watching: my summer holiday slip away...what a crap summer this has been
listening to: simpsons in the background
mood: crappy...sad

Lleyton Hewwit lost the Aus Open last night to no. 4 seed, Marat Safin.
Thing's between Brad and I are hopeless.
I'm worried about uni, it's scary.
I haven't seen my friends in like 2 weeks.
I wanna cry.

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watching: uhh....what am I usually watching when I'm online??
listening to: The Almost Midday show
mood: hmmm....happy bout some things, worried bout others

*Is really freaked out*

I don't usually pay attention to my horoscope, I mean I read them and everything, but I just kinda brush whatever it says off and just ignore it. But lately, and a few times in the past, it's been pretty accurate, which is freaky. Take this one for example:

This is a turning point in your life. It's time to make changes which help you achieve your life's purpose. This may involve starting or ending relationships, joining a new group, or changing circumstances in your life. It is possible that something or someone will challenge you during this time. Either way it's time to let go of circumstances or relationships that are no longer rewarding, and begin those which offer more satisfaction

Hands up those of you who remember me freaking out about going to uni. Well, I went to my academic advising session yesterday and I was really scared, I don't like change and to get through uni half by happy, I'm gonna need to make new friends and get int a new routine, which would challlenge me alot *aarrgh!* But it's also a positive challenge, I guess. I called my friend Sonia last night, cos we have this orientation thing we have to go to and I asked her if she'd come with me cos I'm scared to go alone and she said she would, if I really wanted her to, but that she thought I should go by myself cos orientation is about settling into uni and making new friends and stuff and that she didn't think I'd do that if she were there, and I guess she's right. I'm just shit scared I'm gonna be one of those losers eating lunch by herself, arrrgh! This feels like the beginning of high school.

Also, it mentions that I should let go of a relationship that I have which is no longer rewarding...hmmmm.....lemme think...who that could be about?? Brad! I haven't talked to him in 4 days and that really sucks. Lately he's making me miserable instead of happy, he always used to make me happy...so if he's making me miserable and I'm no longer happy, then I'd say it's no longer a rewarding relationship...hmmm...I'll prolly stick it out a lil longer though.

Cleo!

I finally know which puppy will be mine yaaay! The owner rang me this morning and told me that they'd decided on keeping "arrow", but that's ok, cos I'm taking "dot" and she's gorgeous too. She also told me that I could take her next weekend, cos she thinks the'll be ok to go by then and that Joanne (another friend in flyball) is taking her puppy then, after she comes to microchip them (she works in animal welfare so microchipping is part of her job). So, we'll prolly go down on Saturday and watch Cleo be microchipped and stuff and then we'll take her home! Yaaaaay! Puppy classes (run by Joanne) also start the wednesday after, so that'll be fun too, I can't wait until I get her, she' so gorgeous and cuddly and cute!

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Survey thingies

1. Full Name: Katrina Ann Bulman
2. Nicknames: Kat, Katness, Katnicity, Kit-Kat, Teenie Anna Reenie (my dad when I was lil)
3. Number of candles that appeared on your last cake: 18
4. Date you usually blow them out: sept 2nd
5. Hair Color: blonde
6. Piercings: 2 piercngs in each ear
7. Tatoos: none
8. Fav Colors: blue and pink
9. Hometown: Waiouru, that's where I was born
10. Current residence: Sydney
11. Fav food: chocolate
12. Been to Africa: no
13. Loved somebody so much it made you cry: Yeah
14. Been in a car accident: nope
15. Fav movies: Don't really have any, seen some good ones though
16. Fav holidays: Christmas
17. Fav day of the week: Saturday
18. Fav restaurant: The Blackstump
19. Fav flowers: Jasmine, rose, gardinia
20. Fav drink: uhhhhhh...Bacardi Brezer, or Vodka Cruises
21. Fav football team: uhhhh.....Richmond Tigers were my fave
22. Fav ice cream: Hokey Pokey, or Caramel swirl
23. Fav sesame street character: Ernie
24. Fav fast food: MacD's, I guess
25. Have you ever been convicted of a crime: nope
26. Which single store would you choose to max out your credit card: hmmmm....prolly a cloting store
27. What do you do when you're bored: talk to Cole or Brad
28. Name the person who you are friends with who is the farthest away: America
29. Most annoying thing people ask you: uhhh....I dunno
30.Bedtime: whenever i'm tired
31. Wake up time: Depends when I wakeup, If I'm going to school then like 7am or something
32. Fav all time tv shows: ummmm.....I dunno
33. Fav authors: I read anything decent
34. If you had any job in the world what would it be: Something with maximum pay and minimum effort.
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Write down what it says: "...chill. They were heavy, solid."
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. The kitchen bench top
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Aus Open semi finals, Federer against Safin, Federer's winning, damnit!
4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 10pm
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? woot! Was close, 10:20pm
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? the fan, the tv, the bugs outside buzzing, my dad commenting on the tennis
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? yesterday,was in Canberra
8. Before you came to this website [started this survey], what did you look at? An email from Cole with his survey answers in it
9. What are you wearing? jeans, bra, sweater, panties-oooohhh! sexy!
10. Did you dream last night? nope
11. When did you last laugh? hmmm....when Cole and I planned our"wedding"
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? *goes to check* "magic happens" wall thing, "spetember" wall thing, photo frame with my 3 cats in it, wind chimes, dream catcher, clown porcelain doll face, big, purple ceramic heart with rainbow across it and sun and stars, cat picture.
13. Seen anything weird lately? uhhh....nope
14. What do you think of this quiz? longish
15. What is the last film you saw? Phantom of the Opera, was good, they didn't ruin it
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? a house
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: hmmm...I'm getting married to Cole in 6 months *is so excited*
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? make Brad move to Sydney
19. Do you like to dance? yeah, when I get into it
20. George Bush: hmmm...better to the alternative
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? uhhh...Kendra,mabe?
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? hmmm....I dunno
23. Would you ever consider living abroad? Sure
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? You and Brad can spend eternity with each other in heaven-actally, we'd prolly drive each other nuts...but it IS heaven

