash it into a retirement home
4. Hanging
5. Stabbing
6. Guillotine
7. Lethal injection
8. Amateur acupuncture
9. Literally being bored to death (it could probably happen...)
10. Do-it-yourself surgery

Care to contribute?

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AmbyrJayde | Untitled - Posted on 2007-08-05 13:13:39
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you are playing the harmonica at a band party, a crazy diseased guy walks up and starts ranting, the guy next to you goes to hit the guy with his guitar, diseased man ducks and the guitar hits the harmonica down your throat and you slowly choke on it (while playing random hideosly off key notes)

guess what thats from

oh and 32 pages that awesome

randomjunk | Untitled - Posted on 2007-08-10 00:39:21
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Someone stabs your eyes out and locks you in a room with a butterknife. You can't see anything, but you have the butterknife in your hands. Since you can't see, you can't really escape. You can't use the butterknife to kill yourself because it's not sharp enough. You have to slowly saw off pieces of your flesh to feed yourself, and you die of infection.

Horsepixels | Untitled - Posted on 2007-08-11 02:02:29
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Oooh. What about stepping into a spot that has no pressure? You asplode! Or with too much pressure. Then you implode. Faaaaancy! Hmm. What about getting bitten by a rabid hobo? Or cannabalizing yourself only to find out that you'd just eaten one of your vital organs? Oooooor you could drink some antifreeze. ;D That sounds lovely. Oooh. Or you could slip while using your wetsaw and saw yourself in half!


During an experiment in your totally great science class, you experience pressurelessness or too much pressureyfulness (I'm making up words over here) sucked into the little vortex you explode making pretty, but rather grody fleshworks for the janitor to clean up later. And a pretty messy lawsuit that no lawyer can sweep under the rug.

Who said Compton was a horrid place? Ehhh...Half of the sane population. You're minding your own business when some freaky person decides to be stupid and get under your feet. The thingy claws at you, then with a foamy mouth, bites you twelve times. Suckage.

Nummy, nummy, nummy, I got flesh in mah tummy! You're sitting around in a torture chamber, CIA people aren't all that great are they, and you're freakishly and inconceivably hungry. So ya start munching on yourself only to find that you've ingested your poor tummy-box. Good bye world, see you...nevermind. Just Good bye.

Oh woe is you, it was an innocent act! You were just doing your job working on your wet saw, but nooooooo! You just had to slip, didn't 'cha? Well, you fall smack down on the wet saw and whaddya know? We have ourselves a human-wet saw sandwich!

randomjunk | Untitled - Posted on 2007-08-12 00:11:03
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Well, those were very enthusiastic sounding descriptions. :P

You're changing the lights in a high chandelier and you accidently trip, fall off the ladder, and while trying not to plummet down you grab and hang yourself with the cord.

Horsepixels | Untitled - Posted on 2007-08-12 17:30:45
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83 Thank ya, I try my best.

Here's for a more child friendly (and unbraggable) death
Whoooo! You're in the shower. However, you stumble a little while washing your hair with your eyes closed. You fall back, attempting to save yourself by grabbing the stream of water, but you end up falling back and your head lands in the toilet. Lucky you. You were knocked out before you drowned. ;D

randomjunk | Untitled - Posted on 2007-08-12 20:55:58
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Hahaha wonder what the epitaph would look like. :P

"Here lies _____,
Buried and dead
Fell in the toilet
And flushed his/her head"

You're walking towards the stairs [going down] in your house at night when suddenly there's a blackout. You know that the circuit breaker is downstairs so you try and feel your way down the staircase... but you trip and fall over the side of the stairs and get knocked out for a minute or two. When you awake your house is in ruins and there's a large cabinet lying on top of you, crushing most of your body. It turns out there was an earthquake and you die before they can rescue you.

Horsepixels | Untitled - Posted on 2007-08-12 23:54:24
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XDDDD I love that epitaph! o___o That would freakin' suck.

How's about this one?

You're eating a lollipop and using the hedge clippers to make purdee animals on your lawn, celebrating the first day that you don't have to deal with your asshole of a boss for your day job when somebody drives by and throws a lemon at you. But hey, you can't let a good lemon go to waste! (Who cares if they might've injected it with heroine or something, lucky you, I suppose) In your moment of stun-yfulness, you throw the hedge clippers back so you can catch the lemon which promptly explodes in your hands squirting into your eyes. You trip over a root and fall back, spearing yourself over the hedge clippers. Too bad you quit your day job. 8C

randomjunk | Untitled - Posted on 2007-08-13 22:09:38
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You're in the kitchen, making baked goods. You've heated up the oven and are about to put the batter into a baking pan. You're a bit tired though, so you yawn and accidently spill some of the batter on the floor. You don't notice it though. You pour the rest of the mixture into the pan and open the oven... only to slip on the stuff you spilled and fall partway into the oven. In a panic you try and get up, but smack your head on the top of the oven really hard and knock yourself unconscious. Your brain bakes.

And now for a lame joke:

"Now THAT'S what I call brainfood!"

ShaShaBoo | HAHAHAHHAHA - Posted on 2007-08-14 00:52:06
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That's an elbow slapper!


Illicit | Untitled - Posted on 2007-08-14 20:57:27
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Way to turn a horribly morbid question into a challenging, creative, and actually humorous event.


I don't see bright futures for very many of us...

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