AND IF I EEEEEEV--(EVER FALL ) IN LOVE AGAAAIN
I will be SURE THAT THE LADY IS A FRIEND
And if I EEEEV--(Ever FALL) IN LOVE SO TRUE
I will be sure that the lady is just like you
I'e got this weird habit of biting my bottom lip. I pull it into my mouth just far enough to sink my teethe into. It is not about nerves, mind you, just something I do when I think.
"Where are you sitting,"� was the question Brittany posed to me at the beginning of our geo class that got me biting my lip. The question was simple enough, but the.. Sheer potential that my answer held got to me. It was the second time that day that I saw her. The first was when she was walking back from a class and looked up to the balcony of my dorm building and saw me and one of my roommates flailing our arms in the sky and screaming "MISS! BOO! BAH!"\ as we played Wii golf outside. The girls next door, and the two guys who live next to them moved their couches outside and I brought my TV so we stayed up for two nights( The Princess Bride, Harold and Kumar, Wicker Park ( I LOVE THIS MOVIE! ) and 10 things I hate about you ) So she saw me, and I gave her my notes from a class she missed the week prior and asked her to return 'em to me when she comes to our class later that night.
"I'm where I always am, in the back." I led the way up the stairs and sat in my regular spot and she sat beside me. About an hour into the class I made some corny joke about exfoliation and died.(hyperbole, I know.) I always tell her jokes(mostly hair jokes since I'm bald and those always get a smile.) and yeah. Class ends, and we're waiting outside for the shuttle to come to drop us off at our dorm(Here comes the lip biting part.)
On the bus we made what I considered to be small talk.. I joked, she giggled. I smiled, she grinned,I'd lean up across the back of her seat and whisper something, and she'd lend me her ear. I gazed out the window toward the night sky and she put her head down and exhaled. It was during one of those quiet moments with me staring out the window, that I realized that I had been flirting with her the entire evening, and that she had reciprocated. Not so much with the words we spoke(although that was a part of it,) but the things we didn't have to say. Mostly just the gazes. I know, I know, "Big deal, you flirted with a girl you like," right? Right. I was almost giddy for about three minutes before I gazed out the window again and told myself it meant nothing, and that it wasn't a precursor to me actually moving on from the let down that has been well documented on this here weblog. Last time we(Brit and I)talked about relationships she hinted that some other guy had a thing for her, and as much as I'd love to be her man, I really don't want to be her man.
Yes I do.
No I don't.
She's moving to Spain next semester, so it doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that before I bid her adeau after walking her to her room she reached into her backpack and pulled out a piece of chocolate. "I got this especially for you," she told me. In retrospect, she was probably being sarcastic, but hey, she gave me some candy. Gotta' count for something, right?
If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black and you show off your light
I'll live to let you shine.
Puerto Rico was nice. I’ve been meaning to write about my adventures with Antonia(toni.nutang.com) ever since I came back but I’ve been a little preoccupied with school and living this life God gave me to mold. I’ve got enough things on my mind to write four one thousand word entries, but I’ll spare you, the three people who read this(HI MOM!) the trouble of going through all of those words. Anyway, Puerto Rico… I could talk a lot about how beautiful some of the towns were.. How much of a culture change it was from Texas to PR, what with everyone speaking Spanish as opposed to Engrish, ( Yeah, I said engRish.), or the polarization of wealth between the very rich and the very poor… but I won’t. Those things are all noteworthy but the aspect of my trip that left the biggest impression on me was Antonia, my host. My brotha from ANOTHA MOTHA, one of the, if not the, biggest influence on my life outside of my family since my days were spent on the playground, playing the role of Power Rangers and digimon trainers( You know you loved one of those shows.). I spent three nights there, four days with her and they were all amazing. We spent the majority of our time just chilling in her living room, playing on her old N64. “Its nice to be living in 1997, Antonia,” I teased her when I first saw the thing. She just rolled her eyes and shot back with some sarcastic comment of her own… probably a hair joke.
We spent a lot of time talking. Living. Loving the company of each other… It was nice to be able to be with someone and not have to bring in some third party entertainment contraption out of shee rboredom. Although, she did take me to a bar once… and wouldn’t let me watch Law and Order. She also took me to the university, some b each type deal, a tourist area, and on a lot of other places. I got to ride on a train, too!
Check out the gallery for pictures. There are a lot of ‘em there with me and her and Puerto Rico.
I’m home now… and I miss her. I’ve got good people here in San Antonio, people I’d give the shirt off my back to… but no one who I can point to and say, “Nine, ten years from now, I’ll still love you like I do now, if not more.” I used to think that I had two people in my life who I could say that to… but as I alluded to in a previous entry, I’m pushing ‘er away. Defense mechanism. I’m trying not to… but yeah. Anyway, this entry is dedicated to My Antonia, who I have and always will love from behind these brown eyes of mine to the depths of my soul.
