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It's funny... realizing how much I'm finding myself on nutang lately. I know the private entries aren't the way to make it back but I'd prefer my negatives and ramblings to stay to myself... even when it helps to just get them out. Call me odd... I'm well aware =)

Another sleepless night passing... actually pretty much gone... I just don't get it. Bubba actually went to sleep at a half decent time last night and I haven't even caught 5 minutes; when he's awake til 3am, 4am... 6am... I find myself dozing off and on all night.
I think it was all my excitement for tomorrow. Huge Super Saturday (LegalShield event) with the VP of sales in town and I had 4 guests lined up... yeah that's probably part of why I'm so wired. I know what part of it's from... probably not so good that that keeps me awake but we can only clear our minds for so long.
Now I'm just kind of... not zombie awake but not really awake while still not being tired... autopilot? Out of 3 confirmed I find out, almost two hours ago, that two "probably won't make it" and the third was attached to their party but could still show up. And yet my thought right now is oddly focused on the fact that it's still so dark outside? Usually by 5:00 the sky's starting to turn blue and it still looks like it's midnight and the moon's shining bright through my window.

Anyway... I really wish friends' support was more definite and less flaky. But we're only human.

Anyone happen to be in the Las Vegas area and free around 9:30/10:00 this morning? You should msg me so you can come hang out =) Cause guess who's smiley face gets to help with registration? This lovely lady!!!

Okay... I'm going to try to force myself to sleep the next half hour-ish until my alarm goes off.

Goodnight/good morning =)

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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OMG!! I'm still trying to get everything from this weekend to sink in! The first time I've actually been away from my Bubba in the 3 years since he was conceived and I know, even though it was really hard, it was the right time and the right choice to make. It was so much fun getting to be in an arena FULL of people with so much energy ready to just to learn and absorb everything! I got to meet so many wonderful people, everyone was so happy and relaxed... it was such a feel good trip <3. So much changed in just 3 days... in me and my mindset and in LegalShield. And it amazes me that even with all the changes and new materials they're giving us... the value of the membership is still increasing and the rates will never change!! http://www.legalshield.com/individualvideo/LS+IDT/

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So it's been two years and boy how things can change!
Bubba is two now, going on 5 lol. He's grown so fast! He's potty trained almost completely; he has bedtime accidents every once in a while but considering how full his diapers would be when he woke up, I'm VERY proud of him. He's also helped me grow up and become much more conscious of a lot of areas of myself that I needed to work on... even if it was just a little work. I kind of joke that I can see the change in myself... I never imagined to go from high-heels and hand bags to being excited over hand-me-downs; but that I have. He grows so quick hand-me-downs are a blessing when they come.

I've also been able to stay a stay-at-home mom and I love it! There are days that I feel like I'm going crazy from being inside all day, but now that we're below 115 we'll be starting to go out much much more. I was also given a blessing (if you will) to continue on as a stay at home mom to simply switch over to being a work from home mom by working for myself... it's so much nicer than having a boss. That and getting to set my own hours, decide how much I make and that I can get paid every day! Yeah lol I love it!

Being married... well we're coming up on our second anniversary but it's definitely not what I was expecting. Unfortunately I've started to see why a lot of the individuals I'm around week to week think that I'm a single mom. I suppose we didn't really know each other when we made the commitment to our marriage and that's built quite a few issues. I'm very fortunate that with Bubba and my business I've invested in myself through personal development, so I'm able to stay more positive and optimistic; Zek however won't make the same commitment to himself. We are working to get where we feel we should be though... which is much more than most can say in our lovely "little" city.

I've actually set goals for myself too... something else I never did before I had Bubba. One is to bring another very rewarding career to my life; by the time I'm 30 I want to be teaching. I'm shooting for high school sciences, most likely in Anatomy/ Physiology with how much I enjoyed my class back in high school. My very short term goal is to be in Dallas, TX next month for a big training/ personal development convention with quite a few friends and business partners. And in the next year I plan on being the proud owner of a beautiful bright red Scion FR-S <3 I've absolutely fallen in love with this car. And my short and long term combined goal is to continue helping families and individuals protect themselves and gain the opportunity to begin working on their fortune in their part-time/ spare-time/ sliver-time lives.

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