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And we are magic talking to itself, noisy and alone.
Anne Sexton
Let the truth blow like a hurricane through me.


joanieloveschachi
age. 23
gender. female
more info.
Deeper than bones.
Say shit, say death, say fuck the father,
Satan says, down my ear.
The pain of the locked past buzzes
in the child's box on her bureau, under
the terrible round pond eye
etched around roses, where
self-loathing gazed at sorrow.

excerpt from Satan Says by Sharon Olds
Life is not to fear...life is to enjoy


October 2008

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Current theme song.
song: Ghetto Gospel
artist: Tupac feat. Elton John

Hit 'em with a little ghetto gospel

[Chorus: Elton John]
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
and the red sun sinks at last
into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sound of guns

[Verse 1]
If I could recollect before my hood days
I'd sit and reminisce thinkin of bliss of the good days
I stop and stare at the younger my heart goes to 'em
They guessed it was stress that they under
And nowadays things changed
Everyone's ashamed of the youth
Cuz the truth look strange
And for me it's reversed
We left them a world that's cursed and it hurts
Cuz any day they'll push the button
And all good men like Malcolm X
and Bobby Hutton died for nothin
Don't it make you get teary, the world looks dreary
When you wipe your eyes see it clearly
There's no need for you to fear me
If you take your time to hear me
Maybe you can learn to cheer me
It ain't about black or white cuz we're human
I hope we see the light before it's ruined
My Ghetto Gospel

[Chorus]
Those who wish to follow me (Ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
and the red sun sinks at last
into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sound of guns

[Verse 2]
Tell me do you see that old lady, ain't it sad?
Livin outta bags
But she's glad for the little things she has
And over there there's a lady
Crack got her crazy
Guess who's givin birth to a baby
I don't trip and let it fade me
From outta the frying pan
We jump into another form of slavery
Even now I get discouraged
Wonder if they take it all back
Will I still keep the courage?
I refuse to be a role model
I set goals, take control, drink out my own bottles
I make mistakes but learn from every one
And when it's said and done
I bet this brotha be a better one
If I upset you don't stress
Never forget that God hasn't finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thing
But am I less holy?
Cuz I took a puff of blunt and drink a beer with my homies
Before we find world peace
We gotta find peace and end the war on the streets
My Ghetto Gospel

[Chorus]
Those who wish to follow me (Yea, ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
and the red sun sinks at last
into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sounds of guns

Lord can you hear me speak?
a persuader?
Wednesday. 7.14.04 3:45 am
my career interest inventory from similarminds.com...i like it

Extroverted (E) 50% Introverted (I) 50%
Imaginative (N) 60.53% Realistic (S) 39.47%
Emotional (F) 57.14% Intellectual (T) 42.86%
Organized (J) 51.52% Easygoing (P) 48.48%
Your type is: ENFJ
You are a Persuader, possible professions include - entertainer, recruiter, artist, newscaster, writer/journalist, recreation director, librarian, facilitator, politician, psychologist, housing director, career counselor, sales trainer, travel agent, program designer, corporate/team trainer, child welfare worker, social worker (elderly services), interpreter/translator, occupational therapist, executive
Take Free Career Inventory Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

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excerpt from 'the native' by sharon olds
Wednesday. 7.7.04 7:47 pm
...This feels like
Who I am, I am the caressing of him,
and maybe especially this caressing,
gentle sweeping at the borders of sex
sweeper of its sills in half-sleep...

