It seems like my quest for love? lust? temporarily during the past weeks taken over my quest for power. I think it was a period of time during my life I felt so lonely that I desperately needed someone there for me. But really I realise I was born alone and will die alone, and ultimately don't need anyone in my life to suceed in my ambitions.

As I look upon the flock of sheep being the wolf I am, I wonder why I even bothered to try to associate or belong with them. I do not belong with them, nor can I accept myself as a sheep. In the world of survival, there is only the motto to eat or to be eaten.

Longing for love is something we all feel, but it dissappears eventually being a temporal emotion. Ones goal in life is something that won't dissapear no matter how we try, and how old we are. To have the power to scare,kill,eat any sheep I want in this large world is something that won't bring me happiness, but satisfaction. If I can't be happy, at least I shall be satisfied, that itself is something to be envied.

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Meet the new criminal elite
October 23, 2003

THEY'RE young, fearless and multi-skilled - the criminal gangs of today could be mistaken for up-and-coming corporate entrepreneurs.

Driven by a lust for money, the new breed of gangs:

RECRUIT across Sydney, fuelled by the corporate creeds of outsourcing, partnerships and diversity;

JUST as major companies are dumping rigid structures, the new gang is an organised but loose coalition of criminals;

CRIMINALS are recruited for specific jobs, such as youths used as ram-raid decoy drivers;

COMPETING groups form temporary alliances for one-off criminal enterprises;

THE gangs are also more likely to be involved in cyber and identity fraud; and

THE gang leaders of 2003 are also younger, aged from late teens to mid 20s.
"They have become more fluid and entrepreneurial in how they operate and are spreading their enterprise across various fields," gangs squad commander Detective Superintendent Ken McKay said.

"At the upper level, criminal groups will not just be into drugs but car re-birthing, identity fraud, false credit cards, counterfeiting, money laundering and firearms distribution.

"Ten years ago we did a lot of drug operations - just drugs - now criminal enterprises are spread across various fields."

Supt McKay said his squad had been successful in dismantling and disrupting criminal groups "but you can't take the market out of play, so there is always someone else there to replace them", he said.

Frighteningly, the gangs are armed to the hilt - handguns being the weapon of choice.

On the drug front, gangs have now moved from importing to manufacturing, relying on backyard laboratories to produce tonnes of amphetamines and derivatives.

The Daily Telegraph

-Infamity at its best.

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Ravens Love's poetry.

I knew for a long time,
That I loved you so,
The moment I realised this feeling
Was the most difficult day of my life.

I couldn't escape the feeling as though I ran into it,
I couldn't run away as though I was captured
But no one understands how I feel
The world probably thinks I am crazy.

The wind blows,
I wonder if it's listening.
If anyone else felt the same love as myself
They could understand how I feel.

Escapism makes me lust after it more,
Escapism hurts me ultimately,
What can I do, since it's too late.
The love I know is different from the rest of the world.

I ran out of my last ciggerate..(only smokers would know this feeling)
The moon is sad
If anyone is in the same situation as myself
run before it's too late.

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Girl never picked up the phone, and today at 8am I called hoping she'd answer the phone. Some guy picked up the phone saying a girl sold him the phone before she went back to korea. I wonder if she ever knew, or perhaps she did and she was too scared that it might all be one big fantasy.

Looks like back to square 1 again for me.

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The girl has been avoiding me all day. I am next to the location of where she is staying hoping I bump into her. I wonder if she knows I am camping outside hoping to run into her , in the rain.
Time to wait outside in the cold rain again..

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There are things you should say and things you shouldn't. Infact most people would call me crazy for revealing what she does. Yet If anything I have just admiration. Someone forced into such despicable situation yet always smiling and always treating other people ahead of her. Infact she avoids me because she is embarrased and doesn't think she is worthy of attention which makes me want her more.

Most girls in her situation would jump at the offer , yet she always denies me ,because she's worried her friends would be left alone if she just comes along with me. She even got dragged into her occupation to help her friends mounting debt out.

I'd hate to say it, but I am a piss weak person when it comes to romantic ideas of love and idealism. Ultimately really I want someone who trusts me to be therefore them no matter what. Last thing I want is a relationship where the girl causes me more pressure and more stress than I already have. I want someone who can trust me and always put me before anything else no matter how hard life may be for them. I think I am lucky to have found someone special like that.

As much as I would like someone as an equal, I know two ambitious people would resolve in many conflicts. Someone like her who would always accept me no matter what would bring happiness in my life once more. Wish me luck in convincing her to live here with me.

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