i don't like it when people leave me hangin for weeks at a time and then think that they can just chill with me like they didn't do that.

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ever have that feeling where you just don't want to think anymore, so you don't have to think about the bad things in life that are happening to you. that's how i feel.

i haven't done anything that i'm proud of and yet my parents are so happy and excited for what they think i've done. i'm guilty for doing nothing. i've cut every single corner of life possible and now i regret that because it's gotten me nowhere. i wish i knew what i wanted and i wish i wasn't pressured into feeling like this. i need to grow up already but i don't know how to...

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i just realized it's hard to be happy .
9 more weeks i'm back to oxnard.
it's the weirdest feeling ever.
i'm gonna miss everything about riverside/mo val.
i love this place and all the people i've met here.
i dunno what i'm gonna do when i'm back in the ox.
shit. is all i can say. the real world is gonna eat me up and swallow me whole.

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UC RIVERSIDE RUINED ALL FACETS OF MY LIFE.

1. everything i learn goes in one ear and out the other.
2. the things i have learned cannot be applied into my life or into future jobs.
3. the way i view relationships has become twisted and unrealistic.
4. living 2 hrs away from home has kept me away from my family and friends from high school.

the only thing that i got outta UCR is SOPi and my p sisters. =) i guess all in all it was worth it.

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fuck the bullshit

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i secretly hope that i don't get in.
i know that i won't.
i don't want to have high hopes just to have them ccrushed.

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