Survey #11: Bold the Ones You Did as a Child

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE!"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air." (In west Philadelphia born and raised..)
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-Sitters Club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WHOA" comes from Joey on Blossom.
8. Two words: M.C. Hammer ...
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
11. You could sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales"
12. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons....
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter Shack, House).
17. You wore a Jordache Jean jacket and you were proud of it.
18. L.A. Gear
19. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten. ...
20. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.
21. you know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
22. You wanted to be a Goonie!
23. You ever wore flourescent clothing. and tie dye too!
24. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
25. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf....
26. You took lunch pails to school
27. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
28. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
29. You remember Hypercolor T-shirts.
30. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
31. You thought She-Ra and He-Man should hook up.
32. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.
33. You owned a pair of jelly sandals
34. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
35. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
36. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
37. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip 'n' Slide.
38. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
39. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonald's.
40. You've gone through this list occasionally saying "totally awesome."
41. You remember Popples.
42. "Don't worry, be happy."
43. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights.
44. You wore socks scrunched down.. (damnit i still do this)
45. "Miss MARY MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"
46. You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.
47. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!"
49. You remember watching Rainbow Brite and My Little Ponies
50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell," the ORIGINAL class.
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME


x\\ spell your name backwards: anirtak
x\\ have you ever had a song written about you: no
x\\ what song makes you cry: ummm...some celine dion one's do
x\\ what song makes you happy: lots
x\\ what's your all time fav. song?: lots
x\\ what do you listen to before you go to sleep: Mix 106.5
x\\ height: 5"11ish
x\\ hair color: blonde
x\\ piercings: 2 in each ear
x\\ tattoos: none

Right Now . . .
x\\ what color pants are you wearing: blue jeans
x\\ what song are you listening to: tennis
x\\ what taste is in your mouth?: yucky, need to brush teeth taste
x\\ whats the weather like?: muggy
x\\ how are you?: hmmm...ok
x\\ get motion sickness?: nope
x\\ have a bad habit?: uhh, yeah
x\\ get along with your parents?: mostly
x\\ boyfriend/girlfriend: technically not
x\\ have a current crush: Brad
x\\ have a big regret: not a biiig one

Favorite . . .
x\\ tv show: don't have one
x\\ conditioner: Sunsilk fruitrience
x\\ book: don't have one
x\\ non alchohol drink: pepsi with a splash of solo
x\\ alchohol drink: bacardi breezers or vodka cruisers, or asti
x\\ things to do on the weekend: shop, sleep, talk to Brad and Cole

Have You Ever . . .
x\\ broken the law: nope
x\\ ran away from home: uhhh, kinda
x\\ snuck out of the house: nope
x\\ ever gone skinny dipping: nope
x\\ made a prank phone call: yeah
x\\ tipped over a portapotty: lol, noooor
x\\ use your parents credit card: yeah
x\\ skipped school before: sure
x\\ fell asleep in the shower/bath: nope
x\\ been in a school play: yeah
x\\ had a boyfriend/girlfriend: yeah
x\\ had children: nope
x\\ been in love: hmmm...yeah
x\\ have a hard time getting over someone: yeah
x\\ been hurt?: yeah, a few times
x\\ gone out with someone you only knew for 3 days: yeah

Random . . .
x\\ have a job: yeah
x\\ your cd player has what in it right now: hmmm....nothing, i took it out for my Canberra road trip
x\\ if you were a crayon, what color would you be?: silvery blue
x\\ what makes you happy? shopping, talking, playing with my kitty, Cleo.
x\\ the next CD you're going to buy: I don't buy many cd's

When/What Was the Last . . .
x\\ you got a real letter: uhhhh.....when Brad sent me one, a year ago
x\\ got an email: get 'em every day
x\\ thing you purchased: ice-cream
x\\ Tv program you watched: tennis
x\\ movie you saw in the theaters: The Phantom Of the Opera
x\\ kissed: Brad..kinda
x\\ hugged: my mum....I hug my parents everyday, I need hugs
x\\ song heard: uhhhh.....soldier by Destiny's Child
x\\ place you were [ besides home ]: Canberra
x\\ phonecall: The uni student info line
x\\ you were depressed: 2 days ago
x\\ you were in the hospital: when I fractured my wrist

When/What Comes to Mind When You Hear . . .
x\\ car: shit box
x\\ murder: evil
x\\ cape: black
x\\ penis: uhhh...shit, gotta be honest, Brad
x\\ cell: mobile
x\\ shoe: loafers
x\\ fun: yaaaay!
x\\ crush: Brad, i guess
x\\ music: good
x\\ chalk: dusty

Survey #13: The Longest Survey So Far
Y 0 U
[ .01. ] first name: Katrina
[ .02. ] middle name: Ann
[ .03. ] last name: Bulman
[ .04. ] nickname(s): Kat, Kit-Kat, Katness, Katnicity
[ .05. ] gender: female
[ .06. ] birthday: 02 of september, 86
[ .07. ] height: 5'11ish
[ .08. ] hair color: blonde
[ .09. ] eye color: blue/grey
[ .010. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: nope, 20/20 vision
[ .011. ] do you have braces: nope
[ .012. ] is your hair long or short: medium
[ .013. ] where were you born: Army base hspital in Waiouru
[ .014. ] current location: Sydney
[ .015. ] zodiac sign: Virgo
[ .016. ] how many languages do you know: one plus some italian and some french
[ .017. ] what laungage do you want to learn: Italian
[ .018. ] bad habits: procrastination, and some other stuff
[ .019. ] piercing you have: 2 each on my ears
[ .020. ] piercing you want: if my stomach was perfect, belly button
[ .021. ] tattoos you have: none, want a lil one though
[ .023. ] today: was alright
[ .024. ] today's date: january 27th
[ .025. ] the time: 11:12pm
[ .026. ] ready for a bunch more questions: ugh, if I hafta

