i suddenly have the wildest idea i could ever have; that is to become a male. not with the operations and everything but i wanted to wear a guy's clothes and shoes and everything and run around behaving like a guy. i wonder how i will look like.

haha...i just wanna know what it is like to be a guy, but of course that excludes going to the gent instead of the ladies or to be a guy forever. it was just my curiosity.

but if i really do that, it will means that i cannot go to the toilet for it will be very confusing. i am a female, yet i cannot go to the ladies. i am wearing as a male, yet going to the gent is weird. haha.insanity!!

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i feel so loveless right now, but who is there to care??

how i wish someone is right here for me
whenever i need a person by my side
i wish someone to comfort me
and help me solve my problems
i wish i have someone who can listen to me
and me able to face, without hiding myself
i wish someone is here
to hug me tight
and tell me he/she will be there when i need a person
and that i can rest my mind and go to sleep
and draws a rainbow to my gloomy sky

i feel so loveless now, but who cares??

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i am totally frustrated with chain letters.i don't know why but people just keep creating and sending chain letters.it is ok if they don't send it to me but gosh,i received all these irritating stuff from my friends.how childish are they to follow those chain letters and keep sending non-stop.

i know they have nothing better to do only and so they start sending these kind of letters.but why can't they just listen to me when i said stop sending me those stupid letters?i have to keep deleting and deleting and deleting.

some chain letters are idiotic.they will write things like 'fake friends will ignore this and true friends will send back' or things like that.if someone were to really use this kind of chain letters to determine who his/her true friends are,that person is foolish.i will be very angry if one of my friends use that to determine if i am really a true friend or not.

i mean,if someone really use chain letters to find true friend,what happens to the most basic reason for friends to exist?has it become from 'always be there when you need one' to 'as long as you have enough time to send back to me my chain letters' ?

chain letters are totally frustrating and irritating.i am so glad they don't have chain letters here,for there are blogs that people still type in lots and lots of chain letters.if chain letters are true,with what they said 'forward to a number of people or you will die three days later',then tell me,who have died because of it?make me believe i should forward those stupid letters.

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i finally pass my account yesterday.from a 4% to a 53.75% over 100%.

but i don't know why,i wasn't happy at all.yeah,maybe a smile or something like that but i don't have the high feeling that i finally pass.the results to me are just pass then pass,fail then fail.nothing special about it.

i don't know why,i am tired of smiling.

each time i smile or laugh,the emptiness in me spoiled the whole feeling.deep in my heart,i just feel empty even though i am happy.i don't know why.but i know that i am tired of smiling,when each time i smile,its never showing what my heart really felt.

i can run away from all those nasty feelings and tell myself i am ok.but i can't run away from that emptiness in my heart,for no matter how hard i tried,it is always there.

can anyone teach me how i can get rid of the emptiness in my heart?i don't even know how it got there but it is frustrating.i have a heart that can't feel,just like a tongue that can't taste!

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those who hate me,confess now

for if you don't,you will be such a hypocrite.

even my brother,the person i doted on most

told me he hated me a lot

and keep cursing me

hoping that i would die soon

what other reasons are there

for people not to hate me?

so confess now

for it will a lesser pain for me

rather than to let me know

you have been acting all this long

tell me now

that you hate me.

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sometimes, i really think that life is boring.the reason i said this is that i feel as though almost everyone around me does not wear their own true-hearted expressions.it seems like everyone have learnt how to hide their feelings.

i had a friend whose mood was dampened by someone else always,and that she felt pain when she thought about it.and yet she can still laugh and joke with that someone else when they meet.

i had a friend who really dislike the person a lot.there are misunderstandings,and jealousy and some problems.jealousy is hard to overcome especially that kind that one is jealous of someone else's particular thing that one can never achieve.and yet she treat it as though they were good friends,when i know she is still yelling inside her heart.

life is weird

why people like to speak and do things in the opposite ways??

they hate it,yet they said they love it

they wanted it,yet they said they don't want it

i mean

wearing a mask is a tired thing

yet they seems to feel nothing

why?

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