So, today was a quite stressful day. And, it all actually started yesterday. You see, and about 1 pm I headed out to my car to go to work. I turn him on, reverse, and shift into drive. Push accelerator...umm...push accelerator...umm...this is where you go Tyler. So, after about three seconds we lurch forward. I panic and pull into an open parking spot a couple spaces down. I leave the car on and call my dad. No answer, so I leave him a short message explaining my issue. I told him I would let the car warm up a little more and drive it around the parking lot a few time to see if the same thing happened again. - My car has always been a little jerky in the cold weather, but never this bad. - So, we warm up for about 5 minutes while I mess with my cd player and gather up and organize the crap in my car.Drive him around and he is lurching a little bit less. After a couple runs around the parking lot, I decide to go to the bank...I had to deposit my checks, and the bank is only about 3 mile away, max...So, I do all that and get the best parking spot on campus when I get back. I have just turned off my car when my dad calls. I tell him what happened and tell him I think it's a transmission issue. So, he explains all this transmission stuff to me and tells me to go to the guy who changes my oil and have them check the transmission fluid and ask how much a filter and flush for the transmission would be. So, I do this and all seems to be well. The mechanic, Larry, gives me a quote for the filter and flush and a card for Allstate Transmissions in Richardson with a recommendation to go there and get a free inspection and diagnosis. So, I go back and get a crappy parking spot and call my dad and tell him what Larry said. Dad says go as soon as I can to Richardson, so, after class today I went straight up there. I get there at about 215. I tell Kim Knight that Larry from Meineke sent me and what my car is doing. After about an hour, he pulls me into the garage and Luis, a Mexican who barely speaks English tells me the problems. After not really understanding him and hearing many loud disturbing noises, Kim brings me back into his office and goes over everything again. I have a leak between my transmission and motor and between the coolant hose and transmission, as well as my car failing the tests for shifting from 1st to 2nd, 2nd to 3rd, and 3rd to 4th (3rd to 4th being the worst slip) and all the transmission fluid is burnt. So, about now I'm panicking because I know he is going to tell me we need to just get a new transmission, and I know there is no way in hell my dad is going to pay for that. So, back to the Legend for me. He goes on to explain he can't quote me anything because he can't see into my transmission and there is no way to tell which of the (literally) 2000 parts are broken/worn/cracked/etc. He shows me all kinds of cool parts and explains that he will only order and fix the parts necessary to cut down on cost. I tell him I need to talk to my dad, and then we'll figure out what to do. I call Dad and of course there is no answer. So I leave the usual "Call me now!" sweet message. Kim tells me to drive as little as possible and Dad can call him at the office until 6pm. I am about halfway between Allstate and SMU and Dad calls back. I give him the number and continue on my way. I get back and talk to Jess a little bit, and in less than five minutes, Dad calls. "Do you have time to take your car back now?" "Well, yeah." "Ok, do that and get they'll get you a rental car." OK, back we go. Kim explains everything again. Then Luis drives me to Enterprise to get a rental. BUT, I can't rent a car because I'm not 21, and after prying a little more, I find that if my insurance agent approves, I can get one. SO, I go back to Allstate. Then I have to try to reach the agent I have been calling all week. At 5 o'clock, Kim asks me if it's alright to just wait until tomorrow if I can't get a hold of the agent. I say it's fine, and he offers to give me a ride back to SMU. I ask him to wait just a minute because I think my suitmate can. I call Jess and give her directions. Then I call my mom to find out if there is another way to get a hold of my agent. She tells me that our agent changed and she had no idea where the new paperwork was. After about 25 minutes of searching, she finds this number. So, at 525 I call my insurance lady, the car rental place closes @ 6 and Jess is stuck in rush-hour traffic in construction. I explain to the lady about all the crap with the rental place. She said my policy would cover the rental car as long as I pay for it. So, she calls Enterprise just to let them know I am coming. Jess shows up @ Allstate @ 545 and we race to Enterprise. I rush in like a madman and sign up to get a car. Well, you need a major credit card, $150 deposit and through Allstate it would be $25/day. So, my major credit card is a debit card. Which means that money is taken out ($225.00) immeadiately. Yikes!! Fortunately I went to the bank yesterday. And of course, she gave away the last car right before me. So, now I have a little dark red Chevy Colorado. And I like it. And, so after 4 hours of car crap, my car is getting fixed, Jess and I ate at one of my favorite restaurants and I have a rental so I got to go to the gym. Relief is mine, at least for the moment. Sorry it was so long, but I actually trimmed it down quite a bit. Many an important detail was scrapped, but you all get the picture. Good nightses.