F A M i L Y
[ .027. ] mother's name: Fiona
[ .028. ] father's name: Kevin
[ .029. ] brother's name: Steven
[ .030. ] sister's name: N/A
[ .031. ] favorite aunt: Gina
[ .032. ] favorite uncle: Peter or Ian
[ .033. ] favorite grandparent: my dad's dad
[ .036. ] worst relative: Uncle Brian and his wife
[ .037. ] best relative: uhhh.....dunno
[ .038. ] do you get along with your parents: usually
[ .039. ] does anyone in your family understand you?: hmmm....rarely

P E T S
[ .040. ] do you have any pets: yeah
[ .041. ] what are their names: Sasha, Petey, Cleo (soon!), Bella, Alex, Tiger
[ .042. ] what kind of animals are they: 3 cats, 1 border collie X black labrador, Maltese X, Chocolate Border Collie

S C H 0 0 L
[ .043. ] are you still in school: startin uni soon
[ .044. ] did you drop out:no way
[ .045. ] current gpa: huh? we don't have that here
[ .046. ] favorite grade: A, duh!
[ .047. ] least favorite grade: F, for obvious reasons
[ .048. ] favorite teacher: Mrs. Pinson
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: my principal, Mrs. Ford
[ .050. ] favorite subject: english or drama
[ .051. ] least favorite subject:math
[ .052. ] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: uually brought, sometimes buy
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's team: nope
[ .054. ] do/did you do any extracurricular activities: yeah
[ .055. ] are/was you popular: hmmmm...i had friends and lots of aquaintances
[ .056. ] favorite dance: tango....wish i knew it :(
[ .057. ] favorite memory: when thngs were good with Brad and I
[ .058. ] favorite memory you want to have: ummmm....Brad and I being together
[ .059. ] least favorite memory: hmmmm...My dog dying
[ .060. ] most humiliating moment: dunno....when will this quiz end? Why did i start it?
F A V 0 R i T E S
[ .061. ] number: 3
[ .062. ] letter:
[ .063. ] shoes:loafers
[ .064. ] saying(s): "sheesh"
[ .065. ] TV show: dunno
[ .066. ] sport: horse riding
[ .067. ] vegetable: sweet corn
[ .068. ] fruit: cherries, strawberries
[ .069. ] movie: dunno
[ .070. ] magazine: none
[ .071. ] actor: no idea
[ .072. ] actress: dunno
[ .073. ] candy: chocolate
[ .074. ] gum: makes my mouth feel yuck
[ .075. ] scent: jasmine and gardenia and rose
[ .076. ] candy bar: mars
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: hokey pokey
[ .078. ] color: blue
[ .079. ] season: spring
[ .080. ] holiday: christmas
[ .081. ] band:lots
[ .082. ] singer: dunno
[ .083. ] group: dunno
[ .084. ] rapper: hmmmm...missy elliot or eminem
[ .085. ] type of music: rock pop
[ .086. ] thing in your room: tv or cd player
[ .087. ] place to be: my room
[ .089. ] tv channel: Arena, i guess
[ .090. ] junk food: chocolate
[ .091. ] overall food: chocolate
[ .092. ] store: clothes
[ .093. ] hangout: dunno
[ .094. ] fast food: pizza hut, maybe
[ .095. ] restaurant: The Blackstump
[ .096. ] shape: heart
[ .097. ] time of day: 4 or 5pm
[ .098. ] country: Australia
[ .099. ] state: NSW
[ .100. ] boys name: dunno
[ .101. ] girls name: Kendra
[ .102. ] mall: Westfield
[ .103. ] video game: Athens Olympics
[ .104. ] shampoo: Sunsilk fruitrience
[ .105. ] board game: Cluedo
[ .106. ] computer game: N/A
[ .107. ] car: Porsche
[ .108. ] music video: uhh....dunno
[ .109. ] swear word: I try not to swear.....I say shit though
[ .110. ] word: I donm't know
[ .111. ] month: September
[ .112. ] cartoon character: Striperella :p
[ .113. ] scary movie: hate them
[ .114. ] team: dunno
[ .115. ] possession: hmmmm.....dunno

