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theZEBRA
just spent the weekend at the army barracks
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One would be in less danger
From the wiles of a stranger
If one's own kin and kith
Were more fun to be with.

Ogden Nash
Rarrgh Rarrrgh!
Saturday. 9.15.07 12:54 pm
I have returned.

To those among you who cursed the skies and pleaded with the gods every time you checked my blog only to find it still unchanged, I apologise for my absence. To those who didn’t, may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

Enough of that. I shall now entertain you with live blogging from the frontlines. Because isn’t that what being part of the media generation is about? Amusing ourselves with news of war from the safety of our couches (or leather contoured executive chair with dual wheel carpet casters) miles and miles away? Yes, it’s war here right now.

WAR?, I hear you ask, pretending to be shocked while in reality you’re rubbing your hands with excitement. Yes, war. It’s the age-old battle between humans and zombies. I’m still alive, thank the gods for that. But survival has been no easy task. Hiding out in bushes, crawling under cars, noiselessly flitting from shadow to shadow. All this while being on constant alert for shambling corpses with a taste for man-sushi (or mushi as Nick Frost calls it).


Brody Heritage, 2007


It’s nerve-wracking being in this much danger for days on end. Risking my life just to get to class and work. Oh, I may be equipped with a veritable arsenal of nerf darts and balled-up socks but I still feel exposed and vulnerable with the bright bandanna on my arm practically shouting, “Come and get it! It’s a running buffet!” to the enemy. The tension is getting to me. Just yesterday, I caught someone by surprise and pelted him with darts and socks. It was only after he shrieked like a girl and ran face-first into a wall that I realised he was an innocent bystander who had unwittingly marked himself out as a zombie by wearing a bandanna around his head. That’ll teach him to dress like a twat.


Brody Heritage, 2007


I wish my boyfriend was here to give me backup. (Do you like how I casually mentioned the sudden existence of a boyfriend? It’s called a teaser, noobs.) With his military special forces training in guerrilla fighting and war strategy, we would take out the zombie faction in no time at all. But alas, he is stranded 600km away and I am left to fight the walking dead on my own.

I will be strong. I will survive. Pray for me.


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Recommended by 3 Members
Noacat Chloefoxx Dilated
17 Comments.


I am definately feeling the nerf rocket launcher...
» beekr on 2007-09-15 01:30:59

You should see that baby go! It even whistles as it flies...not v good for stealth attacks tho.
» theZEBRA on 2007-09-15 01:38:56

Yeah, go get those zombies!
» randomjunk on 2007-09-15 01:39:03

Yes, it takes cunning and speed! I have neither. So it looks like I'm gonna have to rely on sheer luck.
» theZEBRA on 2007-09-15 02:00:20

Sounds like a tight situation you got there
Maybe a samurai sword to go one-on-one with? Chop their head off??
» Xboyz on 2007-09-15 02:27:08

Yay!! Zebra's back!!
I thought you were kidnapped by the snowmans! Take that zombies for messing with the zebra for she'll eat you instead when she runs out of rocket launchers and balled up socks.
» Nuttz on 2007-09-15 04:46:41

Warren, my darling, my sweetheart, are you feeling alone?
» Paul (219.95.93.90) on 2007-09-15 06:35:33

I wish I was there to fight the good fight with you!

I'll keep a lookout for zombies in Alabama, but it's oftentimes difficult to distinguish them from rednecks. I'll try my hardest.
» Chloefoxx on 2007-09-15 04:19:12

double-bladed staff
would do the trick. *SLICE* Off with their heads! Done. Why waste your socks? Keep your pretty ankles warm and make a fashion statement. *wink*
» Silver-dot- on 2007-09-15 08:38:27


Xboyz: I'm afraid I left my samurai sword back in KL. Was afraid I wouldn't be able to get it through customs.

Nuttz: I'm glad to be back!!! Nope, not the snowmen. I was kidnapped by the kangaroos. They needed a punching bag for boxing practice.

Paul: He won't be once you come here to claim him!

Chloefoxx:Sounds like you've got your job cut out for you in Alabama. Thank you anyway, fellow brave warrior!

Silver-dot-: More violence!!! Hmm, no double-bladed staff like that either. Would an extremely sharp chopper do?
» theZEBRA on 2007-09-16 12:07:14

a machine gun would do the trick in no time.
» vimalan (59.167.204.175) on 2007-09-16 12:50:26

Vimalan: I don't think they make nerf machine guns. We had sock grenades though!
» theZEBRA on 2007-09-16 05:34:42

Best post ever! Good luck to you, brave soldier. I'll keep you in my prayers.
» Noacat on 2007-09-16 11:16:36

Noacat: Too late, I'm afraid...
» theZEBRA on 2007-09-16 12:39:39

Are those TMNT socks? I see you have a wide array of different socks. That's a move most wise, as it makes tracing the culprit all the more harder.
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