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coincidence
Saturday. 5.15.04 3:39 pm
A very "special" dictionary. by lily22
Look up:
Definition:One who doggedly pursues goals, no matter what the cost, in the hopes that somehow, in the end, an impossibility might be achieved; a masochist.
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

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the execution of Nick Berg
Wednesday. 5.12.04 11:07 pm
watching: the news
mood: outraged

Nick Berg was a U.S. citizen and self-employed telecommunications engineer who travelled independently to Iraq in hopes of landing contracts to repair radio antennas. He looked at the war from the perspective of bringing democracy to a people who couldn't have it and wanted to help rebuild the war-torn country. After originally being arrested by Iraqi police as a spy "because of his Jewish name," he was put into U.S. custody and allegedly encouraged to take a plane home due to the volatile climate directed toward Americans in Iraq. He declined the plane ride and said he would get back to the U.S. over land. Sometime after being released from U.S. custody, he was captured by extremists linked to Al-Qaida and beheaded with a knife. The masked killers taped the killing and posted it on the internet. The video is causing all kinds of controversy but I just can't post the link because it is really, truly haunting and above all, very real. I downloaded the video and almost couldn't bear to watch his dripping head hang from someone's hand in the name of God. It's all over the internet, so if you're really itching to see it, you won't have a problem finding it.

The brutal beheading of Nick Berg was an Islam extremist reaction to the recent Abu Ghraib prison abuses, as the masked killers claimed in their statement preceeding Berg's execution. While there is no justification for this malicious murder, it makes you wonder what kind of good we are doing in Iraq. Have we made the world safer for Americans with this war? I don't think so. And this iconic murder is proof of that. While Berg's death was tragic, horrible, intolerable...the real issue here should be what caused this to happen. Coalition presence in Iraq and the recent Abu Ghraib prison scandal are the most apparent; but I have a feeling it doesn't even begin to encapsulate the rage of insurgents, extremists and terrorist groups that hate us with all the fires of the bombs we have dropped on their cities. And I just think it's really convenient that this video tape surfaces at the heels of the prison abuses that have shocked the world. Six months before the 2004 presidential election and counting, the Bush team needs now more than ever to personify the enemy and subsequently sway public opinion again in their favor. I can't think of a more powerful way to accomplish that than prompting every newspaper in the country to run a picture of Nick Berg's head on the front page. If you search the internet right now you'll probably find a lot of "let's kill those sick fucks" and "can we kill them now, please?" How can we forget already what we have done to them? We have annihilated their country, killed their innocent, devastated their way of life and humiliated their people. We need to keep things in perspective. There is a reason for everything. Nick Berg's execution was retribution; in response to the wrongs done to them. The media is going to characature "the nature of the enemy" with the images of his murder. But what about the images of our injustices to Iraqi detainees? Is the "nature of the hero" a picture of coalition soldiers posing near a heap of naked Iraqi prisoners illegally forced to engage in sexual acts with one another? How can we allow ourselves to overlook that? How is our moral righteousness upheld in the face of such atrocity? Who are we to judge who is more evil?

You can read the full story on Nick Berg's life and death here.

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"you are attached to suffering"
Saturday. 5.8.04 11:49 pm
i thought my results of a few personality tests from similarminds.com were fairly compelling. it seems trivial but they can be completely accurate sometimes...but i guess accuracy depends on what you are willing to accept about yourself.


Enneagram Test Results
Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||| 61%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||||| 73%
Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||||||| 66%
Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 81%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||| 45%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||| 53%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||| 49%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||||| 58%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||| 56%
Your Conscious-Surface type is 4w3
Your Unconscious-Overall type is 2w3
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test


Conscious self
Overall self
Take Free Enneagram Personality Test



Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||| 22%
Schizoid |||||||||||| 50%
Schizotypal |||||| 26%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 66%
Borderline |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Histrionic |||||||||||||| 54%
Narcissistic |||||||||| 34%
Avoidant |||||| 26%
Dependent |||||||||||| 42%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||| 34%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test

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check it out
Thursday. 5.6.04 6:20 pm
Live in a swing state? Don't know what that is? Find out and help register voters with drivingvotes.org

articles about the torture of iraqi prisoners inflicted by coalition forces:

The article in the New Yorker that started it all
What? This has been happening for a year?
America's moral high ground?
An Iraqi inmate speaks out
What the Bush team has to say about it
And where the hell was the media?

Find tons more links about the Abu Ghraib prison abuses at michealmoore.com (scroll down to Must Read)

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