WHATS THE FiRST THiNG Y0U TH0UGHT 0F WHEN Y0U HEAR..
[ .116. ] eminem: white rapper
[ .117. ] dog: Cleo
[ .118. ] hot: yuck
[ .119. ] britney spears: bimbo
[ .120. ] nsync: JT
[ .121. ] real world: crap
[ .122. ] orange: juicy
[ .123. ] choice: uh oh
[ .124. ] fuck: that's not nice
[ .125. ] bisexual: this guy on a message board, Si
[ .126. ] black: evil
[ .127. ] icq: I had it
[ .128. ] insane clown posse: scary
[ .129. ] linkin park:hmmmm.....I like "numb"
[ .130. ] jack: my granddad
[ .131. ] rainbow: colourful
[ .133. ] cucumber: veggie
[ .134. ] shark: sea
[ .135. ] lifehouse: sea
[ .136. ] bat: ball
[ .137. ] leather: jacket
[ .138. ] whip: my bro
[ .139. ] america: meh...trying to take over the damn world :p
[ .140. ] water: thorpedo
[ .141. ] volcano: red hot
[ .142. ] rock or rap: rock
[ .143. ] rock or pop: rock
[ .144. ] rock or r&b: rock
[ .145. ] rock or metal: rock
[ .146. ] rap or pop: pop
[ .147. ] rap or r&b: r&b
[ .148. ] rap or metal: rap
[ .149. ] pop or r&b: pop
[ .150. ] pop or metal: pop
[ .151. ] r&b or metal: r&b
[ .152. ] linkin park or limp bizkit: linkin park
[ .153. ] tool or korn: tool
[ .154. ] selena or jennifer lopez: J-lo
[ .155. ] hot or cold: warm
[ .156. ] winter or summer: spring
[ .157. ] spring or fall: spring
[ .158. ] shakira or britney: both are bad
[ .159. ] icp or eminem: eminem
[ .160. ] marilyn manson or rob zombie: neither
[ .161. ] kittie or garbage: garbage
[ .162. ] mtv or vh1: mtv
[ .163. ] buffy or angel: buffy, angel's old
[ .164. ] dawson's creek or gilmore girls: gilmore girls
[ .165. ] football or basketball: basketball
[ .166. ] summer olympics or winter olympics: summer
[ .167. ] skiing or snowboarding: skiing
[ .168. ] rollerblading or skateboarding: rollerblading
[ .169. ] black or white: black, it's slimming :)
[ .170. ] orange or red: red
[ .171. ] yellow or green: green
[ .172. ] purple or pink: pink
[ .173. ] slipknot or mudvayne: neither
[ .174. ] hot topic or pac sun: neither
[ .175. ] inside or outside: inside
[ .176. ] weed or alcohol: alcohol
[ .177. ] cell phone or pager: cell
[ .178. ] pen or pencil: pen
[ .179. ] powerpuff girls or charlie's angels: powerpuffs
[ .180. ] scooby doo or dino: totally dino
[ .181. ] dragon ball z or pokemon: pokemon
[ .182. ] star wars or star trek: star wars
[ .183. ] tattoos or piercings: piercings
[ .184. ] prep or punk: prep
[ .185. ] slut or whore: neither

P R i V A T E L i F E
[ .186. ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: not technically
[ .187. ] do you have a crush: hmmmmm....Brad, I guess
[ .188. ] do you love anyone right now: yeah
[ .189. ] have you ever been in love: yeah
[ .190. ] how many people have you liked:a few
[ .191. ] who was your first crush: this guy who i was baby sat with when I was lil
[ .192. ] how many hearts of have you broken: not many
[ .193. ] how many people broke your heart: 2
[ .194. ] best quote to sum up love: dunno
[ .195. ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: sweet, but alwasy late
[ .196. ] do you have a picture of him/her: yeah
[ .197. ] please post it if you do: nope
[.198. ] do you have a picture of yourself: yes
[ .199. ] please post it if you do: it's in my gallery
[ .200. ] do you go by looks or personality: personality, but I need to be attracted to him
[ .201. ] ever kiss a friend: nope
[ .202. ] are you still friends: N/A
[ .203. ] so moving along..do you smoke: ewwww no!
[ .204. ] do you smoke weed: ewwwwww n!
[ .205. ] ever trip on acid: nope
[ .206. ] how about a little x: nope
[ .207. ] crack, heroin, anything else: nope
[ .208. ] beer good or beer bad: bad
[ .209. ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: negative
[ .210. ] do you like smirnoff ice: never had it
[ .211. ] prefer beer or liquor: liquor
[ .212. ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: N/A
[ .213. ] have you ever drank Hpnotiq: nope
[ .214. ] if yes, when was the last time you got some: N/A

W 0 U L D Y 0 U EVER..
[ .215. ] bungee jump:hell no
[ .216. ] sky dive: hell no
[ .217. ] swim with dolphins: ofcourse
[ .218. ] scuba dive: yeah
[ .219. ] go rock climbing: i've done it b4, was fun
[ .220. ] eat shit for $1,000,000: hell no
[ .221. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: some I would
[ .222. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: nope, unless he was mine and they stole him first
[ .223. ] cross-dress: for money
[ .224. ] lie to the police: If I had to
[ .225. ] run from the police: If I had to
[ .226. ] lie to your parents: If I had to
[ .227. ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: Noooor
[ .228. ] be an exotic dancer: don't have the body for it
[ .229. ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: NEVER...I hate it when people do that to me, they don't get that the waiter/waitress is held accountable for it, or they don't care
[ .230. ] streak: noooor

Y 0 U R F R I E N D S
[ .231. ] best friends: Sonia, Mona, Robyn, Brad, Cole
[ .232. ] known longest: Robyn
[ .233. ] wish you talked to more: Brad
[ .234. ] wish you saw more: Robyn
[ .235. ] how many friends do you think you have: atleast 20-30, not neccessarily all close
[ .236. ] who drives you insane after a while: hmmm...none, really
[ .237. ] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: Brad
[ .238. ] ever lose a good friend because you took it to the 'next level': nope
[ .239. ] craziest: Sonia
[ .240. ] loudest: Sonia
[ .241. ] shyest: Mona
[ .242. ] best hair:Sonia
[ .243. ] can always make you laugh: Sonia
[ .244. ] best eyes: Mona
[ .243. ] best body: Dilek
[ .246. ] most athletic: uhhh...Dilek
[ .247. ] sex symbol: LOL, dunno, Dilek maybe
[ .248. ] hot tempered: Mona, definitely
[ .249. ] most impatient: Mona
[ .250. ] shortest: Zena
[ .251. ] tallest: other than me? hmmm..Dilek
[ .252. ] talented: academically...Zena
[ .253. ] best singer: Sonia
[ .254. ] skinniest: Dilek, perhaps
[ .255. ] nicest: Dilek
[ .256. ] best personality: Sonia
[ .257. ] biggest drug user: Lol, the only drugs we take are painkillers

