my life in college is bored when it comes to break time.there is nothing i can do for everything is same everyday.i really wish that there will be something different each day or every alternate days to keep those free students from dying from boredom.i am so glad i only need to stay here for about a year.if this goes on for more than a year,i will be preparing myself an item each day to kill my boredom during these breaks.

now,i have a three hour break everyday,and i have totally nothing to do.i could not even find myself a corner to daydream!!this college is small.imagine many teenagers and adults squeezing in a small building.there isn't enough space for everyone!yet nothing is done about this.i am so glad i have someone to accompany me during these three hours break.

now,i am so bored that i am starting to think hard.i want to create a story that could touch my friends,and make them cry.i wasn't even sure why i like to make them cry using my stories.maybe their tears represents me successfully created a story that is touching, or maybe because i think everyone has a weak part and maybe through crying,their weaker side is shown.i don't know why.

but at least that is my target for now.these boring breaks are irritating.and i have to go home at 5.30 everyday.no more early going home.so sad.why can't they just shift all those lessons into those empty morning slots so that we can go home early?!?! and each time i reach home,i will be very tired.

and those 3hours break also cause me to become so tired.that 3 hours,i was so happily playing and chatting and eating and walking around until when its time for me to settle down and go to class,i start feeling tired.and that means those stupid lessons can't get into my head.it is seriously dangerous for i am having tests almost every week!!!gosh!!i can't take it anymore!!urgh!!

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someone ask me: are you happy?

i told that person that i am happy when i saw my cactus bloom.it is rare to see a cactus bloom a flower, for the symbol for cactus is always its thorns.

and i was very happy,so i keep adding lots and lots of fertilizers, wishing that another flower would bloom soon.but then, it died due to too much fertilizers.

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she loves him,yet she dare not confess.
so each time,she would just sit in a corner,
daydreaming about the moments if they were to be together.
until one day,
he walks forward and confess his love towards her.
happily ever after.

until one day,
she suddenly collapsed.
he was shocked,for that was sudden.
he felt as though she has been lying to him all along
as though she purposely hide the truth.

he was unhappy.
he waited and waited for her to regain her consciousness.
he waited and waited for her to explain to him.
but she never woke up after that.
and because of that,
he realised he missed her more and more just by staring at her.

he started to cry.
he no longer wants her explanation.
all he wants is for her to wake up and continue to be with her.
he miss her kisses on his cheeks,
he miss sweet talking to her.
he miss pampering her,
buying her everything she likes.
he miss those quiet moments where they share their every thoughts.
and those nights where they sit together to watch the stars.

he miss her.

and so,day after day,he waits in the hospital.
telling her how much he miss everything
and what went on that day.
he keep talking to her,even though he was tired.
and soon,he felt asleep.

and one fine day,
she finally woke up.
she smiles weakly at him.
he laughed,he yelled,he wanted to celebrate.
he was so happy he missed the doctor sighing.

'cherish the moments', said her doctor, and left.

he was so happy,sitting besides her,talking non-stop,
trying to tell her how he felt and how he went through when she was unconscious.
there were so much so much he wants to talk about.
so much things he wanted to let her know.
but he stops,when he felt her head landing on his shoulder.

he thought she was just tired at first.
so he holded her hands and let her sleep.
but tears start rowing down his face
when he realised he could not hear her breathe.

she was gone again, just like that.
he did not move,for he could still feel her temperature.
he want this moment to last,
the very last moment they can be together.

the fullness in him,suddenly turned into emptiness.
the world he wanted to describe,vanished.
the feelings he wanted to tell her, left unsaid.
the love for her,left hanging in the air.

he thought they could be together again,
just like how they used to be.
but he was wrong.
everything was too late for him.

