Thanks for your concerns. I'll be okay. It'll just take a little while. I have an appointment with a shrink next week.

They finally found her diaries today. She buried them in a box in her backyard. They said on the news that she had planned this a long time ago. I'm sure at that time I was probably on her hit list. I wasn't always the nicest to her. I guess my change of heart granted me a reprieval.

It seems her home life was just as bad as her school life. Everyone is calling her a monster. I don't agree with what she did by any means, but in a way she was kind of pushed to this point. It wasn't like she woke up one day and decided to kill a bunch of people for apparent reason.

I don't know. Is there something wrong with me for feeling this need to stick up for her?

Plugs: lyndeep, LostSoul13, renaye, Nuttz

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I know I said I would have more time to write, but I spoke too soon. About a week after my last post, the big thing I hoped wouldn't happen did. Good news is I found out who "A Fellow Outcast" was. Her name was Deidre and she wasn't the typical outcast. Actually, she was second in command in the popular group, under Tina who is now on probation for her part in trying to kill me.

Anyways, the day before, she showed up to school giving away all of her stuff. Everyone thought she was going to commit suicide. Someone got her to go see the counselor, but she convinced her that everything was all right. The next day proved she wasn't. It was so weird. You see this kind of stuff on TV, but it doesn't really register until it's happening to you.

I was in English class at the time. We were suppose to go to the library, which was just next door, to do some research for our first paper, but another class beat us to it. So, we kind of got a reading day instead. Just as I looked over at the empty seat where Deidre was suppose to be, that's when we heard the pop. There was no screaming, yelling, nothing before. Just all of a sudden a pop like a firecracker had gone off in the building. After each pop, we heard screams and pleads, but it didn't sound like Deidre said one word.

Our teacher went into immediate survival mode. She taped a piece of paper to the little window on the door and then locked it. Then she turned off the lights and had us gather in a distant corner away from the door. It wasn't until a few minutes later when she got the all clear from the principal via text message to start evacuating us out one of the other windows and down to the parking lot. By that time, the popping had stopped and it was silence except for the distant sounds of sirens.

We were led to safety, but no one was telling us anything about what had just happened. I understand why, but it didn't make the curiosity go away. At the time, we didn't know who the shooter was. We started getting pieces of information from the reporters, desperately trying to get their story. Deidre showed up to school with her dad's gun. She went into the library and started shooting. She didn't say a word. She just kept squeezing the trigger. She had the gun aimed at Tina when Josh tackled her. Probably the only good deed he has ever done in his life. They wrestled on the floor for seconds before it went off and shot Deidre. She died on the way to the hospital.

In the end, three people died, four including Deidre, and six others were wounded. They say David, the best running back this school has ever had, may never walk again.

There really is no rhyme or reason to it all. Two weeks later and they still don't know why she did it. She supposedly had journals, but they haven't found them yet. I knew her since pre-school and NEVER thought she would do anything like this. She was really the only one from my old social group that still said "hello" to me in the halls. I just don't get it.

What didn't help was that everyone's parents showed up to make sure their kids were okay. My parents never came. Eric's mom was the one who pretty much took care of me along with Eric, who by the way wasn't in the library thank God. I called frantically trying to find them, but it wasn't until like 10pm before I actually saw them. They claimed they heard it was all a false alarm. I could have bought that if Tina's mom didn't work with my mom.

I haven't slept too well since that day. Probably won’t for awhile.


S.

Plugs: randomjunk, LostSoul13, lyndeep, Nuttz, renaye

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I'm sure you all are patiently awaiting the details of my first day of school. I was expecting a war zone. Instead, it was a day like any other first day of school. I don't know whether to be relieved or fearful that the "surprise" might take place on another day.

Other than that, the last couple of days were okay. Tons of paperwork to fill out as usual. We got our books and was assigned lockers. We had to write the stupid essay about ourselves and read them in class. I don't understand why we have to write that essay ever year. It seems so grade school.


S.

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My shopping trip with Eric was so much fun even though he technically doesn't like to shop. He sucked it up for me. I love a guy who is willing to take a few moments of humiliation for his girl.

While I was looking at some cute tops in this new boutique, this girl pulled a Wynona right in front of his. I couldn't believe it. She stuffed some shirts in her bag without hesitating a second. Eric wanted to tell the owner and security which is the right thing to do. Unfortunately, security wouldn't do anything. They don't get paid enough to care. And she was out of the store before the owner got back from wherever she went. Of course, she didn't leave the store completely abandoned. She momentarily handed over the reigns to some teenager barely out of high school who was going on and on about some guy on the phone.

Didn't matter anyways. The little thief was caught later that afternoon. She had like $3,000 worth of merchandise on her. She tried to steal some earnings and the owner saw her. He threatened to shoot her with his gun. She dropped her bag with all the stuff and took off. I'm not surprised she got away with stealing that much before being caught.

It's not the first time something like that happened and it won't be the last. You would think people would want action or something to stop stuff like that from ever happening again, but no. It's like they don't even care. Well unless it involves them.

I got everything I need for school and then some. I just hope the first day goes well.

Plugs: ShaShaBoo, LostSoul13, lyndeep, renaye, Nuttz, The-Muffin-Man

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I know I haven't been writing much lately, but hopefully, that will all change. I passed all my classes in Summer school with flying colors. School starts on Thursday. I picked up my schedule two days ago and mom has given me some cash to go shopping for school supplies, clothes and shoes tomorrow. I hate the first day homework, but love getting a whole new wardrobe.

Eric is going to tag along. I'm so glad his parents lifted his punishment though it's pretty stupid for them to ground him in the first place. I thought when he came out of the coffin so to speak that he would be different but he seems like the old Eric except for a little more relaxed. I guess all of my worrying over him leaving me was for nothing.

I'm a bit afraid of what the mysterious vigilante has in store for the first day of school. I think the cops are still scratching their heads over this. I just hope it doesn't turn out to be a sequel to Columbine.


S.

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Sorry for the disappearance. I've been trying to catch up in Summer school. I have about a week left. Then, two weeks off before school starts.

Let me catch you up on what's been going on. The trial went well. Josh was sentenced to Juvie until he turns 21. He wasn't too happy about that. I'm kind of surprised there wasn't more since he practically interrupted me everytime I spoke a word on the witness stand and wasn't following the judge's orders. The funny thing is that during his testimony he gave up Tina. Said if he was going down, she should go down with him. They arrested her the next day. Right in front of her mom. Man, I wish I was there to see that.

I got another note for "A Fellow Outcast" which said: Can't wait until school starts, can you? Not sure what that means. I gave it to the police and I have feeling the first day of school is going to be really bad.

Eric's parents told him that they are lifting his punishment next week. Can't wait to see him.


S.

Plugs: Nuttz, Princess_00, randomjunk, bluetopaz, renaye, lyndeep, money4blogging

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