HAVE Y0U EVER:
[ .258. ] flashed someone: no...not really
[ .259. ] told a person how you felt bout them: Yeah
[ .260. ] been to michigan: Noo
[ .262. ] gone to jail or juvi: no...I'm a good girl
[ .263. ] skateboarded: tried and failed
[ .264. ] skinny dipped:nope
[ .265. ] stolen anything: when I was lil I used to
[ .266. ] wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: last night I did
[ .267. ] kicked someone's ass:Yeah
[ .268. ] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: sure
[ .269. ] broke a beer bottle: nope
[ .270. ] gotten into a bar, under-aged: nope, never tried
[ .271. ] kissed someone of the same sex:nope
[ .273. ] gone on a road trip:yeah
[ .274. ] gone on vacation without adult supervision: uhhh...nooo...I'm boring :(
[ .275. ] been to a concert: yeah
[ .276. ] been to another country: sure, was born there
[ .277. ] talked back to an adult: hell yeah
[ .278. ] got pulled over: nope
[ .279. ] got in a car accident: nope
[ .280. ] broke a law:nope
[ .281. ] given money to a homeless person: yeah
[ .282. ] tried to kill yourself: nope
[ .283. ] cried to get out of trouble: sure
[ .284. ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: nope
[ .285. ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: nope
[ .286. ] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways?: uhhhh....yeah, lol

0 P I N I 0 N S
[ .287. ] what do you think...about pop music: catchy
[ .288. ] about boy bands: ok
[ .289. ] about flag burning: I wouldn't do it
[ .290. ] of the war on terrorists: It could have been done better
[ .291. ] about suicide: I wouldn't do it
[ .292. ] about people who try to force their opinions on you:I just do it back
[ .293. ] about abortion: If I were raped or knew I'd die if the child was born, yes
[ .294. ] about rock/metal music: some of it is good
[ .295. ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: hopefully with Brad and workig as a manager in a hotel or resturant
[ .296. ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Sonia, I hope and Brad and Cole

W H A T D I D Y 0 U D 0
[ .297. ] last birthday: uhhhh...went to school and had dinner with fam.
[ .298. ] yesterday: not much
[ .299. ] last weekend: ummmm....*thinks* can't remember
[ .300. ] christmas: Went to Melbourne to see Robyn and co.
[ .301. ] thanksgiving: we don't celebrate it here
[ .302. ] new year's: Went to Glebe to watch fireworks
[ .303. ] halloween: don't celebrate it
[ .304. ] easter: ate chocolate
[ .305. ] valentine's day: Talked to Brad

T H E L A S T
[ .306. ] thing you ate: Weetbix
[ .307. ] thing you drank: uhhhh....last night, 'twas a cup of tea
[ .308. ] thing you wore: ummm....I'm wearing now, a white skirt, black top ad underwear
[ .309. ] place you went:Canberra
[ .310. ] thing you got pierced/tattooed: my ears
[ .311. ] person you saw: Mum
[ .312. ] person you kissed: uhhh...Brad, kinda
[ .313. ] person you fxcked:that's not a nice way to put it
[ .314. ] person you talked to: Mum
[ .315. ] song you heard: uhhhh...that song, "he doesn't mean a thing to me, just another pretty face to see...."
[ .316. ] what are you eating: nothing
[ .317. ] what are you drinking: nothing
[ .318. ] what are you wearing: clothes
[ .319. ] any shoes on: nope
[ .320. ] hat: nope
[ .321. ] listening to: some tv show my bro's watching
[ .322. ] talking to anyone: some guy who just IM'ed me
[ .323. ] are you pissed i made this survey so long? yeah

Y or N
[ .324. ] are you a vegetarian: naah, like, my steak too much
[ .325. ] do you like cows: yeah
[ .326. ] are you a bxtch: sometimes
[ .327. ] are you artistic: lol, I can be
[ .328. ] do you write poetry: I have, but I don' often
[ .329. ] are you a fast runner: nope
[ .330. ] can you ski: nope
[ .331. ] are you british: Ancestry is there
[ .332. ] do you want to spear britney: sometimes
[ .333. ] do the voices talk to you: lol, often
[ .334. ] did you ever give barbie a haircut: yeah
[ .335. ] would you eat mac & cheese with hot dogs in it:nope, yuck
[ .336. ] do you think disney creators were on acid when they made 'alice in wonderland: perhps.
[ .337. ] are you straight: yeah
[ .338. ] are you stupid, insane, and another physically handicapped? sometimes stupid
[ .339. ] are you nice: I can be
[ .340. ] are you naughty: sometimes
[ .341. ] are you short: nope
[ .342. ] are you tall: uh huh
[ .343. ] do you own a hot pink shirt: yeah
[ .344. ] how about orange pants: naah
[ .345. ] can you see the flying monkey: everyday
[ .346. ] are you evil : sometimes
[ .347. ] did you ever know someone who had a mullet: nope
[ .348. ] is britney a whore: at times
[ .349. ] are you a teenage zombie: When I'm tired
[ .350. ] am i annoying you?: yeah
[ .351. ] do you like marilyn manson: nooor
[ .352. ] are you secretly from another planet: some people think so
[ .353. ] did you ever touch someone else's private parts: uhh...kinda personal question
[ .354. ] this is over are you happy now hahah:yes, but more to come

