Well, last night turned out okay. I went and picked up Ray, Taylor, and Cory to bring them to the house. A little after we got there, Matt showed up with a bunch of blankets for them. They played video games for hours, and I layed there on the couch until I fell asleep. At about 2:00AM, Matt woke me up because he wanted to go to bed. However, he woke me up early in the morning because he was sick. Then, the alarm went off at 6:30AM for Matt to go to work. Unfortunately, I was tired so I shut it off and fell back asleep. At about 7:45AM, I finally woke up (Matt had to be to work by 8:00AM). Matt hurried out the door so that he could go home to get a shower and get to work. I have to work tonight from 4:00PM till closing; I hope Matt gives me a call and doesn't end up hanging out with Sabrina (since Dusty and Mike wouldn't even come over last night because they couldn't bring Samantha or Sabrina to my house).

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Well, the whole college plan is falling through... I don't know how I'm going to possibly pay for Wilkes University, even though I got accepted. The cost is about $30,000 a year, and Vicky is refusing to help pay for any of it. Basically, this isn't looking very good... On another note, Matt is having a "Halo Party" tonight at my house. I'm going to pick Taylor up at about 9:30PM, and then he's going to show me where Ray lives so I can pick him up. Then, we'll come back to the house and wait for Matt to get back from work...

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Today is Matt's birthday, and it's going fairly okay so far... He got here this morning at about 11:30AM, and I presented him with his apple pie "birthday cake" (which I prepared from a frozen state just last night). After that, we went to Ace Video to rent something we could watch. However, I ended up buying a vhs and a dvd (since they were cheap and looked like good movies). While we were in Canton, we also went to the bank so I could get money and to the Bilo for dog food. When we got back with our purchases (I bought the movies The Beach and some other movie that's from the director of Independence Day and involves an Ice Age), we began to watch The Beach. However (and this doesn't happen very much with us), Matt got horny so we turned off the movie and went at it for awhile. Sex is nice; I like it... After that, we watched more of the beach, and Matt went to work. Apparently, Miranda, Stephanie, and some 21-year-old guys are coming over to the house tonight. It seems that these guys have the hots for Miranda, and they are going to "watch movies". Miranda and Stephanie are going to stay the night here, and so is Matt (when he finally gets home from work around 10:30PM).

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Tomorrow is the Veteran's Day assembly, and I have to read my VOD essay (which I won the contest for last year) to the entire school. I'm absolutely terrified! Plus, after I read the thing, I have to sit up on stage for the entire assembly! I honestly think I will throw up or die or something, but I can't say I don't want to do it because I'd probably have to tell Mr. Holland (who is extremely intimidating). I'm so nervous! Then, to add to things, Matt was supposed to have a dentist appointment today. However, it got cancelled so he decided he wouldn't even show up for school. Therefore, I waited for him half the day until I called to find out what was going on. Gordie answered and started rambling about how Matt went with Mike and Dusty to Kim's house to mess with his drumset that came in today. Then, I called Kim's. Matt didn't even know what time to come meet me after school to get our pictures (and my senior pictures) from Heavenly Horizons Photography. Anyway, the pictures turned out fairly well; I'll probably bring them to school tomorrow to pass out to people...

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When can everything finally go right? Is it even possible?! Everything I try always goes wrong. I think the worst part is when I get happy and then am brought down even lower than before. That's when things really start to suck. This Saturday, I was going to let Matt's friends come over for a sort of guy's video game party. Now, however, Miranda is insisting on coming over so Matt's friends will probably want to go somewhere else. Therefore, Sabrina will almost definately be over (and probably Samantha). I will be the exception because Matt will claim that none of them are planning to come over so I shouldn't come. Then, the girls will show up and I will be miserably alone at my house. This is how things always happen, and I figured that I could prevent it just once (and maybe win Matt's friends over again) by letting them come over here. Who am I kidding? I don't deserve to be stress-free... Actually, I need to be stress-free. I went to Dr. Kirkowski's yesterday to try to see what's wrong with me. However, he didn't know. I went this morning with Matt to get bloodwork done at about 8:00AM (for the pains in my side, below my left rib cage). Thursday, I have a consultation appointment in Towanda to see if I can have a scope shoved into my stomach to see what's wrong with me. I'm kind of scared...

