I'm finding it harder to have something to say
thats why this post is about nothing at all...
I've got a ton of work on my research but not feeling particularly willing to do it, my father got sick a few days ago, he lost sight of his left eye, we didn't knew if he would see again, fortunately his sight is back and all the family is relieved he can't drive yet though so I've been taking him everywhere and well doing my own stuff too so today I was barely in the house

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very cute harry potter vid ^-^

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Well the last few entries were too dark thanks for your opinion Zanzibar
>_< but lets talk about what have lighten up my mood: Japanese comedians


since I was a little girl I wanted to become a man, not because I'd like to have the body of a man, but because the social benefits of being a man in Mexico are really greater than the ones I get for being a woman. I wont discuss such benefits cuz that's not really what I wanna talk about. So I do Like my woman body a lot, I didn't wanted to have a man's body until i saw this:


I'd do Hard Gay over and over up that sweet sweet bum...
too bad he isn't really gay...
too bad he is married to a super model...
too bad he lives all the way across the pacific ocean...

anyways I'm having nice dreams today

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I was watching "Pump up the Volume" with a really young Christian Slater, and there's a scene in the movie about suicide, a guy asks Slater's character about killing himself.

Don't you have the feeling that asking someone about killing oneself is almost as obscene as asking, pfff I dunno, how do you wash down there when you take a shower?

I mean, suicide is so intimate, is a choice people have to make all alone, is like touching yourself, is a choice you always have, and you don't really talk about it unless you're drunk or with friends.

I think people talk about suicide when they don't really want to do it, they talk about it when they're desperate for having another opportunity, to hear that you appreciate them or love them, that they matter...

Some friends in the past have come to me to talk about killing themselves, I always answer the same: "It's your choice, I can say a million things, I can assure you that things are going to get better, but in the end of the day is your life, not mine, and you know how it is, and I don't, I have a pretty good Idea, but don't really know. So is your choice. I'd rather you wont go through with it, because I'll miss you a lot, I love you, and I hate that I can't do anything to make you feel better... Call me egoistic but I want you here with me..."
that's more or less what I tell them.... neither have killed themselves.

Suicide is very intimate, very lonely decision.
Lemme Know what you think.

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So I'm back from a ball, my friend graduated from law school so I was at her party and I got drunk

Im not dead and that's a plus
I think.....



and Yay! Im drunk!

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I am in a lonely place now......

I have barely spoken to anyone, the last few days, not in person anyways, unless they're asking me for a favor...

doing favors seems the only way to get someone to talk to me lately

it feels shitty, I don't think I'm such a bad person, or boring.... I can't get it...

thanks for the comments,
Lol Iki

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I dunno what have been happening in my life, its all so blurry

I wish I was dead

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