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yesterday was my lucky day, and a fun day for me indeed.

my friend offered to help me buy lunch for me so that i would not have to deal with the rumbling stomach for the rest of the lessons.so nice!!almost everyday,my dad would come to the college to bring me out for lunch,unless when he is busy or when he is away.yesterday,he was away, and so he can't bring me out for lunch.i thought my lunch would be some bread or some fruits to solve my stomach temporarily.

but then after my friend knew that my dad won't be coming,she volunteered to help me buy lunch.so nice!! i don't have to deal with a rumbling stomach for the rest of the lessons!it was great.

since secondary life,i have many friends that took care of me.i was not good at taking care of myself, and i was fortunate as my friends was there to make me eat when i wanted to skip my recess,pull me into their fun when i was sitting in a corner daydreaming. and i also have friends that are willing to sit patiently besides me to listen to my problems or to cheer me up when i was down.

so i am really fortunate to still have friends in college that are willing to care and show concern to one another.because i was told that after secondary school life,things will not going to be easy,especially between people.

and something very funny happened yesterday.

i bought some sour candies a few days ago and i let my classmates tried it yesterday.there were two kind of sour candies with me,one is the not so sour ones and one is the very sour candies.to me, i am okay with both because i love sour,and so that kind of sour candies does not taste that sour to me.

there are some friends who took the not so sour candies and said it tasted nice.i see that their expressions did not change,so i assumed that they are not afraid of sour,and so i let them tried to the very sour candies.

while we were chatting during the recess, one of my friends tried the very sour candy.i was sitting beside him,so i guess i am the only one who knew he tried that candy.i wanted to see his reactions,so i stared at him when he was eating the candy.

when the candy first landed on his tongue,he suddenly stood up.it was too sour for him.then he suddenly sat down again,and was hiding his face in a sleeping position.no one could see his face,so no one knows his expressions.then the taste taste was so unbearable he suddenly stood up again.by now,he was the center of the attention of the group because of his sudden reaction.

he was hiding his face throughout,and my another friend become worried,thinking that something must have happened to him;maybe an serious illness attack or something like that. she was constantly looking from me to him and then from him to me again,waiting for me to explain to her what happened.but i could not.i was laughing so hard to say anything.

i guess my friend was hiding his face maybe because the candy was too sour that his tears almost row down his face.i was laughing,at the same time observing my two friends' reactions and expressions.his expression was really hilarious.

and then when he suddenly stood up again,he finally said that the candy was too sour,and then everyone at the table was laughing.

i know it was bad for me to laugh at him,but i really can't help it.his reactions was hilarious.

and that's how i got my fun day.

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i realised that except for that entry on first day of school, i did not write any other entries on my school life.so i am here to fill in more about my school life.

i am still very uncomfortable with the school life.i like my secondary school life where i can find many corners to daydream when i am free.its hard to imagine a college without a lonely corner.

and i just had my first progress test on maths,english and economics.it was difficult,but because it was our first test,the teachers guided us along on how to answer the questions.the english should not be a problem for the format is always the same since young to now,and maths is all about solving the questions.

but economics,the teacher had a hard time guiding us as we are new to the subject.we don't even know how to answer the essay questions,but i am so glad multiply-choice questions still exists in college.i still can use my dice and try my luck.

i miss multiply choice questions.my secondary life has no MCQ at all.teachers were giving structured questions and essay questions,and said MCQ belongs to primary school.so sad.

there is not a progress test for accountacy because there are many lessons missed.the teacher have to struggle among a lot of courses,result in not enough of time for each course.and so we don't have enough lessons to get ready for test.

i was not very happy or very sad when the course coordinator says that the missed lessons will be replaced.because replacing means later class release time and also schools on saturday.but if the lessons are not replaced,i would miss a lot of knowledge, and will end up me not ready for tests.

and i still think that i am a little too naive for college life.i still believe what everyone says, and i still believe people are not bad without a reason.i still want a black and white answer for everything.and i often can't find an answer,because i should by now know that life is full of grey zones,rather than a clear black and white zones.

i wonder,how long can i survive thinking this way.for i think the older we grow up,the lesser is the reason for everything.people just don't bother to explain anymore.

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haha,in my fantasy world, i want to be a private investigator.

PI is so much of a fun and exciting job as shown on TV,in cartoons and everything.secretive,yet a know-all person.its fits my personality;it totally destroys my boring life and bring me into another kind of world.i am also always wondering how PI gets their information.they are always so resourceful.so nice.

i want to be a PI also because it feeds my hunger of knowledge.i am always curious about everything,always asking about everything.since PI is that kind of know-all job and they can easily gain access to all they need,it would fill my hunger.

and i am that kind of nosy type of people,so i like to uncover secrets.being PI is like i can uncover secrets openly,but to the client only of course.if the target know i am around,i guess the target would not let me off.haha,then will start a game of hunt.

but that is only in the fantasy world of course.things will never be that easy if in reality.

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