Wow!　Long time no see Nutang! It's been a long time since I've logged in here. I've been pretty busy since I was last here. I moved around the country a few times, started studying Japanese much more effectively than I used to, and am going to a university for computer programming. All in all, I've been incredibly busy. Definitely happy that it's winter break though, it's going to be a while before I get a nice long break like this. I'm still slaving away full time, but right now I'm slaving away working in the back office of AT&T. It's pretty stressful at times, but mostly because of the constant interruptions from my co-workers/boss, what I'm actually doing is really easy.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

First day of my brand new job! I start at 8:00 AM C.S.T. I'm glad to finally have a job, since I haven't had any work in 5 months, and haven't had any full time work in almost 18 months. This has been insane! I ate my last pack of ramen noodles yesterday, and was promptly terrified. Then I realized that I know how to make bread, and I have flour and yeast and a bread maker. Then I realized I didn't have any salt, so my bread will collapse while baking. I'll figure out something though. I learned how to make hard tack, which is just water and flour, and heat. It tastes alright, but it's obviously not bread. Still good when you're hungry though! Okay. I'm about to head out now. I've got a 5 mile walk ahead of me before I get to work. Oh yeah, my car is broken down too. Fun times :D

Comment! (3) | Recommend!

First day of work was yesterday. Apparently, only the first day of work is in the building I'll be working at in 6 weeks. For the next 6 weeks, I'll actually be training in a building that is all the way across town. Unfortunately, I can't walk there. Thankfully though, a guy from class has offered to come pick me up. That worked out pretty well. He'll be here soon, so I can't write a long entry. My walk yesterday left me with some pretty nasty blisters, but it was fun seeing if that walk was something I could do. Whelp, that's about it for now. I am so glad that I have a job now. It takes so much stress out of my life. Not only am I able to be away from everyone in the house for about a third of the day, I'm earning money for it too!

Oh speaking of earning money, I got started on Amazon's Mechanical Turk program. It's alright, but it's slow income. I can see myself devoting maybe an hour to it per day. I earned 1.34 for about 30 minutes of work yesterday. If I'm not to busy, it's something to do in my spare time. Boring as hell though, but something to do if I know just need some spending money. I'm sure if I worked a bit harder and used my resources to find more profitable HITs, I could easily bump up my earnings. I'll have to investigate.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

Well, actually I can. Just not a good one. A water line broke under my house, and I caught it. When my front yard was flooded. So this morning, my water was shut off. I couldn't go on a walk, I couldn't brush my teeth, I couldn't take a shower, I couldn't wash fresh clothes. I was pretty angry. Heading out to work in 25 minutes, hopefully will be fixed before I get back.

Comment! (3) | Recommend!

Man, this sucks. I just got paid for my first week of work. Enough to pay half my rent and get my car filled up, and have a bit left over for lunch at work, and various expenses. Now my car broke. The front wheels are shaking like they're about to fall off. Taking it to a mechanic is going to cost 700-800 dollars. Why is this happening now. Why couldn't it have happened after I set up my emergency fund? I've got two weeks left that I can rely on a guy at work for a ride, but after that we'll have different schedules and I won't have anyone to pay for rides. I hate this. Why does every week have something bad happen?

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

The season ending of Doctor Who was amazing. I cannot wait until November 23rd. WOW it was good. Steven Moffat changed everything with that ending!

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

My brothers, who are a constant source of my disappointment (as shown frequently in my previous entries on this blog,) have robbed me of something important. On May 24th, I had one of the best days in the past 7 years. I felt that I had finally gotten out of my depression that had been affecting me since I got back from Japan in August of 2006. That day I had wanted to exercise, wanted to study, wanted to go to work, wanted to spend time with my little sister (who is more my daughter than my sister, I'm her father figure basically.) More than that, I had done all of these things that day. I was on top of the world. My younger brother was not. He stabbed me that night in the side with an 8 inch kitchen knife. I'm fine medically, the blade did not pierce very deep, as one of my now cracked ribs stopped it. Mentally, I am devastated. I went from the top of the world back to the bottom of the ocean. I haven't done anything since that day. I tried to go to work the day after it happened, and had a panic attack when it finally struck me that I almost died the night before. A full 12 hours after the stabbing I finally came down from the adrenaline and realized that I might not have even gone to work that day. Needless to say, I broke down and cried like a baby in front of my entire team at work and the upper management. They asked me to go home after I told them the reason why I broke down. I took a few days off and came back with a good enough mask that everyone at work believes everything is okay. Now, all I can do is sit and try to keep my mind from playing over the events of that night and wonder why in the fuck I had any sympathy for my brother ever.

The police called about a week ago, and asked if I would like to press charges against him. I had told myself that I could not press charges against my brother, because I believed that there was something to salvage there in the relationship, or that I couldn't press charges against a family member. Those boys are not my brothers, no brothers of mine could take advantage of me and my family the way that these two are. I'm making plans to move out, but I need to make sure that my mother and younger sister are cared for if they will not move with me. I will not leave my mother and sister with those two boys alone, and I will not see my family hurt by those two any more.

I'm not sure why I wrote this entry, but I guess I just needed to tell someone about this, even if I'm not very active around here otherwise. If all goes well, I'll be living in a different house within the next few months and not have to worry about those two any more.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

Wow, 10 years went by too quick. I don't even know what to say here really after that last update. Things got better for me in many ways, but I've been through a lot of really hard sucky times.

• Got an associates degree and a job in programming


• more or less adopted my kid sister as my daughter


• had to live through her having a stroke due to interaction between medication and a genetic mutation


• never mended my relationship with my brothers so now everything's awkward and distant


• I learned how to make fresh loaves of bread and then decided to buy a breadmaker instead (that I never use)


• t i k t o k   a d d i c t i o n


• Maybe autism/ADHD/both?


• Never learned Japanese


• Never went back to Japan


• p a n d e m i c


• Ate sushi and watched a good ungodly amount of anime


• c r i p p l i n g   d e b t


• C R I P P L I N G   D E B T


• Chat GPT is pretty cool

All in all things are looking okayish. Being in my mid 30s is fucking weird. I miss the having the routines and structures of my life when

So yeah, that's about it. September will be one year since my daughters stroke. She pulled through though and is bouncing back. I never really got over it. Just kinda stopped acknowledging it like I do everything else that's ever really hurt me.

Anyway, who knows what the next 10 years will look like. Maybe I'll start writing journal entries more often?

Comment! (2) | Recommend!