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_______Your Life_______
[x] they call me: Sam
[x] sex: female
[x] my first breath of air: 1-2-87
[x] occupation: sandwich artist
[x] siblings: 1 stepbrother, Ryan; 1 sister, Miranda; and 1 half-sister I have not yet found… _______Rewind_______
[x] most memorable memory: My most memorable memories are the first nights Matt and I spent together. Nothing in the world could have made me feel safer back then…
[x] worst?: My worst memory is when Vicky and Dad divorced and I realized that I couldn’t see him as often.
[x] first word uttered: I’m not so sure about that one…
[x] first best friend ever!?: I’m pretty sure it was Tawnya Chaapel because that was way back in the Nursery School days…
_______Love?_______
[x] love is: unconditional. You can’t turn off love, and you are stuck under its spell until you die once you come in contact with it. Love is willing to let that one person go if you know they’ll be happy. Love is butterflies in your stomach; love is hugs and kisses; love is pain. Wow, it’s really hard to listen to myself…
[x] first love: Now, I know it was Matt. Back in the day, I couldn’t tell the difference until I found him and realized what love feels like.
[x] love or lust?: LOVE
[x] best love song: Matt and my song: Crying Shoulder by Edwin McCain
[x] when love hurts, you: try to endure the pain because crying doesn’t help; I’ve learned that from experience…
[x] is there such a thing as love @ first sight?: No, that would automatically be lust because the person is judging the other person by appearance.
[x] first bf/gf?: I think it was Cory Mesko in kindergarten…
[x] last?: It’ll probably always be Matt so he’ll be my last.
_______Opposite Sex_______
[x] turn ons:.muscular guys that can protect me, romance, sense of humor, gelled hair, and a caring nature
[x] do your parent's opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: Yeah, it does, because I don’t think they should have an opinion in the matter; it’s my life so I’m allowed to screw it up…
[x] what kinda hair style?: I like kind of wavy hair, but gelled to a controlled level.
[x] the sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex can do for you?: They can show you they care, not just say it!
[x] where do you go to meet new people?: I guess the answer to that one would be school and work…
[x] are you the type of person to HOLLER and ask for numbers?: How about…no.
[x] have you ever asked a guy out?: Sure, it’s 2004; there’s nothing wrong with it these days…
_______Picky Picky_______
[x] dog or cat: cat…PEACHES!
[x] short or long hair I know a certain someone who adores long hair so there must be some benefit to it…
[x] sunshine or rain: What the hell are you going to do in the rain?!
[x] moon or sun: The moon changes shape so probably the moon…
[x] hugs or kisses: Kisses can cause problems, but everyone needs a hug from time to time…
[x] 1 best friend or 10 acquaintances: 1 best friend is much more personal
[x] summer or winter: Summer has a lot more options than winter. Plus, it means less clothing and an excuse for it!
[x] written letters or e-mails: Written letters are a guaranteed way to touch my heart; I’m a writing type of gal.
[x] playstation or nintendo: Nintendo is much less confusing.
[x] car or motorcycle: Motorcycles hurt me, but cars aren’t as fun. I guess I’m stuck on that one…
[x] house party or club: House parties are a lot more personal. Plus, people don’t have to pay to get in or be a certain age!
[x] sing or dance: Dancing’s a lot more sexy…
[x] freak or slow dance: Slow dances can be so comforting! There’s nothing like being held while two bodies move to the same given rhythm…
[x] vanilla or chocolate?: I think vanilla’s better for you so I’ll go for that…
_______Lately_______
[x] how are you today? I’m okay, but my stomach is upset off and on…
[x] what pants are you wearing right now? My black L.E.I. jeans
[x] What shirt are you wearing right now? A red long-sleeved shirt with layers and black lace underneath
[x] what does your hair look like at the moment? It’s really messy. At one point, it was in a ponytail, but I think gravity is taking over…
[x] what song are you listening to right now? nothing
[x] how is the weather right now? Really fucking cold!