Survey #20: Bold the Ones That Apply to You

01. I have a cell phone
02. I'm obsessed with new things.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I am a shopoholic.
05. I love my gauged ears.
06. I love wearing my hat
07. I love Daquiris.
08. I love the weekends.
09. I can't live without my watch.
10. I can't live without music.
11. I lived in Tahoe.
12. I spend money I have.
13. I'll be in college for over 4 years.
14. I love Metallica
15. I get annoyed easily.
16. I eventually want kids.
17. I like the Backsreet Boys.
18. I have more than a couple horrible memories.
19. I'm addicted to Degrassi.
20. I am a person.
21. My first kiss was unexpected.
22. I start school on Jan 4th or 5th
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I hate girls who are fake.
25. I can be mean when I want to.
26. My dreams are bizzare.
27. I am bisexual.
28. I have way too many pairs of shoes.
29. I've seen "She's All That" at least 50 times.
30. I dress how I feel that day.
31. I love Charmed.
32. Sometimes I cry for almost no reason.
33. I hate when people are ridiculously late.
34. I procrastinate.
35. Winter is my least favorite season.
36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
37. I love to sleep.
38. I wish I were smarter.
39. I am the hottest guy
40. I have a lot of drama
41. No one knows my full story of my life.
42. I love my hair.
43. I sometimes fight with my parents.
44. I love the beach!!!
45. I have had the chicken pox.
46. I'm excited for the future.
47. I can't control my emotions.
48. I can't wait till New Year's.
49. I love the show 'Rich Girls'
50. I love my friends i guess.
51. Christmas is my favorite holiday
52. I can be very insecure sometimes.
53. I have had a broken bone.
54. I hate ignorant people.
55. I love my laptop.
56. I love people that play the guitar.
57. I state the obvious.
58. I'm a happy person.
59. I love to dance.
60. I love to sing.
61. I hate cleaning my room.
62. I tend to get jealous very easily.
63. I like to play video games.
64. I love John Mayer
65. I hate when I see animals/people getting hurt/abused.
66. I'm a vegetarian/vegan/don't eat beef.
67. I don't like to study for tests.
68. I love Play-Doh.
69. I am too forgiving.
70. I have a good sense of direction.
71. I like high school.
72. I have a talent of sweet talking my way out of things.
73. I don't drink enough to get drunk.
74. I love kisses on the forehead.
75. I love the color blue
76. I don't sew.
77. I am not addicted to drugs.
78. I love the Olsen twins.
79. I'm gonna try out for the softball team.
80. I become stressed easily.
81. I hate liars.
82. I like comfy sweatpants.
83. Bam Margera is AWESOME!!!!!! who?
84. I love the smell of fresh laundry.
85. I love my family.
86. I don't mind getting shots.
87. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things.
88. I always wanted to learn to play the drums.
89. I hate the feeling of failure.
90. I am still a virgin.
91. I would love to have my own fashion line.
92. I can be quite selfish.
93. I still act like a little kid.
94. Above all, I despise dishonesty.
95. I can stay on the computer forever
96. I loVe music.
97. I wish I was more motivated when it comes to school.
98. I love getting stuff in the mail.
99. I have problems letting go of people.
100. I hate the feeling of being alone.

Survey #21:

Basics:
[Name] Katrina
[Nickname] Kat, Katnicity, Katness, Kit-Kat
[Screen name] il0vech0c0lat
[Birthday] 02 sept, 86
[Age] 18
[Astrological sign] virgo
[Chinese zodiac sign?] tiger
[Location]Sydney
[Sexual Preference] males
[Marital Status]uhhh...technically single
[Religion] hmmmm...I'm not really religious
[Eye color] blue/grey
[Height] 5'11ish
[Shoe size]10-11
[Parents still together] uh huh
[Siblings] 1 bro called Steven
[Nieces/Nephews] nope
[Pets] yeah, Sasha, Petey, Bella, Cleo, Alex, Tiger
[In school/graduate] about to start uni, enrolled today
[What do you drive] I don't drive

Favorites
[Color] blue
[Number] hmmmm...wat did I say last time? 2?
[Animal] dunno, I like many
[Vehicle] porsche
[Flower] rose
[Scent] jasmine, gardenia, rose
[Drinks] Bacardi Breezers, Vodka Cruisers, Pepsi, Asti
[Soda] Pepsi
[Book] I like many
[Band] I like many
[Song] I like many

Do you...
[Color your hair?] Not for awhile
[Twirl your hair?] sometimes
[Have tattoos?] nope
[Have Piercings?] yeah
[Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both?] not technically
[Cheat on tests/homework?] not recently
[Drink/Smoke?] drink, not smoke
[ Like roller coasters?] uh huh
[Wish you could live somewhere else?] sometimes I wish I were in CA
[Want more more piercings?] If my stomach was perfect, I'd want a bely button ring
[Like cleaning?] no
[Write in cursive or print?] I find writing in print slow and weird
[Sweat a lot?] sometimes
[Own a web cam?] nope
[Know how to drive?] nope
[Diet?] hell no
[Own a cell phone?] sure
[Ever get off the damn computer?] Yeah

Have you ever...
[Gotten a speeding ticket?] nope
[Been in a wreck?] nope
[Been arrested?] nope
[Been in a fist fight?] sure
[Kicked someone in the nuts?] yep
[Stolen anything?] yep
[Held a gun?] nope
[Drank?] yep
[Been so drunk you couldn't remember your name?] nope
[Considered a life of crime?] lol, no
[Considered being a hooker?] lol, hell no
[Cheated on someone? ] no, that's not nice
[Cried over a girl?] hmmm...cried during fights with female friends
[Cried over a boy?] often
[Lied to someone?] ofcourse
[Been in love?] uh huh
[Fallen for your best friend?] nope
[Made out with JUST a friend?] nope
[Been rejected?] ummm...not really
[Been in lust?] sure
[Used someone?] uhh....I'm sure I have
[Been used?] yep
[Been cheated on?] uhh...maybe
[Been kissed?] yeah
[Experimented with homosexuality?] nope
[Current mood] ok
[Current taste] In my mouth? ummm...chocolate and peanuts
[Current hair] medium length, dark blonde, layered slightly
[Current thing I ought to be doing] hmm...nothing really
[Current cds in stereo] 0, took it out for my canerra trip
[Current crush] Brad, I guess
[Current job] waitress/host at Lonestar

The last time...
[Last book you read] ummm....Absolute Power
[Last movie you saw] Freaky Friday
[Last thing you ate] chocolate
[Last person you talked to on the phone] hmmm...my mum

