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I could not go to sleep last night. I'm sure it had a lot to do with the fact that I had fallen asleep earlier in the evening when I had attempted to do some reading. Anyway, at some point already after 3am, I was still up, but the cable was off for some reason (so no tv or internet, bastards), so I looked through my DVDs and decided I wanted to watch Chasing Amy since I haven't in a long time. I had frogotten how amazing that movie is. Yes, it is a comedy, it is a Kevin Smith film, but it's one of most realistic portrayals on human emotions and the bullshit that defies logic and reason that accompanies them. As I watched it, since I was somehow wide awake, I really scrutinized the movie, paying attention to and noticing all of the little details I've overlooked before. I'm not sure if it was my overly-cognizant state of mind or the life experiences that have accrued in the time since I last watched the movie, but for some reason I was just blown away by the story. It's so fucking raw and real. Yes, of course the story is dressed up in the quirky life of the comic book crowd, "dick and fart jokes", and all of that (because something has to sell the movie), but the crux of the story is phenominal. It's all about finding an imperfect person that is perfect for you; it's about running into someone you should have known your entire life, but fate/cosmic force/luck/whatever you believe has made it so that you haven't met until so many years later; it's about recognizing that time in your life when you've made your mistakes but now you're ready to drop the bullshit and embrace that person that embodies all of what you've really been looking for all along; it's about putting that person before their past. The whole point comes together when Silent Bob tells his "Chasing Amy" story--he knew he had found that person that so truly completed him, but he fucked it all up when he asked about her past and, because of his fear of inadequacy, couldn't handle it because he placed his concern on her past, rather than on his love for her. Essentially, he's saying not to sugarcoat the reality of your relationship by romanticizing the situation. We've certainly made mistakes, so it's ridiculous to delude ourselves into believing our partners have not. You can't hold someone responsible for choices/actions/whatnot that they made before they even knew you, or at least started dating you. That's part of life: you live and you learn. Rather, we should focus on, and be pretty damn glad, that we've found that person. And once you have found that person, you have to take it upon yourself to drop the bullshit of inadequacy fears, or playing games, or being immature, or any of that shit. Take it upon yourself to get on the ball and change if you have to, because if you don't, you're gonna fuck up the one thing you've searched through mistakes to find. And, basically, once you've fucked up, you will have lost the greatest thing you could have known.

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I'm Joey Tribbiani from Friends!
Take the Friends Quiz here.
created by stomps.

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I am Frylock from Aqua Teen Hunger Force!!
Which Aqua Teen Hunger Force character are you??

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I tell you what needs to be done: the Radisson needs to be kicked. In the face. Then it should kill itself, again in the face (Swaney-style). Why is that place so worthless? Seriously. I stopped in today once again to check the schedule, only to find the lack of one posted in the Banquet kitchen. So, I figured I'd venture back to my manager's office because I figured she'd have a copy hanging there, and as I had guessed there was a copy of the schedule there--without me on it. Yeah, thanks for puttin me on the schedule. I find it kinda funny since my mom has heard through the grapevine that they've been desparate for help and couldn't wait for me to come back. Oh well. Honestly, I fuckin hate that place. If it weren't for some of the cool people that work there, particularly Tom, then I'd say fuck it and just quit. I figured I'd go back since they were "desparately in need of help" and I could use the extra $$$. Whatever, Dollar General is gonna have me working hopefully by Wednesday, at least by Thursday. I'll be more than glad to pimp it dollar store style.

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I made Dean's list this semester with a sexxxy 3.63 GPA Obviously it was a good choice to change my major.

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