If I don't get a chance to say it...
Sunday. 12.31.06 11:06 am
Thursday. 12.28.06 2:40 pm
A couple days to go til the ball drops and right now all I'm thinking about is what's going to happen.
I've already made my prediction to the upcoming year, it will be one to remember. I can tell you this, after 2007, nothing will ever be the same again. On the numerology standpoint 2007 breaks down to the number 9 (2 + 0 + 0 + 7 = 9) and "9" usually means stands for endings. So a lot is going to finally end this coming year for a lot of people.
Then again, if you really want to get this individually, you have to take the new year, add those numbers to your month and your day of birth, and you get what your year is going to be like. Since my month and day adds up to "11", it's almost a set up for master numbers to pop up. (A whole nother topic for another time)
But yeah, this coming year is going to be a year not many will forget. You mark my words. After this year is done, nothing will ever be the same again.
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This had me laughing so hard I actually cried
Tuesday. 12.19.06 9:04 am
Monday. 12.18.06 12:11 am
We have not physically crossed any lines. We have not walked into forbidden territory, however we're walking the cliff's edge, watching the other from the opposite side.
I enjoy our times together and sometimes the glimpses of closeness and the moments when we are alone have me singing the next morning "I could have danced all night".
But we still don't cross that line out of respect and out of one circumstance.
I do not envy nor dislike the woman that is between us. She just is, therefore this situation is how it must be for now.
But I wonder when he is with her, does he feel guilt when on occasion the time spent with her, his thoughts will trail to me? Does he feel the need to fight it harder?
Is that why this evening during my bath, I felt my energy sap out of me like I was just hit by a truck? I know he was with her at the time. I am rarely wrong when it comes to this. I know it had something to do with your thoughts of me.
I fought it, but realized fighting this would be like a pebble fighting an ocean current. I can try, but I'd be swept away with the tide.
So I will continue to stand on the opposite shore, watching, speaking, yet not crossing, until circumstances change and you build a bridge to cross this distance between us.
Then your thoughts of being with me will bear no guilt, and I'm free to tell you what I truly feel. I have not lied to you, I have told you the truth, but not the whole truth. One day you will ask and I will tell you.
But for now if the most I could do is hold you near and be a person you can talk to, then I will accept my place in your world.
Because one day soon, you're going to have to find your place in mine.
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Saturday. 12.16.06 2:42 pm
I wear my heart on my sleeve, so please be careful. I fall hard, and love harder. If you don't want to hurt me, don't break me.
It's just that simple.
Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: hurt [t], love [t], trust [t], respect [t]
Thursday. 12.14.06 4:22 pm
I need something to divert my attention to what's going on presently in my head, namely what I saw yesterday which I really wish I did not see, however I did, and therefore I have to deal with it.
I saw some photos that really that raised more than a few eyebrows, and I was IMed something by a guy I have no interest in.
All in all, it's been a very odd day. LOL
But since I'll be working tonight, I will have to find something to divert my attention towards to keep my head on straight while I work. And yes, this has something to do with the posts I had made prior.
Take a deep breath Jan... everything will be alright. Must find my center, my calm.
*Mommy!*
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