[x] last person you talked to on the phone? Amber Turner
[x] last dream you can remember? Well, I kind of dreamed that I was trying to make Samantha mad so I fucked Mike.
[x] who are you talking to right now? No one
[x] what time is it? 4:22PM
_______More About YOU!_______
[x] what are the last four digits of your phone number? 8222
[x] if you were a crayon, what color would you be? purple
[x] have you ever almost died? Yes, I almost died in Scott’s car…I’ll say no more than he threw his hand across to hold me from going through the windshield.
[x] what's the next CD you are going to buy? Simple Plan: “Still Not Getting Any”
[x] what's the best advice ever given to you? A lot of people have encouraged me with my writing, and I thank them for it because someday it might actually get me somewhere…
[x] have you ever won any special award? VOD essay award, Student of the Month for Science
[x] what's the stupidest thing you have ever done? I had sex in Dad’s basement with Matt, and he caught us…
[x] how many kids do you want to have? 2; I want them to keep each other company, but I don’t want a lot…
[x] shampoo? Chi, it’s really expensive, but it does wonders for my hair!
[x] what are you most scared of? I’m scared to be without Matt, but sometimes I’m scared to be with him…I guess my biggest fear is to be without someone who loves me…
[x] how many TV's do you have in your house? 3
[x] do you have your own TV? Yes, but Matt probably watches it more than I do…
[x] how many computers do you have in your house? 1; my house isn’t really full of computer ppl, just me!
[x] do you have your own computer? Not yet; I’m getting a laptop for college.
[x] have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone? Actually, I’ve been pretty lucky and haven’t.
[x] who do you dream about? I mostly dream of Matt, but the dreams aren’t always good…
[x] who do you tell your dreams to? I tell my dreams to Matt and Scott.
[x] who's the loudest friend you have? That would have to be Scott…
[x] who's the quietest friend? My quietest friend is probably Ryan Ballard.
[x] Is cheerleading a sport? Ah, hell no!
[x] one word that describes you? Unique; or Scott would probably say “Borderline Midget”. Lol.
Age of first kiss: 4, maybe?
real kiss? 12, maybe?
Number of people you've kissed: That’s a tough one; I’ve probably kissed about 14 ppl…
French kissing is: not my hobby anymore, thanks to Matt’s tongue…
The worst kind of kiss is: when it means nothing
The best kisser you know: This is horrible, but Scott…
The worst kisser you know: Josh Barrett
Do you kiss on the first date? I haven’t really been on that many dates…
Eyes open or closed? I trained myself to close my eyes because someone said it wasn’t polite to leave them open….
Average number of kisses you get a day: maybe…3?
Ever kissed a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend? Actually, I don’t think so…
The last person you kissed: Matt
Best place to be kissed: probably my neck, unless there are marks…
Have you kissed someone of the same sex? Come on, you guys know me...
What about the opposite sex? Yeah!
Do you consider kissing cheating? Yeah, I do…
The longest you've gone without a kiss: probably a really long time…
The kiss you regret most is: There are too many to name…
Kissing in public is: okay, now that I know what it’s like to be ignored in public…
Tongue rings are: Awesome, if you don’t have a lisp…
Two girls kissing is: no problem at all.
Two guys kissing is: Really weird…but if they’re happy, to each their own…
-- Eye Color: hazel
-- Hair Color: maybe light brown ( I tell everyone it’s calico)
-- Height: 5'0
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
-- Your Heritage: German, Welch, Pennsylvania Dutch
-- The Shoes You Wore Today: my Mudd boots
-- Your Weakness: kindness
-- Your Perfect Pizza: cold veggie pizza
-- Goal You'd Like To Achieve: being a well-known, published author
LAYER THREE:
-- Your Most Overused Phrase On AIM: lol (Wait, is that really a phrase?
-- Your Thoughts First Waking Up: What’s going to go wrong today?
-- Your Bedtime: I usually go to bed around about 11:00PM
-- Your Most Missed Memory: Matt and my first few nights together
LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Is that really a question to ask a vegetarian?!
