Did you ever have one of those amazing dreams...one that seemed completely real....one that you really wish was true.....but then you wake up to find yourself still alone in your bed??? That is the type of dream I had last night. Everything was perfect....it actually took me a minute when I woke up this morning to realize that nothing had really happened. This is one of the reasons that I do not like dreaming sometimes. You feel like you are in complete control of how you are feeling until you fall asleep. There is really no way to control what you dream about....so you are pretty much at the mercy of your own thoughts and imagination. Needless to say...when I woke up this morning....I felt really down. I think I need to leave the house and try to put the dream behind me. This will be the best solution for everybody....especially me.


Ok...let's not leave on a sad note. Here is something funny to end with: Once upon a time there lived a two-headed man named Phil. He had recently lost his job and was in the process of looking for work. When he noticed a "help wanted" sign in the window of a local barber shop, he did not hesitate to check it out. Upon entering, Phil went directly to the front desk and requested an application. The receptionist (or whatever they are called at barbershops) quickly refused. When Phil asked what the problem was, she quickly responded "I'm sorry, you just have TOO many heads.....haha...get it.....TOO many heads.....'cuz you have two heads....it's a pun.....ha....now get out of here and try the hat store across the street." -The End-

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So I was browsing radio stations on the internet earlier today and I found a whole bunch of stations that actually play the music that I listen to....the esoteric songs that most people who don't own the cd would not know. Let me put it this way...this was probably the highlight of my week..haha....I finally can listen to music at work now without having to carry around a bunch of cds. I pretty much view the radio as garbage.....they pick a handfull of songs and play them over and over until the cd melts. This new internet discovery is fucking awesome. The songs are not overplayed...and they are not the popular songs that everyone hears when they turn on the radio. Music at work will really help to pass the time. The pickins are sweet...to say the least.

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"YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Now here's your reward....your eternal reward" *unsheaths crooked blade out of straight holster* Haha....50 cents to the first person who guesses what movie that's from.....don't forget that the title of this entry is part of the quote. Go!

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I have been enjoying the chilly weather recently....not so much for the low temperature, but for the way it makes me feel. For some reason, those 40-60 degree days are a great time to just put a coat on and take a long walk....a walk with no particular destination. There is something about the cool air that makes me think....that makes me just keep walking...barely noticing anything other than the scenery around me. It's almost like everyone else becomes invisible and I'm left with nothing but the air, the sky, and my thoughts. I really like taking walks at night....especially during this time of the year. A chilly breeze blows the leaves around, and the night sky is often full of stars...well as full as it can be considering where I live. I don't know....I just like sitting outside at night...looking at the trees...or even better...a body of water. Something about it always brings me back.

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A song that captures my mood pretty well these days....."Rough Draft" by yellowcard



1-2-3-4


Like a Saturday night I'll be gone

Like a Saturday night I'll be gone

before you knew that I was there


So you wrote it down

I'm supposed to care

Even though it's never there

Sorry if I'm not prepared

Is it hard to see the things you substitute

For me and all my thoughts of you

It's eating me alive to leave you


Maybe it's childish and maybe it's wrong

But so is your blank stare in lieu of this song

Maybe it's childish and maybe it's wrong


Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong

You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song

Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong

You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song


I'm breathing in your skin tonight

Quiet is my loudest cry

Wouldn't wanna wake the eyes that make me melt inside

And if it's healthier to leave you be

may a sickness come and set me free

Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me


I'm finding my own words, my own little stage

my own epic drama, my own scripted page

I'll send you the rough draft, I'll seal it with tears

Maybe you'll read it and I'll reappear

From the start it was shaky and the characters rash,

A nice setting for heartache where emotions come last

All I have deep inside, to overcome this desire

are friendly intentions and fair-weather smiles


And I don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong

you're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song

Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong

You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song


Like Saturday night I'll be gone

Like Saturday night I'll be gone

Like Saturday night I'll be gone

Like Saturday night I'll be gone before you knew that I was there

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After many many months of not burning myself a new CD, I finally decided that last night was the night of atonement. For those of you who don't know me, here's the deal. Every time I buy a new CD, I copy it to my computer......so when I decide to burn myself a CD...I can take songs from every CD I own and mix and match them in order to create one splendid example of musical righteousness. Listening to music in my car is very relaxing to me. No matter how shitty I am feeling at the time....getting into my car and just taking a drive while listening to music always makes me feel a little better....even if it only lasts the duration of the drive.

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