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I read too much. It's as simple as that. Christina introduced me to her new Kappa A when she came over last Friday. He took one look at my bookshelf and we had a thirty minute conversation about Anne Rice and JK Rowling. Sad, I know. The worst is that he promised a conversation about Stephen King and Dean Koontz in the future. Creepy to the max. That was when I realized it, time to move ahead again. You see, I have been reading these authors since the fifth grade(minus Rowling since seventh), and they are definitely in the top five favorites. I have read almost all of their books at least twice and usually several times. Not to mention that Ash just had an entry about Rice and when I saw Ashton in Starbucks before I came back up here, we talked about her...as we do every time we see each other since we met a year and a half ago. So, I figure that despite the fact that I own or have access to all of their books, I need to start again on some newer authors. First person I ask on who to check out - my mom. My mom and dad have introduced me to every great author I know. Except Rowling, which I oddly enough credit to my sister and her discovering Harry Potter on accident long before Rowling was popular in the US. She has read almost every book ever written. And I credit her and my father for my love of literature, my large vocabulary and the fact that I am more than well read and my fear of fast food hamburgers (Robin Cook's Toxin - my mom encouraged me to read it). So, she told me to check out Philippa Gregory, her currently most read. And, as usual, I am impressed. Although, my trouble comes when I realized while I was at the book store yesterday, Tad Williams next book just came out, and I want to read it now. But I stick to my decision. No Kafka, Patterson, Rice, King, Williams, Dante, Koontz, Clancy, Iles, etc. until I finish Gregory's books. Or June because that is when the next Harry Potter comes out. Although I don't think she has written enough to keep me occupied for that long. So, in conclusion, my mom and dad own the literary world, and I plan on owning to someday. But, they will be a tough act to beat. I've read hundreds, but they've read thousands and thousands. Someday, I shall meet them.

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I will not make the same mistakes that you did I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery.I will not break the way you did, you fell so hard. I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me. Because of you I am afraid.

I lose my way and it's not too long before you point it out. I cannot cry because you know that's weakness in your eyes. I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everyday of my life. my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me. Because of you I am afraid.

I watched you die. I heard you cry every night in your sleep. I was so young. You should have known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else;
you just saw your pain, And now I cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing.

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in. Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty. Because of you
I am afraid.

Because of you...Because of you.

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so, today has been the third day of my nausea. i tried so hard to ignore the first two days. i just hoped and hoped it was only something i ate. i mean, that has happened before. and i tried to blame it on other things. but no, it's here bright and early again today. so, today officially starts three months of nausea. why three? well, ever since i moved back to texas, i would have the worst nausea from january all the way to march. well, go see a doctor!! yeah, done that. i had my blood tested earlier this year, and they found absolutely nothing wrong. I have eaten according to special diets, detoxed and even not eaten at all. nothing has yet been successful. although, when i had an unusual bout of nausea early this year, those jason's deli salads sure were a good thing. i dunno, maybe i'll find some miracle cure somewhere. or, i will be going on a mostly rice diet in hopes of absorbing all my stomach acid and never being nauseous again. yay!!

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Let me see...what to bore you with this morning...Well, I'm awake at 2:23 for some ungodly reason. I finally managed to get home. I still haven't called Colleen or Eric or the Kazakh. My car is in the shop, but it should be done in a day or two. I miss it so. Right now I am driving Mum's Beemer during the day and Dad's stinky little Acura at night. (Dad has paranoia about me driving the Beemer without insurance, so I drive it when he isn't home) Thank God he wants to get himself another car. I'm mean, the Acura isn't horrible, it just kinda, umm, well...sucks...a lot. In other news, I have almost completed housebreaking Angus. And I have spent the majority of my evenings watching movies with Harris, Ash, Pete, and Kollin. Quite enjoyable, seeing as I'm not the big socialite and I don't really like people very much. What else, what else? Well, one of the ergs at 24 hour fitness almost killed me today. The chain is all rusty, and it was kinda scary. I live a high stress lifestyle. My aunt claims I'm becoming a much more positive, relaxed person though. I think she's nuts. I'm not so sure I want to do rowing anymore. I hate waking up in the morning. I like rice. Good night.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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