-- Single or Group Dates: Single are better; they’re not like a competition...
-- Adidas or Nike: I don’t really care; it depends on the specific style of the shoe…
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: idk
-- Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino
LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoking: It’s okay, as long as a person doesn’t excessively do it or smell like it all the time…
-- Cuss: Just don’t do it excessively.
-- Sing: Singing’s awesome, as long as it’s not overdone.
-- Take A Shower Everyday: Obviously. Eww to you if you don’t!
-- Have A Crush: yeah…I do…*starts to smile and stops herself before she looks like an idiot*
-- Do You Think You've Been In Love: I wouldn’t be holding on this tight if I wasn’t…
-- Want To Go To College: In most cases, it’s a necessity so yes…
-- Like(d) High School: High school is okay, but I’m tired of all the drama with peers. Then again, I know I’m going to miss everyone when I graduate…
-- Want To Get Married: I’m hoping for that diamond ring before college…
-- Believe In Yourself: not really
-- Get Motion Sickness: I never used to, but now it seems like I constantly do so easy!
-- Think You're Attractive: no
-- Think You're A Health Freak: a little bit, but everybody slips…
-- Get Along With Your Parent(s): some of them…
-- Like Thunderstorms: Not at all!
-- Play An Instrument: I always wanted to play the keyboard or drums (lovely mix, huh)?
LAYER SIX:
In The Past Month...
-- Drank Alcohol: Again, that was a stupid question…
-- Smoked: Yeppers.
-- Done a drug: Actually, I haven’t lately…
-- Had Sex: Always.
-- Made Out: yeah
-- Gone To The Mall?: nope
-- Eaten An Entire Box Of Oreos? Uh…no…
-- Eaten Sushi: never eaten it…
-- Been On Stage: no
-- Been Dumped: Yes.
-- Gone Skating: nopers
-- Made Homemade Cookies: uh uh
-- Gone SkinnyDipping: It’s way too cold for that!
-- Dyed Your Hair: It dries it out.
-- Stolen Anything: I don’t steal; it’s arrogant.
LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-- Played A Game That Required Removal Of Clothing: strip pool…and others…
-- If So, Was It Mixed Company: yeah
-- Been Trashed Or Extremely Intoxicated: Matt wiped me! lol
-- Been Caught "Doing Something": not in the act, no…
-- Shoplifted: I already told my philosophy on stealing.
-- Changed Who You Were To Fit In: yeah
LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age You Hope To Be Married: 22 or 23
-- Numbers And Names Of Children: 2 girls: Destiny Rose and Heaven Jade
-- Describe Your Dream Wedding: I want to have a black, sparkling wedding dress and glass slippers; the only flowers will be roses; Matt will be my groom; they’ll be a dj at the reception; most of all, I’ll be happy. It will be the happiest day of my entire life.
-- How Do You Want To Die: I want to die quietly, with no pain. However, I don’t want to be alone, either…
-- Where You Want To Go To College: Wilkes or Kings
-- What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up: a famous writer
-- What Country Would You Most Like To Visit: Mexico
LAYER NINE:
In A Guy... -- Best Eye Color? I used to think blue, but brown are becoming better and better…
-- best hair color? dark
-- short or long hair:short, but not too short; kind of shaggy is okay....
-- height: tall, but not too much
-- best weight: not too big; below 200
-- best articles of clothing: beaters and kind of tight jeans
-- best first date location: the beach, if I were to come up with one…
-- best first kiss location: somewhere private, where there are no interruptions…
LAYER TEN:
-- # of drugs taken illegally: just pot, if you don’t count caffeine pills or other pills of that nature…
-- # of people I could trust with my life: 0
-- # of CDs that I own: probably too many to count…
-- # of piercings: 2 in one ear, and one in the other…That basically sums things up…
-- # of tattoos: none
-- # of scars on my body: idk
-- # of things in my past that I regret: too many to count…
LAYER ELEVEN:
--Are you shy: in certain situations, I am…
--Name the worst thing you have ever done: I’ve done a lot of horrible things. I’d rather not count them...
--What is one thing you wish you could do: be happy
--Favorite Color: black

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