~~ I took this from a bulletin on myspace. Its hilarious so I thought I'd share! ~~

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Mom" With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.


Dear Mom,:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son Jon


P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

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Gummi Bear death

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If this doesn't make you laugh ... or at least smile ... then I dunno what will:

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Maybe if I stare at the phone long enough, he'll text me...

Or maybe if I stare at my door long enough, he'll actually show up...

Do you think its possible?

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I hate my goddamn job!!!

I've come to realize that they're going to use me right up until my last day. And ya know what? I already know that my last day, I'm not going to give a rat's ass what the fuck I do. I will do specific things, but other than that, I will make no effort to do anything extra. I won't give a fuck at that point, because what are they gonna do? Fire me? HA!!!

I really don't mind opening; I really don't, but when they call me at quarter till 11 the night before asking me if I could open just so that they could get drunk and play games? I honestly don't find that fair. She's the fucking General Manager for God's sake! She makes a fuck load more than me, yet I do a shit ton more work than her.

Fuck!

Now I'm pissed off and I'm wide awake again. So much for trying to actually get some sleep tonight.

And this is what I would love to do to half the people I work with. I really should learn to control my violent tendencies.

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Its frickin 3:45am and I'm still awake. Gah!

Stuart is home from the hospital, but I'll elaborate more on what's going on with him tomorrow on my other name.

I'm off to bed. I'm going to attempt sleep even though I'm not in the least bit tired.

Wish me luck!

~ ha, not really. I'm sure I'll have no trouble going to sleep. It might just not be right away. ~

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