Do you...
[Do drugs?] nope
[Have a dream that keeps coming back?] I used to have a recurring nightmare
[Play an instrument?] naah :(
[Believe there is life on other planets?] it's likely
[Remember your first love?] yep
[Still love him/her?] yep
[Read the news?] yeah
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?] sure
[Believe in miracles?] sometimes
[Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?] ofcourse
[Consider yourself tolerant of others?] depends if they're pissing me off or not
[Consider love a mistake?] at times
[Have a favorite candy?] malteasers
[Believe in astrology?] not really
[Believe in magic?] nope
[Believe in God?] uhh...not sure
[Do well in school?] If I apply myself
[Go to or plan to go to college] plan to go to uni
[Wear hats?] yeah
[Hate yourself?] sometimes
[Have an obsession?] hmmm...maybe
[Have a secret crush?] nope
[Do they know yet?] N/A
[Collect anything?] uhh...It would seem I collect pets, lol
[Have a best friend?] yeah, Sonia and Robyn and Mona
[Close friends?] yeah
[Like your handwriting?] not really, depends
[Care about looks?] yeah
[Love life] what about it?
[First crush] this guy I was bay-sat with when I was lil
[First kiss] Keith, my first bf
[single or attached?] techncally single
[Ever been in love?] yes
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] lust maybe, not love
[Do you believe in "the one?"] sure
[Describe your ideal significant other] sweet, caring, loving, sensitive, tender, attentive, smart, preferably good-looking, punctual

Juicy stuff...
[Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?] nope
[Are you a tease] lol, yeah
[Shy to make the first move?] sometimes

Are you a...
[Wuss] lol, sometimes
[Druggy] nope
[Daydreamer] often
[Freak] lol, I hope not
[Dork] hmmm..at times
[Bitch/Asshole] can be
[Brat] lol, often
[Sarcastic] yes
[Angel] lol when I want to be
[Devil] nooooor, never ;)
[Shy] yeah
[Talkative] When I'm with people I'm comfortble with
[Flirty] yes

*********LOVE LIFE ETC*********
29. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED: yeah
30. HOW OLD DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR FIRST CHILD? mid 20's
31. HOW OLD DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GET MARRIED?: early 20's
32. WOULD YOU HAVE KIDS BEFORE MARRIAGE: nope
33. DO YOU HAVE A BF/GF: not technically
34. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH: I guess
35: GUYS/GIRLS: girls
36. YELLOW/ORANGE: yellow
37. GREEN/BLUE: blue
38. PINK/PURPLE: pink
39. SUMMER/WINTER:summer
40. NIGHT/DAY: uhhhhh...depends
41. HANGIN OUT/CHILLIN: hanging out
42.DOPEY/FUNNY:

*********ALL ABOUT YOU*********
43. WEIRD SAYING: sheesh(?)
44. FAVORITE SAYING: uhhh....I dunno
45. WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO: I'm going to be going to UWS
46. HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN DRUGS: only painkillers
47. WHAT'S A MAJOR TURN ON FOR YOU: ummm....plenty of things
48. HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE: not too far

*********THE PERSON YOU KNOW WHO IS*********
49. MOST BLONDE: lol, prolly me
50. BEST PERSON: hmmm...I think all of my friends are the best
51. NICEST: Sonia
52. FUNNIEST: at times, Brad
53. STRANGEST: uhhh...I'm pretty strange
54. WHICH 6 PEOPLE ARE YOU OPEN WITH AND TRUST THE MOST?: Cole, Brad, Sonia, Mona, Mum, Dad
55. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SOUL MATES: I wish I knew who mine was
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU CRIED OR GOT TEARY ABOUT: Brad
57. ARE YOU HAPPY: sometimes
58. WHAT IS AN OBJECT YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT: uhh...make-up
59. LOVE OR LUST: love
60.TRUST OR HONESTY: both
61. SILVER OR GOLD: white gold
62. DIAMOND OR PEARL: diamond
63. SUNSET OR SUNRISE: sunset
64. HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: nope
65. DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS OR REGULAR ANIMALS: uhhh...my teddy
66. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS: yeah
67. WHAT COLOR UNDIES/BOXERS/BREIFS ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW: lime green boyleg panties
68. WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: N/A
69. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER: 1109
70. WHERE WOULD YOU WANT TO GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON: don't know....somewhere in Europe
71. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX: uhh...body
72:WHAT'S YOUR FAVORTIE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: English and Drama
73. FAVORITE SPORT: horse riding
74. WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY:plenty of things
75. WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET: dunno!
76. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS OR GLASSES: neither
77. WHAT'S THE BEST ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU: Do what's best for you, but don't ignore other's needs
78. HAVE YOU EVER WON ANY SPECIAL AWARDS: yeah
79. WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE GOALS: finish my degree, have a career, get married, have a kiddie or 2
80. WORST SICKNESS YOU EVER HAD: ummm...prolly just the common tummy bug
81. DO YOU LIKE FUNNY OR SCARY MOVIES BETTER: funny
82. ON THE PHONE OR IN PERSON: person
83. HUGS OR KISSES: both
84. WHAT SONG SEEMS TO REFLECT YOU THE MOST: umm..."bitch" Allanis Morrisette
85. MICHAEL JACKSON/R.KELLY: lol neither
86. DO YOU HAVE ANY ENEMIES: uh huh
87. WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR: being alone and rape
88. WOULD YOU RATHER BE RICH OR FAMOUS: rich
89: IF YOU DIED TOMORROW- WHO WOULD YOU LEAVE EVERYTHING TO?: family and friends
91. DO YOU WANNA DIE IN YOUR SLEEP OR A DIFFERENT WAY: sleep sounds good
92. IF E.T. KNOCKED ON YOUR DOOR HOLDING UP A PEACE SIGN ASKING TO USE YOUR PHONE WHAT WOULD YOU DO: tell him to come on in
93. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TALKED TO THE PERSON YOU LIKED: ummm...3 days ago
94. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: sure
95:WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL: I like many
96. ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC: lol, no
97.. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: Cole
98.. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT PERSON: he's cool
99.WHEN DID YOU BECOME FRIENDS: 2 years ago
100. DID YOU LIKE THIS SURVEY: it was a marathon

