shawn's mom's boss won't let her go to harrisburg now because of the weather, and so now that means that I have practice tomorrow, I have to cheer on Thursday, and on Saturday. This sucks.

tonight on the bus was fun, but still awful. Kelly and Summer, thank you two so much for being there, you girls are so great, I love you both. I'm so glad that you understand how bad that feels.

I love you, and I never want to be apart from you. I hate it when we fight sometimes, even though that hasn't happened recently. I miss you when you're not around, and just wish that I could always be with you, even though that's meerly impossible. I love you though, that'll never change.

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i stayed home until noon because i didn't really feel like going to school. i slept until 9:30 then got up and got around and everything and played PS2 with Daniel. It was great. But he started to cry when I told him that he has to get a shot in his butt. (he doesn't really)

it's okay that you didn't go to school, but i really hope you walk downtown with me tomorrow. i can't wait until valentine's day, because i am going to get the best most wonderful present from you. haha, even though i know what it is. you're the greatest, i love you.


SOMETHING AMAZING HAS HAPPENED

i (hopefully) am getting out of school with Shawn on Wednesday and going to Harrisburg with him until Friday! We get to go watch the farm show! That is so awesome, even though I don't understand why they have an awesome farmshow in a gay city. Just like TSC, why are they all in the city? So gay city-slickers can go there and look cool buying farmer clothes? Nice try, but it's never happening.

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was alot harder than i thought it would be. seeing derrike was so crushing. sitting there looking at her and remembering the times when she was smiling and laughing was really hard. and the songs that derrike requested to be played were really sad. i really hope he's alright, i feel so bad for him. :(

thank you for going with me, it made it alot better to know that you were there next to me. sorry that i was crying and stuff, but i guess that was expected. i miss her, but i have you, and that makes me feel so much better. thanks for being supportive with everything, i love you so much.

finally on to something that made me really happy; i got four new fish!! and a new tank and everything for them. i can't wait to have my own house and have a huge fish tank with an automatic feeder in case i forget. i love fish, and i love the sound the filter makes. :) I hope they don't die, i paid a whole .28 cents for them.

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..he's getting older everyday, and I am totally dreading the day when he's going to be too big to pick up and chase around outside, and rock him to sleep and everything. I never thought that I would love that little kid so much. It was so awesome tonight when he asked me if I would rock him to sleep and rub his back so he could fall asleep. Aw, I love being an Aunt.

dreading going to Sandy's funeral tomorrow, but Shawn's dad and Derrike will probably be a little more at ease if Shawn and I go, just because. I can't believe that she's gone, it feels like just yesterday that I saw her everyday when she came to pick up Derrike from nursery school. But everything happens for a reason, and I'm sure she's happier now. I miss you.

I had a really fun day with you today, even though you dad LOVES to make me feel like an ass. Haha, like the "alarm" thing. Damn that was funny. My stepdad is a huge fisher, and I told him that and he about died laughing. Haha, I love your dad. It was fun feeding that dog smarties, even if it does get sick. Haha. Thank you for finally giving in to going to the funeral tomorrow, because I was going to go anyway, and it will make it alot better if you're there. You're the greatest hun, I'm so lucky to have you.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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R.I.P. Sandy, you were the nicest person, I've known you all my life. Thanks for being a good friend to everyone in the family, we all love and miss you.

"While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet her behind the veil."

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