If you made it though that *claps*

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watching: the screen, what's with this question?? What else would I be watching?? I'm online, duh!
listening to: Boulevard of Broken Dreams (again!) Nooooor, I'm not a Green Day maniac, It's playing on MTV
mood: hmm....good, today, I think

Australia Day Flyball Comp.
Yesterday we went to Canberra to compete in the Australia day comp. We thought it was gonna be a walk in the park, but holy shit! The other teams have all of a sudden gotten good, like really good, our Australian record almost got broken I woulda been pissed if that happened. Our team was in the first race of the day, and my mum was the captain, so she thought, "ok, we'll put our fastest combination in, make a statement, scare the shit outta everyone, like we do every comp.". But we ended up JUST winning, due to the unforced errors of the other team, who btw, used to be our fellow club members. See, the thing is, we used to be in this club, but cos we were so good and we were beating the favourite team in the club and we wanted to start up the seeding process in the club, we basically got shunned by half the club. So eventually we got sick of it and started up our own club. So now our old club members are actually our arch enemy. So they almost beat us, which sucks. We used to get put down by them for being too competitive and now they're copying our training techniques and have got all new fast border collies on their team, UGH!. What we really need is a height dog. See, the height of the jump depends on the height of the smallest dog on the team. Our dogs have to jump at 15 inches, while most other teams dog's only hafta jump at 10 or 12inches. So we really get slowed down. Though, we did win the Nationals and break the Aus record jumping at 15 inches. But, yesterday was hot and one of our fastest dogs shut down and everything seemed to go wrong, so I think we only came 3rd, out of 4 teams, oh well.

Cleo!
I spent the day with Cleo and her brother's and sisters. I actually don't know which dog I'm getting yet, cos the owners are yet to make up their mind about who they're keeing but I do have 2 favourites. There's this one puppy, "Arrow" who's really pretty, she's got really small, delicate bone structure and she's the smallest of all of them. She's my favourite, but I think she's one of the ones that the owners really like, so, we'll see. There's also "Dot", who I liked from day one, she's really cute too and she's kinda more cuddly, "Arrow's" a lil more cheeky and outgoing though, so I dunno. If they don't choose "Arrow" or "Dot", then I'll prolly choose "Arrow". So, I got to spend the day helping to look after them and make sure they weren't stolen, cos that's a real danger. These dogs are worth anywhere from $600-$800, so the owners were really protective of them all day, plus they haven't had any vaccinations yet, so I only got to hold one of them once. It was fun just watching them play in their lil pen though.

The cute athlete guys
I thought they were worth atleast a mention. Flyball wasn't the only sport on, there were marathons and stuff to, so these cute athlete guys in their tank tops and lil running shorts stopped by for a lil while and watched us race....and, uhhh....I watched them, lol. 'Twas fun.

Conclusion
Anyway, Brad should be on in about 10 minutes or so, and I don't really feel like writing anymore, so meh...maybe later I'll write some more.
Oh yeah! Go Leyton Hewitt, you good thing! He won his quarter final match against some guy. Yaaaaay! Onto the semi's he goes, hopefully he'll kick some Andy Roddick butt!

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You just got lucky, that's all...
I don't wanna hear another word about candlelight and long-stem roses,
how you're falling head over heels,
In love, so what? Big deal.
Shut up, who cares, You just got lucky, that's all.

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watching: the screen, damn screen >:(
listening to: "Pimp my ride" my dad and bro are watcing it on MTV
mood: so sad

Religion and this poem

I don't usually read poetry, it's nice and everything and some of it's inspiring, but usually, if I don't relate to it, then I lose interest in reading it after the first stanza, or so. But this poem's kinda different, my mum found it and is sending it to my grandad, cos his wife died and I like it, I can relate to it, even though i'm not really into God. I was actually having a discussion about reigion with my dad the other night, last night I think, on the way home from work. I was telling him that I don't really buy all the God stuff and the bible and everything and he was like, "well humans have so much energy, it's gotta go somewhere when we die". I think it makes more sense that it just gets put back into nature though, like if you're buried under a tree, the worms take in your energy, or it goes into helping the tree grow and live. Well, that's what I believe anyway. So, nobody will prolly read this poem, but I don't care, it's my web log and I like it, so it's going in.

Brad

I am really, really frustrated and angry and hurt and annoyed, because of him. It's been 24 hours, more, since we last talked and our last coversation wasn't that great, infact, the last time I've had really amicable feelings towards him was the last time we were intimate (god, I hope he never reads this journal, he'd hate me). When he calls me, sparks fly and all of our problem and troubles seem to disppear, it's just him and I and we can be whoever we want to be, it's amazing. Lately, online, there's just all of this built up resentment I have against him, I can't talk to hm and have a regular, normal conversation, I can't flirt with him and talk to him about stuff that I'm thinking about, every conversation leads to us arguing or talking about how dificult things are. Ugh, stupid "The O.C." theme song is on t.v...I hate hearing it, cos he's from there and...just...ugh. If things don't work out between Brad and I, then Cole, please NEVER let me get into this situation again. If I start to get close to somebody online, then yell at me or something, do everything possible to let me know how foolish I'm being. I've never felt so much longing and pain and confusion at any one time in my life, as I am now. He actually told me, last time we talked, that we shouldn't plan when we're gonna talk online anymore, cos it's too difficult if something comes up and he can't talk or he's late. Things between us are going from bad to worse. People could place bets on when things are going to end between us...Two years, what a waste of such a good thing. Things could have worked out if he put in as much as I. I miss him so much. I resent the pain he's causing me. Yuck, mixed feelings are so confusing, it's causing me to put walls up when I talk to him, I'm like a robot..."yes", "ok", "alright", "sure". I wonder if he thought about me today.

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